Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Obsessions This past holiday season I had very different feelings than in the previous one. In 2006, I watched all the old Xmas movies and cried my eyes out like a fool. In 2007, they did not affect me in that way at all. I thought they were dumb. What I think is that in '06, I was grieving over the loss of holiday joy that I used to feel. In '07, the joy was completely gone and I have become an abject pessimist. Sappy movies no longer have any power over me. I don't believe the lies any more... That's what it is. All of the cultural lies that make the holidays seem like "the most wonderful time of the year" are just so transparent in the face of a massive economic downturn, war, and all the other horrible stuff that's been building up since nine eleven. Sappy holiday movies are like a cruel, tasteless joke. I know all the songs in "White Christmas" but I just couldn't get into Bing and Danny any more. I still feel doom in the air. And I see conspiracies everywhere. I think it's dawning on more and more people every day. We've all been suckered by the elites, but most people have no idea of the extent of premeditation that accompanies this manipulation. I'm talking engineered social conditioning, targeted diseases (with corresponding expensive pharmaceuticals that provide relief or else create some other worse problem) -- some even being administered to us through the foods we eat, all kinds of propaganda campaigns and financial schemes to trap ordinary people. I've been caught up and obsessed with this one doomer web forum for more than a year now, on which conspiracy theories are discussed. But during that year the tone of the site changed dramatically and began to attract all kinds of Christian fanatics (because of the end of the world stuff) and right wingnuts, whereas when I first discovered it, it was being frequented mostly by people interested in benign progressive, spiritual and scientific stuff. Suddenly it was being spammed vigorously, with many contributors accusing others of being "shills", propaganda artists, liars, CIA ops, etc. There are constant predictions of doom on that site. Financial doom, and especially celestial doom. We're going to get hit by an asteroid or a comet (prediction of asteroid hit right now for the 24th or 29th of Jan.); Yellowstone supervolcano's gonna blow, there's going to be a massive EQ on the Madrid fault that will tear the country in half literally -- stuff like this constantly discussed, and much of it unverifiable. Even when people post links to supportive material, they are often suspect. Still, there's enough there to keep the intellectually curious busy checking facts and worrying... And even more worrisome, all kinds of TV programs suddenly began to appear that matched the doom shit on the forum. Mostly on The History Channel -- check out The Universe show, and The Discovery Channel, which I think is the one I saw the show about the Yellowstone "supervolcano" on. This created a buzz on the forum that the propaganda there was being mirrored and reinforced on cable TV to get people used to these ideas, but the consensus there is that the general public will never be informed before any event like a comet strike. That stuff's only for the movies. The elites don't want panic and need to feed off of us right up until the last second before they run to their hidden shelters. There are many links on the forum to oddball news the US media isn't giving us, much of it about the weather and earth changes all over the world. The wild weather is happening everywhere much more frequently than the media want to show us. If they did, people would be putting some pieces together and getting very afraid. When you look at all the information, it's very scary. HUGE increase in EQ activity the world over. What does it all mean? There are even rumors of weather manipulation. I don't doubt that the technology exists to do that. I think there is all kinds of technology stuff that would make our jaws drop that's hidden from the public. I don't want to put the URL for this forum here because I don't want to be linked to it. I really do believe that government people watch that site closely. Sorry folks. But if you google "conspiracy theories" you can probably find it. Look for the god on the fringe. And don't mention it in the comments box here, please. Re: climate change, is the wild weather caused by man-made "global warming"? Or by events happening in our own solar system? If the latter is the case, why aren't NASA and our government doing a better job of letting us know what's going on? Is there a coverup of something? The forum is bursting with rumors of coverups of all kinds. What bugs me is what's causing the changes elsewhere in the solar system? And is the sun going into some kind of weird cycle that will change the jet stream and cause a new ice age to descend on us instantly? They found mastadons under glaciers with undigested fresh (still green) plants in their mouths... Which means that they were quick-frozen instantly. Could something like that really happen? This is a fascinating link I came across recently that has footnotes, regarding the changes that are happening all over the solar system. Provides hours of gloomy, creepy entertainment. The first page is about the movie Day After Tomorrow but keep going, on page two, if you scroll down, there is tons of information about what's going on with the other planets in the solar system lately. So after poring over this web forum for a year or so I reached the conclusion that it's a propaganda portal, not just a place where regular people post for entertainment. Then I stumbled onto a whisper of something secret that appears in many threads, but in code. I couldn't figure out what this meant but finally I figured out that it's the name of an elite research company in UK. Can't mention it because I really am scared of the whole thing. I made the mistake of typing in the name, and was surprised to see in my posting that it had been instantly changed to "Merry Christmas" and I had been banned from the site. So I was correct. This operation is flooding this web site with crazy ideas and stories -- it's "viral". People come to the portal and spread the info everywhere, and embellish on it, tell their friends about it, etc. until there is just a shitstorm of disinformation, and I believe it's all being done to cover up stuff the government and elites are doing. From reading between the lines, connecting the dots (and judging from the sheer amount of disinfo), I can figure out that something extremely big and bad really is going on, but I can't tell what. That's what is driving me crazy and what keeps me coming back there. It's like solving a big mystery. It's got that Sherlock Holmes part of this Scorpio all fired up. I AM GOING TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT! So far, I think it's either one of two things, or both: solar system events and geopolitical events -- the former perhaps causing the latter. I think that elites in governments know that the solar system is getting ready to do something that will really fuck with earth, whether that is some kind of huge comet hitting us (have you read about comet Holmes, by the way -- speaking of Holmes... I'll come back to that later) or just the sun crapping out and sending us into an ice age, or something. So whatever it is that they know about is causing all of this madness we're seeing with resource grabbing and power consolidation. I think they have a timeline and the time is drawing near. I am convinced that no one in congress can be trusted and that the two party thing is just an illusion. I think that up in DC, they all collude behind closed doors, or are forced to cooperate by blackmail or other kinds of threats. Fair elections? The HAVA act's purpose was to fubar the system for years to come. But never mind voting fraud. That is the least of our worries, according to the conspiracy forum. They are conspiring to get rid of you and me. They want to create one big lower class, wipe out the middle class and flat out get rid of people over 50. They keep quietly curtailing our civil rights, and people haven't noticed the noose tightening until it's right around their necks. Now we have this so-called "thought crimes" legislation, and talk of limiting gun rights again. What does this tell you, people? The government is frightened to death of insurrection, and that means that the country is in the mood for it. There are many postings on this web forum by angry young men. Angry at their government and ready to do something about it. If we go into a bad recession, it's a definite possibility, from the tone of these postings. Meanwhile, the elites are looting everyone's investments and pensions at lightspeed right now. If you wanted to cash out your retirement account, you probably wouldn't be able to at this point. We're all being robbed blind. And the rumors at this site are incredible. They are doing it to build and stock bunkers and underground cities for themselves in the sides of rock mountains to hide in when the comet hits, or maybe for when they nuke us all but we'll believe the comet hit -- perhaps because of the fear-mongering propaganda that's been spread on this forum, and other places, which is an engineered campaign by this UK firm and the "alphabet" agencies of our own government. Where is some of that Iraq war money going? Nobody seems to know. Could it be to this bunker-building effort? Who knows if that's for real, but there have been rumors of a city underneath the Denver airport for years now. I've laid in some supplies and thought about where I could go to get away. Then realized I have nowhere to go and I'll probably just have to sit tight. Gradually I relaxed about it, realizing there's nothing I can really do. I don't know what's coming. Just live with the free-floating fear... Maybe I'm attracted to the doom, too. I'm pretty sick of "the system". I was sick of it when I was 21, in my second job out of college. I guess that would have been around 1982. I can remember driving to work in downtown Denver on the freeway that runs through town, being stuck in traffic there, looking around me and thinking, "This is not how we are supposed to live. Something is very wrong with all of this." I'd descend into the basement workplace and have to punch a time clock. Get treated like a monkey or a machine all day. Even before that, I had an internship in high school in the advertising dept. of a department store, and it was thoroughly depressing. All these weird grownups worked there -- they had various addictions and hangups and bullshit that I'd never been exposed to before. Drunks and manipulators and narcissists. I was the wide-eyed Pollyanna of the bunch and I vowed that I would NEVER, EVER get a job in advertising. Then of course I went on to have a career in it. Which I have always been very ambivalent about, to put it mildly. I was never sure I had the stuff to be a genuine artist, because I got brainwashed by my family into believing that if I tried to I would fail and be poor and miserable and probably live in a "garrett" somewhere. What the hell is a garrett, anyway? Sounded like a dungeon of some sort. And apparently starving artists have to eat things like cans of cold beans, which they ration out in spoonfuls at mealtime. We may all end up like that anyway, as a result of our unsustainable modern culture. On the political/economic scene, I think the country's imploding not so much because of the so-called subprime mortgage crisis, but because of a wider crisis which I mentioned above, the sheer unsustainability of everything we've been doing. It's a global correction. In Hopi prophesy, the collapse of unsustainable white infrastructure is seen as a Purification. And that's the feeling I get about it, too. Remembering back to that moment of looking down the freeway on my way to work when I was 21, I was thinking that we all need to be delivered from this madness and have the world be made PURE again, free from white corruption and slavery schemes. Back to the land. Not even any farming. Right back to the woods, hunting and gathering. If it was good enough for Black Elk and Sitting Bull and all the rest of the People, it's good enough for me. I wrote my ex in jail about the Black Elk dream. He himself is a very imposing Navajo guy. He did not mention it when I visited, but later sent me a letter with my first lesson in Medicine. And here it is:Now I need a .22. Even earlier, when I was probably about 15 years old, I remember a vision I had one time when I was walking to school. The school was a very long walk away, and I used to almost go into trances on my way there, plodding away and thinking weird thoughts. I would think about how far away the 21st century seemed -- I think that was around the time that the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey came out and so the 21st century was on our minds. I'd think to myself, "Wow -- I'll be so old then. I'll be FORTY THREE at the turn of the century!!" Now of course that seems young. But then the vision came. I saw that our country was like a petty tyrant, like a piggy little king of the world, oppressing everyone, and that it would be destroyed by fire. I saw nothing but fire, and it seemed to mean a big war that would break out after the turn of the century some time. 11:01:49 PM    comment []