"We’re not gonna take it. Never did and never will"
Some things, you just know about people. I know that my wife is always going to take an interest in something with Brad Pitt. I know my friend Kelly always has a plan. And I know that Jim Haefele will absolutely respond when called on to defend the Beatles. I made such a call yesterday afternoon, when forces very much beyond my control compelled me to confront Jim with this issue, a concern of mine that had been simmering just beneath the surface of our interactions since sometime in mid-1994. Finally, yesterday, I dropped the gauntlet: I innocently asked who he would defend when push came to shove, the Who or the Beatles? The trap was set. Within seconds, servers in Tunisia relayed his preknown (to me) response: "Beatles, of course."
Now, it could be that Jim is not expecting me to approach this assignment with such fury. He may not know that I’ve been itching for this fight on behalf of the Who for some time now. But let’s face it, the Who has an uphill climb in this battle, fighting years of entrenched Beatlemania and a fawning press. The Who need the emotional element of a surprise attack.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love the Beatles. I’m no Beatles-hata. I just think that maybe some people haven’t fully appreciated the facts. Consider…
The Who invented the Concept Album and Rock Opera.
The Who Sell Out is a brilliant spoof of English commercial radio in the mid-1960’s. The album was recorded to sound like an actual radio program, with voice-overs, radio ads and jingles for products like Coke and the Batman TV series. (I still get the lyric in my head whenever I order my drink of choice-"Coke after Coke after Coke after Coca-Cola!") Of course, everybody knows about Tommy, but the Who also recorded Quadrophenia and A Quick One While He’s Away. Now, I’m not defending Quadrophenia. I’m not doing that at all. I’m just saying they did the Rock Opera, and that’s a very significant thing. Rock Operas get kind of a bad name, because first of all, it’s called "opera", so there’s a stigma. If they had called it a Rock Orgy, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion. Not only that, but the first Rock Opera ever created was also probably the best one, so the genre went downhill from the start. I mean, anybody got any other nominations? The only Beatles albums that can remotely be considered innovative in a "Concept" way are Yellow Submarine and Magical Mystery Tour (barely), and both of those are musical Hindenbergs. But Tommy is an epic album in it’s own right on the strength of the songs alone. The fact that the songs all tell a totally believable story about a Pinball-playing Helen Keller wannabe is just an amazing bonus. Plus, "Pinball Wizard" is an anthem. The Beatles never wrote an anthem, and they are to be damned for that alone.
The Who Popularized Loops
The opening loop to Baba O’Riley was one of the first examples of a band using a generated sound loop in the recording process. Or something very close to that. It was very innovative, I know that. I’ve read about it in some articles. That song was so cool, Friday Night Videos had to steal it.
Now, I know that "Musical Innovation" is going to be an area where Jim Haefele intends to make hay with the Beatles. I’m not going to sit here and deny that the Beatles were very innovative in the studio. Yes, they hung from the ceiling to do vocals. Yes, they multi-tracked voices. Yes, they used feedback. But were the songs any better for it? I know that Jim Haefele has books which document these very facts. We don’t need to rehash that here, but I will ask you one simple question: When was the last time you listened to Sgt. Pepper? When was the last time you unsheathed your air guitar to a Beatles song?
The Who Were An Actual Live Band
Come on. We’ve all seen the video. Hordes of screaming girls; concerts that were more social phenomenon than musical event. Shea Stadium was so loud John Lennon couldn’t hear himself play piano or sing, and nobody else heard him, either. The Beatles finally gave it up for good after playing Candlestick Park in 1966, so they could "expand their music" and "jilt the ticket-buying public". And no, I don’t count some grainy color video and a great fur coat on top of a London flat to be a "concert". It makes for a great story and a Great Moment I Wish I Could Have Been Present For, but I’ll take any Who show from ’68 to ’72 instead.
The Who was a terrifically powerful live band. Each instrumentalist was a dynamic and virtuoso performer who brought a distinct physicality to their playing. Ever hear Ringo or George described as "dynamic"? Pete Townshend redefined what a guitar hero could be on stage; people will do the Townshend windmill move for as long as they play guitars (even though he stole it from a Keith Richards’ warmup move). Ever see anybody mimic Lennon or McCartney’s playing style? I won’t even get into Keith Moon’s drumming style, and how amazing Entwistle was on bass. Let’s just say, they were all capable of carrying a show on their own for moments at a time, and they had to be, because Roger Daltrey sucked so much once he started singing. There is no greater testament to a band’s live power than Live At Leed’s, still perhaps the best live rock recording ever made. As soon as you feel the opening power of "Heaven and Hell", you know this isn’t a Beatles album you’re hearing. Why? Because that Beatles concert worth recording NEVER HAPPENED. They were a studio band; they had more in common with Steely Dan and the Alan Parsons Project than a live powerhouse like the Who or Cream.
Not only that, but the Who smashed their stuff and made one of the Smothers Brothers go deaf! The Who did outrageous things on stage to get a reaction, which predated so much of what made punk exciting by about 10 years. Did the Beatles ever influence punk? I’m not saying that the identity of one’s imitators is the litmus test of greatness, but it’s something to consider. The Beatles were in music’s Ivory Tower, mythical figures even to other musicians. The Who was out putting shows on, giving thousands of people over (too) many years a terrific live musical experience, unless you were in Cincinnati in 1981.
The Who Was Funny
That’s right, the Who was funny. They wrote a song about a pretty girl who had body odor that scared away a suitor. That’s funny. If only she knew that the fictional deodorant Odorono could have saved the day. The song "Tattoo" is funny, too:
My dad beat me ‘cause mine said "Mother",
But my Mother naturally liked it, and beat my brother
‘Cause his tattoo was of a lady in the nude
And my Mother thought that was extremely rude.
Now, isn’t that a lot funnier than George calling some British Aristocrats "Piggies", or Rocky Raccoon getting a cap in his ass? You bet. Most of all, it’s just a wonderfully whimsical little tune, one of many Who songs that can make the claim. They don’t get old, and the lyrics are always clever. Sure, the Beatles could have fun once in awhile, too, but do you really want to listen to Maxwell’s Silver Hammer again? Yeah, thought so.
The Who Was Scary
Oh, yes; very scary. Entwistle’s haunting "Uncle Ernie", a tale of child molestation and abuse is just plain creepy stuff. Genuinely scary. The only Uncle any of the Beatles ever sang about was Paul’s sorry apology to his Uncle Albert that he just sat around on his ass all day, probably because he got too high with Denny Laine. That’s just another strike against the Beatles; they promoted Sloth.
But the scariness doesn’t stop with the music. My friend Cliff talks about vivid childhood memories of being freaked out by the cover of Tommy, where the band members all appear to be peering out of some kind of futuristic cage, or cheese-grater. I checked it out, and he’s right. Those guys are trapped in there, and they just can’t get out. It’s scary. The scariest cover any of the Beatles ever did was Plastic Ono Band, because Yoko was on that one. Don’t even try to give them some kind of weird extra credit for the Walrus on the Magical Mystery Tour cover being the same Walrus that appears during the Shelly Duvall Freakout Scene in The Shining. We’ve all heard that tortured argument before, and it isn’t selling here.
Now, Jim Haefele could get technical here, and argue that the Beatles were in fact very scary, so scary that they literally drove Brian Wilson insane. Personally, I cut them no slack for sending Wilson over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Brian Wilson was going to go nuts anyway, and everybody knows it. Wilson likes to blame the Beatles to get attention.
Men of Myth
The Beatles had the good sense to end their relationship while they were on top. But it wasn’t just good sense. The fact is, they bloody couldn’t stand each other. So, they get bad marks for not being a Team. The Who was a Team. They went on their last concert tour at John Entwistle’s pleading, to help save him from financial ruin! That’s Team. Not only that, they continued the tour after Entwistle died of a massive coke overdose on the eve of the tour ("coke after coke after coke…"). If only the Beatles had been that supportive of each other, Apple records might have made it, and Badfinger might have had more than four good songs. Now, we can only sit and wonder what might have been…
If you combine the collective post-Beatles careers of the Beatles, and compare them to the late-edition Who (let’s say, post 1974), I think the Who’s work stand’s up nicely, especially Townshend’s solo work. Is there anything cooler than the slo-mo entrance sequence to the Eminence Front video? But because the Beatles left the public eye so long ago, and because Lennon died in such a spectacular way, they have become the stuff of legend. Certainly, this is not a point in the Who’s favor; they should have quit long ago, on the original 1982 farewell tour. The end was ugly for Keith Moon and John Entwistle. Townshend is deaf, and looks like Alfred Hitchcock. Daltrey is still Daltrey, only with an even worse voice and without the hair. We tend to compare the current edition "Who" to vintage Beatles, because that’s all there really is. But would that not be an argument in favor of the Who’s workmanlike attitude? As a Beatles fan, weren’t you pissed off that McCartney formed his infernal union with Laine and wasted his sappy talents on Wings, when he could have been helping John avoid his own Yoko Oh, No and Lost Weekend period? Instead, we get Lennon with Harry Nilsson. Nilsson, Schmilsson. Wouldn’t it have just been better for everybody involved if they made a couple more Abbey Roads or White Albums? I’m sure Ringo and George, for whom All Good Albums Had Already Passed, would have gladly come along.
But Who fans didn’t have to suffer that indignity. No! Because the Who put out Who Are You, Face Dances, and It’s Hard, and I think we can all agree that those albums were better than a lot of other albums by some other bands. Case Closed.
Right now, you’re probably asking yourself "But Doug, what does it all mean? How can I help Jim Haefele understand? What about the Kinks?" I don’t have the answers to those questions, and neither does Jim Haefele. We cannot know. All I know is, you’ve been underestimating the Who. I’m not suggesting that you burn your Beatles records or not buy that Caveman DVD you want for Christmas. Just put them away for a little bit, and put on The Who Sell Out, or Live At Leed’s. You’ll be glad you did.
If you haven’t been persuaded by my argument, you should probably click here.
8:21:45 AM 
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