Cold Lampin' With Rael (Brad's Hero)
Time's up...
Well, the nine days have come and gone, and we apparently will not have any independent verification of the Raelians' cloning claim any time soon. This news story went from the front page to the Weekly World News in record time.
It's too bad, in a way. The Raelians prompted some pretty interesting discussions. My friend Brad wondered why so many people who otherwise say they believe in aliens, ghosts, God, or any other number of empirically hazy phenomenon so readily dismiss the Raelians as nuts. It's a good question. If any part of you believes we may not be alone in this world, then wouldn't that same part of you have to hear about the Raelians and wonder if they may not be the real deal?
I countered by saying that although I don't believe we are alone in the world (but have no real reason other than intuition for that belief), I don't believe the Raelians have spoken to aliens. Why? Let's say aliens will contact you tonight, around 11:00 pm. During your meeting with them, they will tell you the secret to human immortality, and that you must spread the word. OK, that's all fine. But don't you think you might wake up tomorrow morning, and realize that although what you have been told is the truth, for beings in spaceships would never lie, that this truth is going to be awfully hard for a lot of people to swallow? Wouldn't some part of you recognize that you are going to be branded a nutcase, and that your message won't reach the proper number of people? You might want something more low-key, without the theme park, the preening, overtanned and underqualified frontwoman, or the bad "Space 1999 meets Flavor Flav" getup.
"But", Brad countered, "whose opinion are you really going to be worried about? Your simple unenlightened human neighbors, or the beings with the spaceship?" I had to admit that Brad had a good point, and I told him so because it had become clear that he himself was a Raelian, and you can't be too careful.
Of course, embryonic cloning is really just a stepping stone to what the Raelians hope to ultimately accomplish, which is to skip the embryo part, and just have a mature physical clone of your body to transplant your memory and thought and consciousness into. Perhaps I can be 20 again. My wife then wondered why, if the Raelians are so danged smart, we have to go into our old bodies at all? Why couldn't the Raelians put my brain into Brad Pitt or Viggo Mortensen's body?, she excitedly posited. Indeed. Perhaps she can be Penelope Cruz or Uma Thurman! We frantically made our way to Hotwire.com to book passes to UFOLand.
The author...
and his wife.
It's all pretty bizarre, in a Being John Malkovich kind of way, but probably a lot less funny. I hope when the aliens come to see me, they don't burden me with spreading the knowledge of human immortality. I'd settle for knowing what deja vu is, or having a decent rotation on my jump shot. And maybe a quick spin on their spaceship...
1:01:44 PM 
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