My Funeral's Going To Kick So Much Ass
Ever wonder what your funeral will be like?
I'm not talking about the "Will my old girlfriends show up and throw themselves at the foot of my casket and lament their foolish decision to catapult me from their lives," kind of wondering.
I'm talking more about the general tenor and mood of the event. I have been to some somber events, let me tell you. Some were somber with heavy religious overtones. Big Heavy Death. Hard to get through, but in most cases, I would say that sort of embodied the lives of the people we were mourning. Serious. Heavy. Others I have been too were somber for different reasons. Children who died far too young; not enough life to celebrate fully. Everybody does the best they can in those cases.
I'm 33 now. I have a wonderful wife and a beautiful little boy and a little girl on the way that I felt kick my hand just last night. I have gone far enough down the road that people could talk about a life lived, and not opportunities missed.
I went to one funeral in particular that stayed with me. I barely knew the person before the service, but I knew a lot more about them afterward. The eulogist told us where the deceased had been on each of his birthdays, all 80+ of them. Something like "From the day of his birth through his 24th birthday, he lived in Kansas, and loved the feel of the air as the thunderstorms rolled in off the high plains." You know, that kind of thing. It was well-written and interesting, and it made a lot of us think about this person's life, but also our own journey. I thought it created a bit of commonality among the mourners, but also brought the deceased's life into some perspective. It had been an ordinary journey by many standards, and yet it was his journey, unique and interesting and real.
What else do I want?
A kick-ass food spread. With cheesecakes. Nobody watches their weight at my funeral. And a milkshake bar. You got a problem with that?
So...Kick ass funeral, huh? Have you tried the malts yet?
Save the flowers. They die. No green plants, either. Somebody has to take care of that shit. Spend the money you would have spent on me on a charity, preferably one that works with kids. Then double the amount you were going to spend.
Wear clothes you are comfortable in. Your formality means nothing to me.
At the after funeral, I want there to be a party. It might not be appropriate to have it around my remaining family, but they should be invited. I'm talking open bar. If you've all got to get off work, you might as well have a good time. Let the stories flow.
Finally, the music. I have enjoyed music for most of my life. It was a common thread through many of my relationships. There will be music. But what do you play? Songs that charged you up and really made you feel alive back in the day? Perhaps, but is Nirvana's "Breed" really going to be appropriate for a service in 30 years?
It's not like you can easily find a song that captures your Philosophy of Life. But I might have found one recently. If I'm in the right mood, this one can bring me to tears. Which is ironic, because I wanted people to be laughing at my service. I guess it's OK to cry during the song, though. It's "Do You Realize", by the Flaming Lips...
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize - Oh - Oh - Oh
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize
And people would hear the songs, eat the food, have the party, tell the stories, and go on and live their lives. Same as it ever was.
12:11:09 PM 
|
