The Coolest Toy In The World
The world changed in 1995. You might have missed it at the time. I know I did; it wasn't until 2002 or so until I figured it out. But now I know:
Buzz Lightyear is the coolest toy in the world. If you want proof, ask my son Linus. He'll tell you. Even better, don't ask him-just eavesdrop on him. At any moment, he might be talking about Buzz Lightyear. Take yesterday, for example: I go to his daycare to pick him up, and there he is, running by himself through the playground. He's in a frenzy, waving his arms as he runs full tilt, and then he screams to no one in particular-"Buzz Lightyear!" My son is a freak, yes, but he's a freak who loves Buzz Lightyear.
And he's not the only one. Just about every kid he knows understands and accepts that Buzz Lightyear is the coolest. He's on their shirts, their pillowcases, their little Buzz-addled minds. And who can blame them? I happen to think Buzz is pretty damn cool, too.
Some disclosure: Before I had a child, I was a staunch anti-Disney person; still am, really. I'm not talking about the old school stuff like Jungle Book or Robin Hood; my ire is more toward The Lion King, or Pocahontas, all that new stuff. Linus still hasn't seen that stuff, and we like it like that for now.
But the Pixar stuff is different. For one thing, it's amazing to look at. For another, it's just too damned clever. There is a scene in Toy Story 2 (a great sequel, BTW), where the evil emperor Zurg is going to finally destroy Buzz Lightyear. He subtly turns to adjust his weapon while Rex the Dinosaur encourages Buzz to fight back, to no avail. Then, Zurg is ready to fire his weapon, and for literally about a half second, you see that Zurg's adjustment to his weapon was to dial it up to 11, a la Spinal Tap. If you don't have the movie on video or DVD, you probably wouldn't see that scene at all. The movie is full of that stuff. I could watch Toy Story, Toy Story 2, or Shrek any time at all.
But I digress. The coolest thing about Buzz Lightyear is that the whole movie exists as a kind of living commercial for him. Buzz does some amazing things, but the catch is, he only does them when you're not looking. What kid doesn't pretend his toys come to life? But with Buzz, you have a vivid portrayal of what he can do, what a swell guy he really is. I wonder if Linus thinks Buzz is flying around the room and talking to Woody when he's not around?
Buzz has buttons, a laser, wings. He has it all. He even has a catchphrase, which I hear Linus say all the time: To Infinity, And Beyond! Which, of course, is funny on a few different levels.
Of course, I resent that Disney has overtaken my son's brain. But at least they did it with one damned cool toy.
9:41:51 AM 
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