Monday, as I picked Linus up from school (we call it a school, but it's really a montessori daycare...), I noticed they had a transcript of their Morning Conversation, which I guess is a new thing they have on Mondays where everyone stands and tells the group what they did that weekend. I imagine it must frequently be hilarious to watch these kids who are just learning their way around words and social interactions stand up and speak about whatever comes to their mind. I'm glad the teachers started to share. Anyway, I see that yesterday, Linus got up and said "I went to the zoo and saw Gorillas, and they were scratching their butt." On the one hand, I think that's pretty dang funny, and can just hear him saying that. On the other hand, he didn't go to the zoo this weekend, and so I am suspicious that he may have made the whole thing up for laughs. It brings up lots of questions for me. Is Linus the class clown at 3 and a half? Did he actually make the story up, or was he confused by the question's time reference? And did he mimic the gorilla's butt-scratching as he told his story?
You have got to love the Portland Trail Blazers. First, Zach Randolph steps in to break up a fight between teammates Qyntel Woods and Ruben Patterson. Randolph did manage to break up the fight, but in the process he also broke up Patterson's face, giving him a fractured eye socket (ouch!). Patterson, speaking to the media after the event, said that he couldn't retaliate at all, since he is on probation for a sexual assault charge against his nanny from last summer. And Woods? He was pulled over for a traffic violation last week, and was cited for marijuana possession (the third "Blazer" to be involved with weed charges this season alone). And get this: When Woods was pulled over, he didn't have a driver's license, because his had been suspended as a result of some trouble he got into back in Tennessee. What did he offer as ID to the cops? Two credit cards and his Topps basketball card, which he carries in his wallet. Somebody should make a movie about the Blazers. Seriously.
So, at my fantasy baseball draft this weekend, an unprecedented thing happened: Somebody passed out. Now understand, although we like to drink a few beers during the draft, nothing like this has ever been close to happening. One minute I look over, and Dave B. is smoking a big stogie, mapping out his plan. 10 minutes later I see that both Dave and his chair are on their sides. He took the whole chair down with him! It was like somebody slipped him a mickey. He was out before 4:00. Still, his roster ended up better than mine.
You know your group is getting old when instead of moaning when the keg runs out, you cheer.
