| |
|
Thursday, July 10, 2003
|
|
Impeach Bush? An Iraq Must-Read
This is the best thing I've read so far regarding the implications of the failure to find WMD, and how to reconcile that with the declarations of the Bush Administration in the months leading up to and after the war in Iraq.
The author is John Dean. Yes, that John Dean, from Watergate. His take? If the WMD aren't found, it means one of two things: One, that there could be a serious intelligence failure and incompetence in the National Security portions of the U.S. Government. This is obviously a very serious problem.
It is also the best case scenario, because the other option is that Bush manipulated the data and findings to engender support for a politically expedient war.
Dean's conclusion? That such an event, if true, would be the worst political scandal in American history. And that it would also potentially be an impeachable offense.
Check it out, and many thanks to new Pipeline reader Stanton S. for the hookup.
3:35:34 PM 
|
|
Peppered With Peppers
Many, many thanks to Loyal Pipeline Reader Scott F. for passing on this wonderful site detailing (and I mean, detailing) all the various Dr. Pepper knock-offs one may find in this great land of ours. My favorite? Hard to say. I guess I'm partial to Dr. Gulpster, but you can't go wrong with a fine choice like Dr. Perky, either.
2:29:54 PM
|
|
Kobe In Trouble
Let's start with what we know: We know that something happened in Vail over the weekend. We know Kobe was there. We know a 19 year-old woman who worked at the resort he was staying at went to the hospital amid claims of an as-yet undetermined sexual assault. We know (if we believe the cab driver) that Kobe also went to the hospital to submit a DNA sample, and then got out of town fast.
Beyond that, we are reading and hearing a lot. But how much do we really know? Very little, really. It's a media trial, so far. It has to be, because no charges have been filed. But there is a lot of talk about "evidence", meaning that there's definitely some smoke here, and probably a little fire, too.
This thing is getting waaay out of hand. You've got jackasses who only know Kobe through the media fronting for him, calling him a hero, starting the "free Kobe" campaign. Like they know what went down. You've got established outlets like ESPN.com and PTI talking about whether an arrest will help Kobes "street cred". I think that's sick.
Never mind that in the midst of all of this, there was a 19 year-old woman who ended up in the hospital, and if our worst thoughts are the true thoughts, her physical injuries may well be the least of her concerns.
Here's the deal: None of us was there, unless my readership extends a LOT farther than I thought it did. We don't know a damn thing about Kobe. We know he's got a wife and a baby and he can speak Italian and he's a badass. You think somebody like that isn't capable of an assault? The people in our own lives shock us, people we know and grew up with and married and loved. You think a media creation won't let you down, too?
And it's working the other way, you bet. You knew the focus was gonna end up on the girl: What kind of girl is she? Was she a stripper? A groupie? How was she dressed? You know the drill. They tell us the facts of her life, and we are left to read between the lines for ourselves to determine guilt. Because these things rarely end up in a real trial. Turns out this girl, according to the family's neighbors interviewed in ESPN.com (everybody's a witness in this trial), comes from a great family.
She sang in the choir (she's religious); she was a cheerleader (she's hot, but we already guessed that); she's "fun-loving and outgoing" (possible Girls Gone Wild material), and "emotional" (unstable, potentially crazy).
Gosh, now what? We all know Kobe's a standup guy, but here's a young girl who loves God and has a steady job and comes from a good family and has neighbors that like her (and your neighbors knew all about the real you, didn't they? Yeah, right.) How are we to tell who's guilty in this crime?
We aren't. We weren't there. It's one thing for me and you and the rest of us schmoes to read through the lines. Why wouldn't we? That's human nature, and to not follow it and form an opinion would be to pretend it didn't exist at all, and that ain't right either. But to hear national media figures and outlets conduct this trial (the trial upon which we depend for material to deconstruct) in public, when they don't know, is so typical, and so wrong.
Kobe's rep vs. the girl's rep. Until the DNA analysis comes back, or we get more facts, that's what this is about. And the way the public and media attention span works, by the time the real truth comes out, we'll have already formed our opinions.
You know Pete Townshend was acquitted, right?
I will say this, just my own take: I've written in this space before about this issue of athletes and sexual charges. It's a tough issue: a lot of these guys are spoiled predators, but they are also targets of a real subculture of people who know how to work the system. Does a 19 year-old girl who had a job at a resort and didn't follow a team or players around sound like the kind of person to be involved in that kind of scheme? Possible. But likely?
Does that mean Kobe raped her? Does it mean things were consensual, and then a line got crossed? Does it mean that she's imagining things because she is "emotional", as ESPN reported? We don't know.
We only know that a young woman is in the hospital, and Kobe Bryant felt the need to go give a DNA test that same night. We know there is evidence, but no charges yet.
And that's all we know. That's it. It ain't enough for a verdict in any court, legal or public opinion.
But that hasn't stopped the media from working the juries, has it?
11:30:25 AM
|
|
The Next Crappy Rockets Logo
The Houston Rockets have unveiled a new logo for the 67th time in franchise history. Inevitably, sports marketers were a significant part of the decision. Sports marketing is a wonderfully absurd little creation, taking the hilarity and vapidness of regular marketing to competitive levels. Read the following quote from a Sports Marketer to get a sense of what I mean:
"They are obviously trying to make a statement in the use of this graphic," said Paul Swangard, managing director of The Warsaw Sports Marketing Center at the University of Oregon. "On the surface I can see it having the brand equities of the Rockets. The name 'Rocket,' I can see that in there. I can see the upward movement of a team on the rise and a spacey connotation to it."
Ugh. What a jackass that guy is. The only statement the Rockets are trying to make with this logo is "This one really tested out great in our focus groups, and we are going to sell a lot of merchandise this year." That's it. That's the statement.
Swangard goes on to tell us what it all means, "on the surface". He notes that it has all the brand equities of the Rockets. What the fuck does that mean? You're telling me that they are "capturing their brand image" by using the team name in the logo? Yeah, and I'm caputuring all my brand equities by wearing a nametag that has my name on it!
Swangard then goes deeper, telling us how he can see it all going up into space. Just like the team! Brilliant.
I'd love to hear this guy break down the other team logos.
Swangard on the Wolves: "Oh, the Timberwolves are making a very strong statement here. They are saying 'Look at us! We're big, bigger than the trees! And we are hungry, with a very red tongue. Don't get too close! We might bite you! Grrrr.' I think that's the statement they are making. It's powerful. Of course, the symbolism goes deeper. Kevin Garnett is represented by the Big Wolf. The two big trees are Kevin McHale and Flip Saunders. And the four little trees have meaning, too. Three represent the lost draft picks from the Joe Smith fiasco, while the fourth tree represents the draft pick they will trade in an ill-advised deal in the next two years. And I can see the name 'Timberwolves' in there, so they are really protecting their brand equity and image."
Swangard on the Celtics: "Oh, here is a classic logo. The Celtics are making an aggressive statement here, which is: 'Look, I'm a drunk Irishman who dresses like a stereotype and walks with a cane.' Of course, the real symbolism goes deeper, and is a tip o'the shanty to long-time Celtics fans. Notice the man is walking-That's a nod to Celtics star Antoine Walker. But, if you look closely, you'll see that the cane is really a bong, which is a nod to the NBA's rampant drug use. And look at the sideburns and bowtie. It says 'We are a franchise that cares about style and tradition', while the pipe the logo is smoking is really an olive branch to older fans of the team, who are more likely to identify with a Fred MacMurray-type pipe smoking character from 'My Three Sons'. This logo is also revolutionary, in that it is the first logo to use "scratch-and-sniff" technology. If you scratch the little Irishman, he'll smell like a wonderful mix of Boston Baked Beans candy, Lobster, and beer. And, I can see the name 'Celtics' in there, I really can. That helps to protect their brand equity."
Finally, Swangard on the Wizards: "I was really blown away by the synergy this logo represents. First, they have reinvented the basketball as a moon, as if to say 'We are not of this planet. We are heavenly.' Of course, the moon also has a practical application as well. Every fan knows that there is far less gravity on the moon. As a result, players could jump impossibly high there by Earth standards. When the fans see their beloved Wizards players, like Jahidi White, elevate (or 'take off', to keep the metaphor intact) they might think to themselves: 'How did he jump so high? It is as though he is defying gravity!', and then the fan will see the logo, and see the moon, and they will indeed buy in to the notion that these players really are defying gravity. That's powerful. What's more, notice that the wizard in the logo bears a shocking resemblance to Gandalf, of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. That's no accident, my friend. Our focus groups have shown that people of all income stratas identify very strongly with Gandalf as a saviour figure. You might have noticed that other product faces like Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and Chester Cheetah have also recently been remade to conjure images of Gandalf. It always tests out very well. And note that Gandalf is bringing his 'A' game, too. He's putting a nasty finger-roll on with one hand, while putting a spell or something on an opponent with his 'off' hand. The kids know: Gandalf Got Game. And, I can see the name 'Wizards' in there. That's so important for brand equity."
10:21:56 AM
|
|
|
© Copyright 2003 Doug Hennessee.
Last update: 8/1/2003; 1:13:18 PM.
|
|
|
