Monday, September 29, 2003

The Seer Sees: .500 Know this: NFL Sunday Ticket is a beautiful thing.  Friend of Pipeline Chris Z. has the Ticket, and he's not afraid to use it.  The Ticket is the foundation for the Ideal Sunday, which seems to go like this at the Z Household: Wake up, put on sweat suit, sit down, tell son and his friends to walk dogs, watch games, go to bed.  All the Seer needs to make that a reality is the NFL Season Ticket, another dog, and some friends for Son of Seer.  We all have to have something to strive for, don't we? The NFL is perfect, for this reason: It's a short season.  Everything gets crammed into 16 games, meaning that each individual game is literally 10 times more important than a baseball game, given baseball's 162-game schedule.  NFL games are five times more important than NBA games.  And the playoffs?  Forget about a best-of series.  One game.  Winner moves on.  Loser goes home.  That's why there is so much hype over the NFL, and because the season is short, the hype can be sustained, unlike March during the NBA season, which is awful for even a die-hard hoops fan. The Ticket allowed the Seer to witness the last few minutes of an entertaining Jaguars/Texans contest, as well as large parts of every other early game.  It was one helluva lot of fun. For the week, not counting tonight's gimmie, the Seer finished 5-5.  Given the lack of good vibrations the Seer felt going in, we consider this a supreme victory.  What did we learn? We learned that, just as Bill Simmons counseled in his own column, picking the Cardinals on the road is a bad, bad idea.  They are inconsistent and bad, which means that they'll get huge lines all year, and beat the spread more than they should.  The Cardinals are gambling death this year, I feel it.  The Rams?  They had guys step in and perform, but how good are they against a real team?  Another hard to figure team. The Seer Saw: Cardinals beating the 10.5 spread The Seer Was: Wrong! We learned that the Vikings are Damn Good.  Call it a statement game, call it a game against an overrated and imploding 49ers team, call it whatever you want, but they manhandled the 49ers in a way that is hard to just write off if you're a Niners player or fan.  The Vikings did this without their starting QB or HB.  They have Atlanta next week.  5-0?  This game wasn't on the board at the time we picked, which is good.  We would have been wrong. We learned that Tennessee is just solid.  They own Pittsburgh now.  McNair just makes big plays, over and over again.  Was the loss at Indy just a bad game?  Hard to say, but this team looks tough now. The Seer Saw: Titans beating the 3 point spread The Seer Was: Right! The Redskins might just be for real, but it's hard to say.  The Patriots were awfully banged-up defensively, and this game still went right down to the wire.  Still, the Skins are finding ways to win. The Seer Saw: Patriots beating the 1.5 spread The Seer Was: Wrong! The Texans and Jags played a great game, or at least a great finish.  Personally, I think the Texans going for it at the end was dumb.  You've got a rookie QB on the road, wouldn't OT seem to favor you substantially?  Still, a big call, and a smart play.  Where was the linebacker for the Jags to guard against that dive? The Seer Saw: Texans beating the 3 point spread The Seer Was: Right! The Eagles finally got sharp QB play, and now that Bills bandwagon is slowing a bit, huh?  HUGE win for Philly.  Saved the season.  Buffalo was hurt by Travis Henry's absence, and with both Henry and Willis McGahee possibly available later in the year, this is going to be an interesting Bills team to watch. The Seer Saw: Bills covering the 3 point spread The Seer Was: Wrong! The Bengals finally broke through, and the Browns still can't score much.  This Browns team is stinky.  How much import can their win over the 49ers have, now that we have seen what an abyss that team is in? The Seer Saw: The Bengals beating the 5.5 point spread The Seer Was: Right! The Chiefs and Ravens played a tight defensive game that was broken open when mighty-mite Dante Hall ran a kick back with about 5:00 to go in the game.  In a defensive game like that, that late in the game, you knew that was the ballgame.  What a force Hall is.  A hot kick returner is one of the more exciting things in sports, if you ask the Seer.  And Dante is...I don't even have to say it, do I? The Seer Saw: The Chiefs covering the 3 point spread The Seer Was: Right! The Raiders struggled mightily until the end, when they finally topped the Chargers on an OT field goal.  The Raiders still look old to me, and they are winning some games over lame teams (Bengals, Chargers) by a whisker, while getting waxed (Broncos) and beaten up (Titans) by good teams in their losses.  For an aging team, that's not a good sign. The Seer Saw: Raiders covering the 6.5 point spread The Seer Was: Wrong! The Jets have hit Rock Bottom, and Tuna beats yet another former team with his up-and-coming Cowboys.  This wasn't even a game, really.  Frankly, you have to wonder: Was Chad Pennington so good that he would have turned all this around?  I don't think so.  This Jets team is bereft of talent, and Herm Edwards is looking like a lost coach these days. The Seer Saw: Cowboys beating the 3 point spread The Seer Was: Right! The Panthers smacked around the Atlanta Falcons, 23-3.  Seriously, here's another example of a team that has its hopes pinned on one player.  And Michael Vick is a very good player, potentially a great player.  But after seeing the Vikings take the field with Gus Frerotte, and then wipe up the 49ers, you have a little less sympathy for the plights of teams like the Jets and Falcons, who just don't seem to have enough talent across the board.  Carolina's D continues to look scary... The Seer Saw: Panthers cover the 6 point spread The Seer Was: Right! The Lions gave Denver a strong fight before finally falling 20-16.  There is speculation that the Broncos were looking ahead to next week's mega-match against the Chiefs, and that seems plausible enough.  But the Seer still doesn't trust Jake Plummer. The Seer Saw: Broncos covering the 13 point spread The Seer Was: Wrong! And, finally, the Colts humiliated the Saints at home.  The Saints were missing five starters on D, but it didn't matter.  The Colts just lambasted them, and the Saints offense was far more inept than it had any right to be.  Bill Simmons was right: Stay away from the Saints.  And the Colts?  God, they looked good.  Maybe too good.  I have no idea what that means.  It was like a Minnesota Golden Gophers non-conference game.  Total Rout.  Now the Colts have beaten up on Tennessee and the Saints, two decent to good teams, and they ground out wins against the Jags and Browns.  I'm starting to believe. The Seer Saw: The Saints beating the 1.5 point spread The Seer Was: Very Wrong! There you have it, 5-5 on Sunday, and a game to go tonight.  Hope you had a nice weekend.   2:04:04 PM    Say what?[]

Fine Print It's the lazy writer's refuge, and everybody who cranks out the column inches, real or virtual, resorts to it sooner or later: The Notes Column.  You know what I mean, those columns that lack no coherent theme, and less preparation.  They are collections of meandering thoughts, things written in a notebook or on a napkin and filed away.  Every locale and outlet has them.  In the Twin Cities, it's Sid Hartman and Charley Walters.  Bill Simmons does it, and calls it The Ramblings.  Jayson Stark on ESPN?  Rumbling and Grumbling.  There are others, possibly even others called "Fine Print", which is the name Pipeline has chosen after 30 seconds of careful consideration, narrowly edging out "Shit I Think About". Anyway, the Fine Print... This Wilsongate thing is taking on major steam.  Pipeline just learned the down and dirty last week in reading TPM's interview with Ambassador Joseph Wilson, and it seems that now the major outlets are catching wind of the story.  Hyperbole did a great write-up on it today, so I'll just refer you there for the catch-up.  If you want to stay abreast of this story, it sure seems like Talking Points Memo is the place to go.  Josh Marshall's even doing some speculative sleuthing on who the leaks might be.  Fun stuff, as long as it's not your CIA cover that's been blown... The StarTribune had an amazing story yesterday about a man who has stuttered his whole life, and finally just decided to more or less stop talking to people because it was easier that way.  Then, he was fitted with a small device that fits in his ear, which plays back what he says at a slightly different register, fooling his brain into thinking that he is speaking in unison with someone else.  This is known as the Choral Effect, and it is why some stutterers are able to sing or recite things without problems, as long as other people are saying the words with them.  Now, the man, after years of silence, is talking everybody's ear off.  Two things of note in the article are that there is an American Stuttering Association, which I didn't know, and that the device that the man is using is controversial, because there is no scientific proof that it works, and it's not a curative measure.  Look, if I'm the stutterer, and it works for me, I don't give a damn if they've done studies or not, or that the effect might be temporary.  Even if this guy's respite from his impediment is temporary, I'll bet he's still glad for whatever time he has to speak freely... Hey, it turns out the Patriot Act is being used in lots of cases not related to terrorism.  I'm completely shocked.  It's noteworthy that John Ashcroft has taken to public stumping to rally support around the Patriot Act, but that he really isn't speaking to the public at all.  His audiences have been largely law enforcement organizations, a sympathetic audience to be sure.  And the Ashcroft Freedom Tour apparently only gives scant advance information on his appearances, which lessens the media's access to him... It was a tough weekend for celebrities in their battle to stay alive.  First, George Plimpton, who wrote the wonderful bogus Sidd Finch story for SI in the '80s that had me completely hoodwinked and trying a super high leg kick on my pitching delivery moments after reading it.  Then, Robert Palmer, whose musical career covered many variations, but who declined to perform with the Power Station during Live Aid because of a violent backstage altercation with Phil Collins, who was to play skins for the famous appearance instead of regular drummer Tony Thompson.  Palmer's well-known enmity for Collins went way back, to when Palmer and Collins (and Rod Stewart and Pete Best) were trying out to be the new singer for Genesis after Peter Gabriel's departure, a battle which was obviously won by the smarmy and short Collins.  Upon hearing that the smug Collins would be playing drums at the Live Aid appearance, Palmer went into a rage.  He fumed for about 20 minutes while waiting for the prima donna-ish Collins to get off the Concorde, but once Collins arrived in his trademark fur coat and 10 gallon cowboy hat, their row began in earnest.  Several haymakers were thrown as they rolled on the ground backstage, with Palmer getting the best of the diminutive and cunning Collins.  Finally, the fight was broken up by David Bowie, Robert Plant and that guy from the Hooters who played that stupid mouth-piano thing called a melodica, although sources insist that Bowie and Plant gratuitously punched Collins a few times in the melee, unbeknownst to the conniving little chart-topper until years later.  Palmer, held back by Bob Geldoff and Chrissie Hynde, spat in Collins' face as Allison Moyet restrained him, and told him that Genesis was so much better back when they were a prog rock band.  Storming off to his waiting helecopter, he flung the microphone to a waiting Michael Des Barres, and said: "You're on!"  The rest, as they say, was musical history.  The irony, of course, is that Collins ended up playing drums instead for the Led Zeppelin appearance, and save for Palmer, it was the Original Power Station that went on at Live Aid.  So long, Robert Palmer. And then Donald O'Conner died.  "Who?" asked Jane.  "Donald O'Conner!", I cried out.  "Singin' In The Rain?  Francis the Talking Mule?  Odor Eaters?  Hello!"  Blank stare. And in today's news, Althea Gibson has died.  A true pioneer. And I can see them all there, in Heaven's Waiting Room: Cash, Ritter, Gibson, Palmer, Plimpton, O'Conner, and McCarthy tool name namer Elia Kazan.  All sitting there.  Waiting.  Cash and Palmer start singing a little number.  Ritter and Gibson work up a routine where Gibson pretends to hit Ritter with her racket, and then Ritter falls into a O'Conner, who was doing a dance number to Ritter and Cash's song.  Kazan thinks they're all Communists, and Plimpton just sits there and takes it all in, writing a bang-up story about it that none of us will get to read... Did anyone see the North Korean rhetoric over the weekend, where they called Donald Rumsfeld "a psychopath who is near death?"  This on the heels of calling U.S. envoy John Bolton "a psychotic sociopath", as Pipeline wrote about a few months ago.  Why hasn't Hollywood caught on to this goldmine yet?  You think movies were great when we had the Red Menace of the U.S.S.R.?  Every plotline from that era needs to be resurrected with a North Korean nemesis.  The dialogue would just be too great.  Chris Z., friend of Pipeline, notes that he thinks maybe the North Koreans don't understand the language well enough to know what they are really saying.  I'm not sure I agree at all, but I like the mental image: "What?  We thought being called psychopath was a good thing.  No wonder the U.S. has not been responding to the great Psychopath Olive Branch Of Peace!"  What do we have to do to get the North Koreans a daily column in one of our major papers?  Their honesty and gift of description is compelling in any language... 1:09:28 PM    Say what?[]

© Copyright 2003 Doug Hennessee. Last update: 9/30/2003; 11:51:56 AM.