Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Sometimes I Wear Women's Clothes Yes, it's true, but only certain sweaters.  Jane and I are roughly the same size, and she has a lot of nice sweaters that are indistinguishable as men's or women's attire, and so I wear her sweaters.  She doesn't like it much, but we have a small house and there's nowhere for her to hide them that I won't find them. Today I tried a new one on.  It's from Land's End.  It's a black turtleneck sweater.  But it's one of those turtlenecks that has the big floppy extended collar, which I think probably means it is exclusively for women to wear, but I wasn't sure, and so I wore it.  It looked fine in the dark this morning, but now, not so much.  I have no idea how to properly fold the collar, and so it looks like I'm wearing a giant floppy tire tread around my neck.  Was it just my imagination, or was everyone in the cafeteria staring at me?  I stood by the shower for an extra long time as I said goodbye to Jane this morning, hoping she would say something about how to fold the collar.  She said nothing.  Did she not notice, or was that her way of getting back at me for purloining her sweaters?  Tomorrow, I'll wear the brown sweater with the normal collar. 1:59:56 PM    Say what?[]

Priorities Minnesota schools are projected to endure $133 million in budget cuts this coming year.  Minnesota, due to program cuts, has plummeted from 4th to 29th in a ranking of early child care subsidies, behind such noted childcare luminary states as Mississippi.  The Vikings and Twins both want new stadiums, at a total projected cost of $1.135 billion dollars.  That's "billion", with a B.  Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty, however, has a no-tax-hike pledge, and so his stadium commission suggested that city and county taxes be used to fund the stadiums.  Then the suggested that no referendums be put forth on the measure, because citizens would vote them down.  Wonder why... The Minnesota Taxpayers League is pushing for a constitutional amendment to severely restrict state spending. The main issues for the current Minnesota legislative session are an attempt to enact Constitutional Amendments banning gay marriage and allowing the Death Penalty. I wonder what it's like to live in a state without the grand liberal tradition of Minnesota? 12:39:06 PM    Say what?[]

Stupor Tuesday John Kerry seems to have as much of a lock on the Democratic nomination as he can without actually being named as the nominee.  He won big in key swing states like Missouri and Arizona, and he couldn't have been expected to win in Carolina or Oklahoma anyway, two states the Dems aren't likely to carry come November anyway. I don't know how I feel about it, really.  I think Kerry's a good candidate, would make a fine President, and can beat Bush.  But I can't help but feel that Edwards would have a much better chance of beating Bush. The die is not yet cast, but it's pretty damn close.  Here's what we do know: Lieberman is done.  Friend of Pipeline Brad T. and I were at a bar (Fabulous Fern's) last night dividing our attention between the Wolves game and the CNN election returns.  There was a large crowd of Edwards supporters there who gave up a great cheer when Lieberman dropped out.  Kick the man while he's down. Dean is done, or at least he should be.  Here's my question: If you're one of the many, many people who gave money to Dean, and in some cases multiple contributions, aren't you more than a little pissed about how they mismanaged their funds?  Not exactly a great talking point for a guy who wants to get us out of a deficit, either. Is Clark done?  I don't know.  I don't see the value in his continuing, but I wonder if he might play a role as a VP or in some other function.  What would that function be, though?  Finally, Edwards.  He did just well enough to stay alive, but something dramatic needs to happen, and fast, for him to keep this a two-man race.  Does having Edwards as the VP really strengthen the ticket for Kerry?  If it's not enough to pull some southern states, I'm not sure that it does.  Clark, on the other hand, might potentially be able to deliver some states, and some hardened war wisdom, that Edwards can't.  I'm a big believer in Edwards' charisma, but that advantage is somewhat mooted in a VP role, isn't it?  Donkey Rising has some interesting numbers up today, regarding how Edwards fared with independents.  I'm not sure how that translates as a VP, though, and those independents alone aren't going to be enough to secure the delegates for Edwards.  He has to find a way to steal the presumption that Kerry has of being the nominee.  And when there are a lot of recent polls out showing Kerry in a dead heat with Bush, I think that's going to be tough to do. 12:09:37 PM    Say what?[]

Happy Valentine's Day, from the Hulk! I Choo, Choo, Choose You I've never been much for Valentine's Day (VD).  I think it's mostly a conspiracy of the candy and greeting card corporate interests, and the jewelry stores probably don't mind it too much, either.  I get a bit of a reprieve from Valentine's Day duties as an adult, because my wife Jane's birthday is February 13th, and so any celebration can reasonably be rolled into her birthday festivities.  This year, I'm going to overdose on Cialis on the evening of the 12th, so I can make sure to "cover" both days.  If I'm lucky, I'm might even be able to make it to my dad's birthday on the 16th. I'm not sure where my reticence for VD comes from, but I always remember feeling that it was all just a bit too much, even during grade school.  It just seemed wrong, every time.  There we were, in kindergarten, and on this one particular day we were told to send out little personalized notes to everybody in the class with little hearts on them telling them how much we liked them.  Huh?  The first and most obvious problem with this was that no kid in history ever liked all the other kids in their class.  Impossible.  You're telling me that I'm supposed to give Smelly Leona a valentine with a heart on it that says I think she's great?  What if the other kids find out? And so, you'd go through your little store-bought valentines to find the one that's least suggestive, and that was the one Smelly Leona got.  Poor Smelly Leona.  Kids can be so cruel, and for whatever reason some kids just don't fit in.  All Valentine's Day does is exacerbate that for them.  Why not just shine a big spotlight on Smelly Leona's noticeably-less-full valentine basket, while all the kids make faces as they approach her desk?  Of course, it works the other way, too.  Every year from first grade onward I made sure to save the most suggestive, biggest Valentine I had for Diana Barraclough.  She always got two pieces of candy from me, too.  Unfortunately, I was pretty much Ralph Wiggum to her Lisa Simpson; I was always checking for her valentine to me to reveal some hidden message of her affections for me.  I think one year she gave me a valentine with a duck on it that said, "I think you're just ducky!  You quack me up!"  At least she signed it, though.  I wouldn't be surprised if I made quacking noises to her for the rest of the school year, but I really can't remember because I have repressed all of that. Valentine's Day is largely unchanged from all of that, I think, except now the store-bought valentines are much more commercially linked with popular kid products and movie characters.  Linus is in the process of personally signing all of his valentines.  He's doing this of his own volition; I guess he likes to be prepared ahead of time.  This year he chose Power Ranger valentines, but I have no idea why.  I don't know that he's ever seen that show.  He even chose them over Finding Nemo, Spider Man and Lord of the Rings valentines.  I would have put the odds of him making that choice at somewhere near 0%, but child-love apparently works in strange and unpredictable ways.  Don't you just think Gollum would make the best valentine?  "Be My Precious!" Yesterday I happened to be in Target, and I saw something that completely cracked me up--Incredible Hulk valentines.  They just have this huge, green glowering cartoon Incredible Hulk on them.  Now, these are perfect for boy-to-boy valentine giving.  Instead of feeling a bit odd about giving your best buddies a heart-festooned pink and red number, you can both share something you really believe in.  (A sidenote: I'm not saying it's healthy that young boys should feel awkward about expressing innocent affection through the giving of pink trinkets and whatnot.  At Linus' age, it probably never crosses their minds at all.  All I know is that I felt weird about it from, say, first grade on up.  If I had been able to give little testosterone Hulk valentines, I would have felt a lot better about it all.) The thing is, the Hulk valentines are going to go over like a poopy diaper when he gives them to the girls.  Can you imagine their reaction when they go into their little valentine box and get these things?  "Roaargh!  Don't make me angry, ___Sally___!  You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!  Be my Valentine!"--signed, Linus. It just won't work.  No wonder those girls think the boys are all icky and weird.  Kids need to go with an overall favorite like Finding Nemo.  Everybody loves that damn little clown fish.  Better yet, the enterprising young boy or girl will get two sets of valentines.  The girl will send Barbie valentines to all the other girls, as a show of girlish solidarity, while simultaneously sending the boys the NASCAR valentines, to show that she's down with them, too.  Of course, that's fraught with peril if you get them mixed up and the boys get Barbie and the girls get NASCAR, but maybe a little gender confusion is a good thing at that age.  And if all else fails, good candy pretty much means nobody will pay attention to the valentine at all. 11:39:25 AM    Say what?[]

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