Friday, September 24, 2004

I Said Goodbye To My Past In The Target Parking Lot   I moved to Minnesota for love in the summer of 1993.  Love, and a few other things.  Like, desperation.  My relationship with my girlfriend at the time was deteriorating in ways that I couldn’t understand or face up to, but I knew it was going bad all the same.  I thought maybe being in the same state and city might fix what ailed us, but it only took about two weeks to see that wasn’t going to be the case.   Well, it would have taken a rational person two weeks to see it.  Since I was far from rational at the time, it took me about 10 months.   Despite painful moments, our breakup was mostly amicable.  We moved on.  It wasn’t long before I met Jane, and I never looked back.    Over time, my ex and I reestablished contact.  We would see each other out and about in St. Paul.  We’d stop and talk, a couple times we even went out to lunch to catch up with each other.  Once, Jane and I even went to a play that my ex was starring in.  It was “Extremities”, and it required some nudity on the part of my ex.  I must tell you that it is very awkward to sit in an audience with your current girlfriend while your ex-girlfriend is topless on a stage.  At least I wasn’t putting bills into her g-string for lapdances.   My ex ended up meeting a guy she loved and felt comfortable with, and I was happy to hear it.  She had gone through a horrific, abuse-filled childhood, and it made me happy to see her happy.  She met my son Linus a couple of times, and I think it made her happy to see me so happy.   We were not meant to be together.  I was someone else when I was with her.  I don’t know who I was, exactly, but I wasn’t me.  I never could have understood that at the time it was happening; only after I spent time on my own, and then with Jane, did I really understand why it never could have worked between us.   I bumped into my ex earlier this summer, at Target.  I was there with Jane, Linus and Lily, whom my ex had never met.  We made some small talk, and then she told me how she had tried to contact me because she was moving to Boston with her husband.  We both knew this was a lie; she was the master of staying out of touch.  I wished her luck, and we each went our separate ways to finish our shopping.   As we pulled out of the parking lot, I saw her loading her bags into the back of her car.  And I knew: That was the last time I was going to see her.    It’s fine.  We didn’t have any real connection anymore.  We invited each other to our weddings, but neither of us went.  A show of respect for our past connections, I suppose.  We ended up knowing enough about how each of our lives turned out to know that we had survived our coming together and breaking apart, and that we each found what we were looking for in other people.    Life is weird.  You meet people, you change your life for them, you become who you are for having met them, and then they end up as historical footnotes to your life, closed out with an innocuous goodbye at Target.  We both knew that was the last we’d see of each other, but what do you say?  Have a good life?   Have a good life, M. 6:09:17 PM    Say what?[]

Better Vision   Last week was tough for the Seer, as the NFL kicked us around like a three-legged ninja.  As a result, the Seer is scaling it back on the commentary.  It’s one thing to go 5-11 (1-2 on the money picks), but another to waste 2000 words doing it.  I can’t get behind that.   The Picks:   Pittsburgh @ Miami, Miami by 1   Awful game.  Pittsburgh starts a rookie QB, Miami starts a bad QB.  At least the Steelers have a running game.   The Seer Sees: Steelers beat the spread     Jacksonville @ Tennessee, Tennessee by 6   The Seer Sees: Tennessee covers     Cleveland @ New York Giants, Giants by 3   Cleveland can’t be as bad as they looked last week, and the Giants can’t be as good.   The Seer Sees: Cleveland beats the spread     Baltimore @ Cincinnati, Baltimore by 2.5   The Seer Sees: Baltimore covers     Houston @ Kansas City, Kansas City by 7.5   Must-win game for the Chiefs, but no Priest Holmes.  This spread is too big.   The Seer Sees: Texans beat the spread     New Orleans @ St. Louis, St. Louis by 7   The Seer Sees: Rams cover     Chicago @ Minnesota, Minnesota by 9   Don’t bet against the Vikings at home.  Ever.   The Seer Sees: Vikings cover     Philadelphia @ Detroit, Philadelphia by 4.5   The Seer Sees: Lions beat the spread     Arizona @ Atlanta, Atlanta by 10   The Seer Sees: Atlanta covers     San Diego @ Denver, Denver by 10   The Seer Sees: Denver covers     Green Bay @ Indianapolis, Indianapolis by 6   Favre struggles in domes, as everyone knows, but the Colts’ secondary is waiting to be exposed.   The Seer Sees: Packers beat the spread     San Francisco @ Seattle, Seattle by 10   The Seer Sees: San Francisco beats the spread     Tampa Bay @ Oakland, Oakland by 3   The Seer Sees: Oakland covers     Dallas @ Washington, Washington by 1.5   The Seer Sees: Dallas beats the spread     The money picks: Tennessee, Denver, Cleveland 6:06:55 PM    Say what?[]

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