Another Last Minute Costume
For years, Friends of Pipeline Cliff and Kari provided one of the great (and later in life, only) parties of the year on Halloween. Full costumes are encouraged. Unfortunately, most years this meant Jane and I throwing some haphazard thing together at the very last minute.
One year we went to Axman Surplus and came away with full surgeon gear. That was the year Friend of Pipeline Brad T. thought it would be a hoot to spray my surgical scrubs with about a pound of ketchup while at the party. OK, so maybe a little bit got onto the couch I was sitting on, too. It was still hilarious--to Brad. Jane laughed, too. I didn't think it was so funny. But all turned out well enough in the end, as we're pretty sure that was the night Linus was conceived. If I remember right, Jane insisted I keep my surgical scrubs on throughout the night, as she loves a man in uniform.
One year I made a fake bomb and strapped it to my chest. It was a pretty good fake bomb, if I do say so myself. Had a digital timer and everything. I won the costume contest that year because mine was the bomb.
Another year me, Jane, Brad, Katy, and some English guy Brad knew went as a Royal Flush. Somehow Brad had access to these card suits that just fit over our bodies. They were very well done, much better than I could have done. In fact, they were so well done that we sort of stood out. Not only that, they were incredibly unwieldy, forcing us to turn sideways each time we walked through a door. No children were conceived that night.
Then there was the year I went as a woman. I thought I looked pretty good. Jane had a nice leopard print dress that really accentuated my thighs.
There has been no party the last couple of years, as Cliff and Kari had their own little girl, Ida. But this Saturday, the Halloween party is back in business. (Ida has a smart leather beanie with little silver rivets on it; she's going to go to the party as Rob Halford this year.) But once again, I'm left without an obvious costume.
Here's my idea: I'm going to go as Mary Cheney. I already have the dress and an I LOVE BUSH! button. I'm not saying it's my best idea. I just don't have anything else, and the time is drawing near. I don't want to spend a lot of money on a costume, and I don't really have any other ideas. Besides, Mary Cheney is perfect. It's timely, it's political, it's controversial, and it's going to be funny. Some would say going as Mary Cheney is in poor taste. I disagree, but even more than that, I don't care. Nobody should be on their best behavior for Halloween.
8:38:50 AM 
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