The Top Five Reasons
Yesterday I was channel surfing and decided to stop on 57. Good old 57, otherwise known as ESPNClassic. It was a commercial, but I could tell it was the last commercial before going back to the program, whatever that was. The commercial ended, then a garish faux stadium-themed set appeared on the screen. One of the Familiar But Not Famous ESPN talking heads eased into view and said these exact words: "Hello, and welcome back to 'The Top Five Reasons Why You Can't Blame Don Denkinger For the Cardinals Losing the 1985 World Series.'"
Now, two things. First of all, I'm certain we all agree it would be virtually impossible to keep a straight face while walking smoothly onto a set and saying "Hello, and welcome back to 'The Top Five Reasons Why You Can't Blame Don Denkinger For the Cardinals Losing the 1985 World Series.'"
Second thing, I lived the 1985 World Series. You remember that, right? The I-70 Series? I guess most of the country thought it was a dud, but seeing as how I grew up in Topeka, on I-70, genuflecting on the glory of George Brett and the Royals, the 1985 World Series was a matter of some importance to me to then, and still it is to this day. It is one of only three times in my life when "my team" won it all, the others being KU's NCAA Men's Basketball title in 1988 and the TecmoBowlathon in 1992. So the subject of Don Denkinger, and whether he is to blame for the Cardinals losing the 1985 World Series is of some interest, and I was quite satisfied that an entire half hour had been devoted to my penultimate moment of adolescent fandom.
See, Cardinals fans would have you believe that the entire series was lost on Denkinger's famously blown call at first base in the bottom of the ninth inning of Game 6 in Kansas City. With no outs, Jorge Orta appeared to be out by a half step on a play at first base, but Denkinger called him safe. There was a lot of movement around the base by the fielders on the call, and perhaps Denkinger got confused. The replays sure didn't make Denkinger look good, but I've seen some angles that make it appear much closer. But whatever. He blew the call, and now the Royals had a runner on first and nobody out, instead of one out and nobody on.
Several miraculous events then transpired, and the Royals ended up winning the game on Dane Iorg's blooper down the right field line, very similar to Gene Larkin's hit that ended the 1991 World Series. The Cardinals left the field convinced they had just been robbed of a World Series title, and now they had to face surprisingly live-armed 20 year old Bret Saberhagen in a Game 7 in Kansas City. The Cardinals were sending their own ace to the mound, 21 game winner John Tudor. If the Cardinals would be able to bounce back from Denkinger's blown call, it promised to be a great seventh game.
It was never close. Early in the game, Darryl Motley launched a long drive down the left field line that went barely foul, then hit the very next pitch about 10 feet deeper and farther to the right for a three run home run, and the Royals never looked back. The Cardinals quickly unraveled in one of the most unprofessional displays of unprofessionalism I have ever seen. John Tudor punched a fan in the clubhouse after he was removed from the game, and he had to be taken to the hospital. Viewers learned this during an in-game, in dugout interview with a seething Whitey Herzog, the Cardinal manager who had been the skipper on the powerhouse KC teams of the late '70s. Whitey said Tudor "lost his temper and punched a fan", and I thought they meant he had punched a fan, like a spectator. This made me hate John Tudor. He doesn't come into our house and start punching us! Soon, I figured out he punched an air-generating fan, but by then it was too late and I hated John Tudor forever after that.
The Royals ended up winning 11-0, George Brett finally had a world title, Bret Saberhagen won the Cy Young Award and immediately went into Party Mode, and the Royals never saw the postseason again. And Cardinals fans never forgave Denkinger.
What are the top five reasons you can't blame Don Denkinger for the Cardinals losing the 1985 World Series?
5. Vince Coleman's freak tarp injury. Coleman, the league's most dangerous basestealer in a speed-crazy era, was out for the series after having his leg mangled by a mechanical tarp that had inadvertently been started. The fastest man in the league got run over by something that barely moves 1 mph. Coleman was the Cardinals' catalyst, a rookie who managed 110 stolen bases. With Coleman out of the lineup, the Cardinals struggled to score all postseason.
4. The collapse of the Cardinals defense in the 9th inning of Game 6. Many things happened after Denkinger's call, including a dropped foul popup by the first base line, the result of a miscommunication between Darrell Porter and Jack Clark (go figure). That was followed by Porter giving Cardinals closer Todd Worrell the secret sign to throw a slider instead of a fastball. Problem was, the secret sign was for Porter to wipe his face through his mask, which Porter did in fact do, but only to wipe sweat off his brow. Sufficiently crossed-up Porter couldn't handle Worrell's slider any better than Royal hitters could, and a passed ball ensued. Then there was Iorg's hit to right, Van Slyke's throw to Porter, who didn't do a particularly great job of blocking the plate. You might notice, as Bob Costas does in some of the show's commentary, that Darrell Porter played a key role in three of those things happening.
3. Tom Lasorda and Tom Niedenfuer. The gist of this reason was that Lasorda had basically gift-wrapped the NL Pennant for the Cardinals with a highly suspect decision to have Niedenfuer pitch to Jack Clark in the NLCS. Lasorda claims to have visited the mound with the specific instructions to not throw Clark a fastball, a perfectly reasonable request given Jack Clark's abilities and the fact that first base was open. But hey, he's Lasorda, he's a genius, right? I remember watching what happened next on television at my friend Jo's house. Lasorda got back to the dugout, turned around, and watched Niedenfuer groove a first-pitch fastball to Clark, who proceeded to hit one of the great no-doubters I've ever seen. Man, I would have loved to hear the "ooooomph" sound the crowd let out as that ball was screaming through the air. How that has a bearing on what happened in the Series, I'm not sure, but I was glad to get to see Clark's swing again, and the Ozzie Smith homerun in St. Louis (also off Niedenfuer) was an added bonus.
2. Something else.
1. The Cards completely lose their composure. It's true. It had to be hard for Cardinals fans to watch that. I'd want to blame somebody, too, and it's easier to blame Don Denkinger than your own team, though Costas has no problem blaming Porter.
Sadly, ESPN never offered the BEST reason for why you can't blame Don Denkinger, and that's the 1985 World Champion Kansas City Royals. The Royals beat them with great pitching and a balanced attack that only produced 2 home runs in a seven game series. How about a little respect for the champs?
For years I've heard about Don Denkinger from Cardinals fans, but those days are done. ESPN has taken up the argument, and they agree that your team simply choked. They couldn't hit the ball and they choked when adversity struck. Once again, I am vindicated by history.
The next episode is "The Top Five Reasons You Can't Blame the Atlanta Falcons for Trading Brett Favre". I'm going to take a stab at these:
5. They couldn't pronounce his name.
4. He looked terrible in black.
3. He didn't get along with Hammer.
2. It was viewed as Humanitary Relief toward the state of Wisconsin.
1. They knew they were going to be getting Michael Vick in 14 years.
12:20:22 AM 
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