Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Info Cards You know that thing you get in the mail sometimes, or at least used to get back in the day, that was a recipe card-style information product?  Like, it would be a sample of recipe cards about animals, and you could buy the whole set and file all the cards, and when you had all the cards and the card filing box it would be just like your mother's recipe box, except with recipes about animal facts.  Or planets, or U.S. Presidents or the States or something like that.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, just pretend like you do and keep reading. I remember the first time I got one of those offers in the mail.  I was immediately impressed with the organizational scheme, featuring color codes and various icons.  Why, if I had these cards I would know a lot about animals and filing.  My sample had cards in it for different badass animals like the Crocodile and the Scorpion.  Needless to say, it didn't take long before I was absolutely convinced I needed this treasure trove of animal facts, though regrettably my parents were then and consistently ever after unpersuaded about the necessity of owning this product.  Despite this obstacle, I somehow managed to learn about a recipe card's worth of information about several animals, but sadly, my dream of becoming an extremely well-organized field biologist withered and died. A couple weeks ago, Linus received virtually the exact same offer I did so many years ago, only with newer graphics.  Same types of animals, same card-file concept.  He was convinced he needed them and stated his case to me, but like my parents before me, I was unpersuaded.  10:46:02 PM    Say what?[]

Magic Shirt I bought these two shirts at the Unique Thrift Store that were overstock or something from Niemann-Marcus, and were marked down from $140 to $30.  I've never had a shirt even half as expensive or nice as these shirts were, so I bought them.  (I don't want to endorse the idea that just because something is expensive it is by definition nice.  But these shirts were both, in my estimation, expensive and nice.) I wondered what it would be like to wear shirts that were that nice.  I haven't had a need or means to wear many expensive clothes in my life, but as I have gotten older and paid more attention to the way really nice clothes are made, and what they are made of, I have come to suspect that people who are able to dress well are in some way large or small simply living better than I am.  More comfortable.  More functional, durable, respected.  More better.  I probably had my hopes set a little too high.  I'm not sure if I expected sparks to start shooting out of my ass or what, but when I put that shirt on I didn't feel all that different from when I'm wearing one of my other shirts.  It was a nice shirt, sure.  Comfortable, looked good, even though I had it matched with some oh-so-sophisticated Dockers.  But it was just a shirt.  I didn't get a raise, a playful glance from one of the women in the office, or even a "Nice shirt."  Nothing.  I paid $30, marked down from $140, for this?  So I can walk around in a shirt that looks nice?  The good news is, I didn't pay $140. 10:07:46 PM    Say what?[]

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