Feud!
That's right, it's feud match day in the NBA. Tonight, the Milwaukee Bucks roll into Atlanta to face former Buck Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson and 2,000 passionless Hawks "fans". Robinson and Ray Allen have waged a war of words since Milwaukee sent Robinson to Atlanta and got half-value back in return.
So far, more or less, it's gone this way: Allen dissed Robinson publicly after he was dealt; Robinson dissed Allen back. Why am I not more specific in what was said? Because none of it was in any way memorable to anybody but Robinson or Allen, and now Allen is backing away from his earlier comments (which is so very Ray Allen). Guys, if you're going to have a spat, don't hold back.
Why couldn't their feud have gone like this?
Ray Allen: I say good riddance to Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson. My first grievance is that he stole that weak-ass nickname from Antone Carr. That's the original Big Dog. Antoine Carr had to go to college for four years in Wichita, Kansas and spend 30 years in the NBA to earn that nickname, and Glenn Robinson just thinks he can walk up and take it? I heard Glenn actually asked people what nickname he should give himself. The other choices were Glenn "Air" Robinson, Glenn "The Big Hurt" Robinson, and "World B". Glenn Robinson. I think he took Big Dog because that's the only one he could spell. Dude can't even spell his first name right. Damn. Remember when Glenn came out of the draft and started making noises about how he was gonna be the NBA's first $100 million dollar man? They just about laughed his ass back to Purdue. I'll tell you another thing about Glenn Robinson. He ain't never been in a movie. That's how you know you're a Superstar, my man. You get to be in movies. Near as I can tell, only two NBA players in the history of the NBA have ever been in movies, and that's me and Michael Jordan in Space Jam. In fact, they were going to ask me to be in Space Jam II, but I told them I couldn't because I'm allergic to rabbits. Yeah, allergic to rabbits and Big Dogs, if you get my meaning."
To which Glenn Robinson might say:
"Ray Allen said what? Oh, big surprise, Ray Allen's flapping his gums in the media again. Notice how Ray waited till I left town before he got all tough and went public. It's all gonna go down on December 5 in Atlanta, baby. I've circled that date on my Dog of the Month calender, plus the two days before it, so I can scout Ray Allen by watching He Got A Weak-Ass Game. Ray plays such sorry D, even Denzel Washington lit him up. Ray's problem is, he's jealous of me. He's jealous of my nickname, and he's jealous of my contract. Now, he's especially jealous of me because I don't have to play for George Karl anymore, and he does. I predict Ray will be REAL quiet before he gets to Atlanta. He don't want no part of me. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he was 'injured' when it comes time for him to put up or shut up, you dig? People in this league are fed up with Ray. Check out what my man Allen Iverson had to say about this whole situation:
Ray Allen is a bitch-ass punk/In his prima donna face, the Big Dog will dunk/Ray's all that when he plays J. Shuttlesworth/But when the camera's off, he can't guard Mrs. Butterworth/Ray had lots to say once Glenn left town/So on December 5, there's gonna be a throw-down/But don't be surprised if Ray pulls up lame/and stays at the hotel to watch He Got Game.
DAMN! That's a phat verse, AI. I'm gonna drop 35 on the Bucks tonight."
There, now isn't that a better feud than the low-octane version we get to hear about? I think so. Props to Jim Haefele for lending me AI's muse for a moment...
Farm team?
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Bulls to end a 15 game streak. Ricky Davis is back in the fold; when they get Darius Miles back, they'll be more fun to watch than many "good" teams in the NBA, but will most likely still stink. Are they a mirage, or a collection of hot young talent that is just going to need time? My question is, what team stays together long enough to make those development plans work? I can't think of many good teams right now that have substantially the same players as when they were a bad team. In fact, I can't really think of any. Hard to feel good about seeing your team lose all those games with young talent if that talent ends up somewhere else when the payoff is supposed to come.
Latrell sells...
Meanwhile, the Knicks have yet to find a buyer for Latrell Sprewell. Regular readers know I'm not surprised by that. But, according to this article on ESPN, Latrell does sell to a certain market segment. I got so sick of the posturing that accompanied Sprewell's attack on Carlesimo years ago, all of the commentary about "what it meant" and "our direction as a society". Please. Carlesimo was an all-out jerk, and Sprewell was a guy who wasn't going to take it, and snapped completely. Obviously, Sprewell was in the wrong, but the moral and social hand-wringing was just too much. Madison Avenue is a lot of bad things, but one good part of it is that they sometimes can cut through all that BS. They know Latrell will sell to a certain demographic. You know, people who like to choke people and hit somebody upside the head with a 2X4. Madison Avenue can sometimes be a very good barometer of what people really think. They have to. The fact that Latrell can still have a marketing career if he wants one speaks to a few undeniable truths. One, Latrell can still play enough to be a recognizable image. Two, Latrell has some flair, something about him personally that is likeable (unless he is assaulting you). And three, that a lot of people just don't give a damn about the Carlesimo incident. Good or bad, that's reality.
1:44:40 PM 
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