I slept in on Saturday and Sunday, needing to replenish my reserves, and today I feel much better than I have in a long time. I can even bear, once again, the thought of the Holiday Season. All year long I have just had the feeling that I wanted to “opt out” of all the fuss, that the year passes too quickly, that I hardly seem to catch my breath and all the old conflicts about where, when and how to celebrate come ‘round again; that too soon I am being asked what things I want for Christmas, when in truth I want no more things, except for a piano, but that’s such a big thing that I must, as Kipp insists, ask Santa for it since he’s the only one who can afford to give such a gift.
But I feel rested now, physically and mentally. I feel I’ve enough energy to dedicate my own small and private Holiday delights and strong enough to keep all the other forces at bay, or at least to deal with them calmly.
So far the day has been pleasant. I had coffee and conversation with my oldest friend this morning, then I came home to read a bit of Riane Eisler. Her whole theory of the partnership way is positive and optimistic, and I can see that cultural transformation is underway, wherever enough privilege abounds to ensure survival and a certain quality of life, but I am resolutely skeptical about the rest of the world. Skeptical or not, there’s no reason to give up. I will continue to feel that what I do here at home, without resentment, will help to change the foundation on which the cultural pyramid--and the future--rests.
1:55:15 PM 
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