The Preacher’s Story Part 2
"College, Seminary, and Disillusionment"
Read the complete story, parts 1-4 in my story section
I felt “the call” to ministry after high school. Let’s just say I had a strong desire to be of service to God, and I wanted to learn more about the now troublesome bible.
I went to a University and majored in Religious Studies with minors in Greek and Philosophy. Except for the philosophy, that’s a standard “pre-seminary” degree. Eye opening time! I discovered most serious bible scholars had moved beyond a simplistic reading of scripture.
The bottom line: Not everything in the bible should be taken literally, and, more importantly, not everything in the bible applies to MY life.
After college I spent four years in seminary studying further. I managed to work out my problems with scripture and now believe the bible won’t cause insurmountable problems for anyone willing to study it with integrity.
I was, however, experiencing disillusionment of another kind. The source of this new trouble was my growing dissatisfaction with a lot of the Christian people I was meeting.
Sometimes it seemed Christian people literally took leave of their senses. Once I was at a gathering with Christians who were singing some kind of spiritual song. One of the lines included this hideous phrase, “I’ve never seen God’s children begging for bread.”
I was sickened. “What about those kids I saw in Mexico”? Were they suggesting those hungry kids were not God’s children? I decided these people were living in a dream world. All they wanted to do was sing songs about Jesus and pretend the world was wonderful. The world IS wonderful, but it also contains great evil and sadness.
It seemed to me that many Christians saw what they wanted to see. They needed the world to fit easily into their categories.
Over the 8 years of my formal theological education, I encountered many such examples of Christians who, I felt, were not living honest and authentic lives.
By the time I was out of school and ready to be an employed minister, I was having some serious problems with the church. That’s not good. My options were pretty much “minister” or “you want fries with that?”
One
I believed then and still believe that many Christians are not honest about their own failings, sins, and disappointments. Like Martha Stewart, they try to sell a sugary, imaginary world of happiness to people who are hurting and looking for real answers.
Two
I believed then and still believe that many Christians use manipulative techniques in order to gain converts. Converts are counted and boasted about. I shit you not. They wouldn’t call it boasting, but that’s what it is. Retch!
Three
I believed then and still believe that many Christians have created a sub-culture with it’s own language, customs, and myths. Ministers even have their own dialect and hairdos. Weird. This sub-culture is really more about worshipping America than God, more about achieving than receiving, more about competition than grace. The problem with a religious sub-culture is no one else “gets it”, and you are isolated from the world you are called to SERVE.
Four
I became increasingly disgusted with the institutional and bureaucratic nature of churches. It seemed to me that many churches were worshipping the idols of wealth, power, and prestige. It seemed to me that many churches existed solely to support the Christian sub-culture.
I could write for an hour about each of these, but the Preacher counts brevity as a virtue.
In spite of these troubles, I still believed that something beautiful was possible for the Church. I dreamed of finding a small community of people, dedicated to Christ and to bringing God’s love to the world. These people would be bold enough to live authentic lives and not be tied to a Christian sub-culture.
I would say I longed for a spiritual journey and not a religious assimilation.
Coming Next: The Preacher’s dark night of the soul.
8:05:53 PM
|