Real Live Preacher
I have to admit I've enjoyed having a secret identity. I always did want one. I am aware, however, that fear usually lies behind anonymity. I've asked myself, “What exactly are you afraid of, Real Live Preacher?"
I crossed my Rubicon with the George stories. Anyone from my church who stumbles onto this blog will immediately know who I am. So why remain anonymous? I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about that lately, and I've realized that Real Live Preacher is the embodiment of a crazy fantasy of mine.
I always thought it would be wonderful to be a writer. (Me and every other blogger, right?) Standing aloof, you give the world the gift of your words, and you have no further responsibilities. Even as I write this, I still think that sounds wonderful.
I thought if I remained anonymous I could give you my words but not give you myself. I was wrong. That was a fantasy, and this fantasy was born of burnout.
The dear people of my church don’t need words as much as they need a person. I've been that person for a long time, but I think it's getting to me. Lately I’m having a hard time caring. My attention is drifting when they talk to me.
So I came to you, dear reader. You were to be my disembodied audience. You would read my words, but not care about me and not ask that I care about you. I could say whatever I wanted. I opened this blog with a flurry of profanity, and it was like singing a hymn of freedom.
But the fantasy did not happen.
Instead, some of you reached out to me. You left kind comments and sent wonderful emails. You expressed real concern and care. You offered relationship, and I grabbed it without thinking twice. And now look. I’ve made friendships here - Real Live Friendships.
Funny thing. If I really wanted to be disconnected from you, why did I enable the comments and post a big, fat link that says, “Email the Preacher”? Why would I do that?
I suspect that somewhere down inside I knew that people are what I do and relationships are what I know.
At some level I must have understood that if I cut myself off from you, I'd have absolutely nothing to say.
10:48:15 PM 
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