Who Googled Me?
Last Saturday’s referrer links included someone who ran a search at Google for “Fucktard Nerdy Redhead Twat” and somehow ended up at Real Live Preacher.
I think that’s a bit odd, don’t you?
I didn’t even know Fucktard was a word. Google gave me 5,710 results, including a nifty quiz to determine just how much of a Fucktard you are, so I guess it IS a word. Live and learn.
Like one of Meg Ryan’s characters in Joe vs. the Volcano, I have no response to “Fucktard Nerdy Redhead Twat”.
His (I’m assuming male) search came back zero, by the way. Not even one website. He somehow came directly to Real Live Preacher from the failed search page. Apparently, when he didn’t find anything pertaining to “Fucktard Nerdy Redhead Twat”, he decided to come visit the preacher instead.
So many questions…
Did he feel the need for spiritual solace upon finding that his particular “interests” were so bizarre as to be unavailable even on the Internet?
Or was I just second on his list of sites to visit? “First I’ll check out Fucktard Nerdy Redhead Twat websites, and then I’ll drop by to see what the preacher has to say.”
You know, round out the day.
Perhaps his dream is to find a slightly nerdy but beautiful redhead (sigh) who's in a bitchy mood, but looks as if she would shed her glasses and frumpy dress if she were asked in just the right way by just the right kind of man.
Admittedly, that’s a best-case scenario.
It’s more likely this guy feels a deep need, but doesn’t know how to find what will make him happy. I don’t believe he’ll find it running Google searches. Like the U2 song, he still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.
I think he’s looking in the wrong places.
Check this out. Google will catalog this essay in a week or two. You’ll notice I’ve used the phrase “Fucktard Nerdy Redhead Twat” numerous times. If our intrepid but somewhat compulsive friend tries his search again, there might be one site that comes up.
Mine.
For all I know, he might be reading this right now.
Hi, howya doin? Welcome back. Were you surprised when Real Live Preacher came up in your search? I arranged it just for you.
Yes, this is a sign from God. Not a sign that something is wrong with you or that you are a bad person, but a sign that you will not find what you need searching for Fucktard Nerdy Redhead Twat. That isn’t going to work for you.
Happy searching. Godspeed.
I don’t know if he'll find his way back here, but if he does, his journey will become epic.
I hope he takes a chance and follows the link. What you're REALLY looking for is often found in unexpected places.
EVERY path may lead you to God, even the weird ones. Most of us are on a journey. We’re looking for something, though we’re not always sure what that is. The way is foggy much of the time. I suggest you slow down and follow some of the side roads that appear suddenly in the mist.
The Preacher
8:46:06 AM 
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