Mystery
I’m 41, but I haven’t really grown up yet.
I still hope to get the corner piece of cake, the one with the most icing. I still pretend I know karate and sometimes practice it when I’m the only one on the elevator.
I also can't resist kicking things I find on the sidewalk. This almost got me in trouble one day at the supermarket.
I had parked on the side of the store and was walking toward the front when I spotted what I thought was an aluminum bottle cap on the ground. Irresistible.
I used to pretend I was kicking the game winning field goal for the Cowboys, but these days they couldn’t win even if they HAD a devastatingly handsome, free agent kicker, who came out of nowhere to stun the league with his deadly accuracy and nerves of steel.
When my foot hit it I realized this was no bottle cap. It was a ring of metal that was heavier than I expected. Instead of knocking it forward 5 or 10 feet, to my horror, I launched it about 40 feet into the parking lot toward a woman who had paused momentarily and was fishing around in her purse for something. I cringed and whispered, “Oh shit”.
It was an incredible kick, a real game-winner, but that’s beside the point right now.
Thankfully, it flew past her in the air, missing her by about 5 feet and landing behind her. As I stared in stunned amazement, it rolled in a giant lazy circle around her. It's entire journey traced a large "P" in the parking lot with her facing me in the circle of the "P".
She never saw it fly by and never heard it hit the ground behind her. Just as she finished digging in her purse and started walking again, it completed the last of its “P” and fell over right in front of her.
From her perspective, a little metal ring rolled lazily across her path in a straight line from left to right. There was no way she could conceive of the circumstances that precipitated this bizarre event.
She looked to her left to see where it came from, but there was no one in the parking lot. She looked down at the ring, as if to assure herself of its existence, then looked again to her left and then behind her. She even looked up in the sky for a moment.
She picked up the ring and stared at it. I was the only person within 100 yards of her, but I was standing by the front door of the store, not in a position to have had anything to do with it.
I could tell it blew her mind. I mean, there seemed to be no reasonable explanation for this event from her point of view.
She dropped the ring like it had burned her hand and started walking briskly into the store. She pulled up short and had one last look behind her, scanning the parking lot for whoever or whatever had done this.
It was an absolute mystery to her.
I caught her eye as she walked past me into the store and for some reason I said, “How you doin?” like they say it on the Sopranos. I have no idea why I did that. It just popped out. Like I said, I really haven't grown up yet.
Do you ever get the feeling that we don’t know what the hell is going on out there?
Real mysteries surround us, but wouldn't know how to name them. We don't even know what's going on in the parking lot.
We have no idea.
The Preacher
9:47:52 AM 
|
