I had this funny picture in my head of a freak-show barker shouting, "Come, See a Real Live Preacher".

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  Wednesday, December 17, 2003


Let me ask you something. Say you knew this minister, and, like all ministers, he was especially busy at Christmas time. Let's say for argument's sake that he has two, no make it three kids. While we're at it, let's give him another job as well. Just to be crazy.

What would you say if this idiot announced to the whole world, early in December, that he was going to write the entire Christmas story in eight parts and publish the whole thing before Christmas?

Exactly.

Anyway, part six will be up late tonight or tomorrow. Until then, I have this for you:

Wright Brothers Commemorative Flight Fails

Let me see if I have this straight. It cost 1.2 million dollars to build a replica of the original Wright brothers’ airplane, and it didn’t work?

1.2 million to copy a plane that two bicycle mechanics built in their backyard? And it doesn't fly? You put me in charge of this project, and it would look something like this:

“Historian Guy, here’s $30,000. Dig up everything you can on the original Wright brothers airplane. We want specs, plans, all of it. We want to know everything that can be known about this airplane. You will receive another $30,000 upon successful completion of your work. You get a bonus of $10,000 if the plane flies as planned on the big day.”

“Engineer Guy, here’s $30,000. Take Historian Guy’s research and create a set of plans for an exact replica of the Wright brothers’ plane. You will receive another $30,000 upon successful completion of your work. You get a bonus of $10,000 if the plane flies as planned on the big day.”

“Mechanic Guy, here’s $50,000. Take Engineer Guy’s plans and build us an exact replica of the Wright brothers’ plane. You will receive another $50,000 upon successful completion of your work. You get a bonus of $10,000 if the plane flies as planned on the big day.”

I get, say, $30,000 for writing the previous three paragraphs. Fair’s fair. Total budget: $250,000 or $280,000 depending on whether or not it flies.

I think I’d have three very happy and highly motivated workers on my hands. I know I’d be one very happy and motivated writer.

Wilbur and Orville Wright, self-taught engineers, built this damn thing themselves with no corporate funding. And no one had ever built an airplane before. 1.2 million dollars and 100 years of aviation experience, and the engineering team can't make one that will fly fifty yards?

Put me in charge next time, Chachee

rlp

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