Thanks to Rush Limbaugh, I Don’t Need No Stinking Fox Urine
I hear they're taking nominations for "The Strangest Blog Entry of 2004." Anyone want to nominate me?
Ladies and Gentlemen, the raccoon ordeal is over, and I didn't even have to buy any fox urine. On Friday I tuned the radio in our fireplace to Rush Limbaugh, and the raccoons were gone that very night.
I’m serious.
Around sundown on Friday I put duct tape over the hole in my chimney so I could see if any raccoons entered or exited that night. There were no sounds in the wall on Friday night. Saturday morning I found the tape undisturbed. Saturday passed with nothing but blessed silence. Sunday morning was the same. Nothing has been in our chimney since we played Limbaugh on Friday.
No raccoons.
My best guess is that the mothballs and noise finally drove the mother raccoon away, just as we hoped. I think she must have been waiting until they were old enough to move them.
Facts are meaningless without interpretation, and I’m not going to interpret these facts for you, but I played Limbaugh on Friday, and the raccoons left immediately. Make of that what you will.
As for me, I’m going to enjoy a quiet night’s sleep. If the hole is still undisturbed on Monday morning, I will seal it with metal flashing material, and this saga will be over.
I'm sure Pepe is a little disappointed. He wanted to see me buying fox urine by the gallon and trapping raccoons on my roof. He even asked me if I thought preacher piss might be a more powerful deterrent. Here is his idea for the very first Real Live Preacher spin-off product.
Alas, it was not meant to be. I'll not be marketing my piss as a raccoon deterrent.
And thanks to Rush Limbaugh, I don't need no stinking fox urine.
Goodbye Mrs. Raccoon. Take care of the little ones!
rlp
5:45:00 PM 
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