Even The Rich Woman
Part One
A Real Live Preacher Dramatized Version of a Bible Story (RLPDV)
No one hated rich people more than Judas. Seriously, he hated them. Judas said the problems our people were having could be traced back to all sorts of abuses by the establishment and the powerful people who were in charge of things. He hated the professional priests and their rich supporters. He hated their nice houses, fancy clothes, and high-dollar religious festivals.
Before he met Jesus, Judas lived out in the desert with the Essene zealots. He told us he left them because bullshit politics were ruining the movement. I don’t exactly remember the details, but it was something like that.
Anyway, I always thought it was strange that Jesus put Judas in charge of the money. But then, Jesus did a lot of things that didn’t make sense to me. I remember that Judas used to count the money a lot and fret over it. He didn’t want any to be wasted. Sometimes Jesus would take some money out of the bag to throw a party or something, and Judas’ would look very irritated. He couldn’t say anything because it was Jesus doing it, but you could tell he didn’t like it.
Judas told us that if we lived simply and saved every shekel, one day we would be able to do some wonderful things for the poor and downtrodden. He had a big heart for things like that. He was always talking about the poor. That’s probably why he joined up with Jesus in the first place. Jesus seemed to care about regular people and not just the ones with money. We loved that about him.
Oh, I’m Thaddaeus, by the way. In case you were wondering. I was one of the twelve, but I’m not that well known or anything. I personally think it's because no one wants to name his son Thaddaeus, but what do I know? I never was one for saying all that much, but I see things. I notice the way people’s faces show what they feel inside. That’s something I do pretty well, and Jesus knew it. He and I used to talk about that late at night after everyone else had gone to bed. About how people really felt and how you could see it if you looked closely.
So yeah, I was telling you about Judas because I remember the last night he was with us. I remember what happened right before he went to the High Priest and said he would betray Jesus.
I never believed that part about the thirty pieces of silver, by the way, and I still don’t. I know they gave him a bag of coins, but there was no way Judas would ever betray a friend for money. No way. There was something else going on, and I think I know what it was. I saw something in Judas’ face that night. And in the face of Jesus too.
I remember it all started when we were invited to the home of Simon the Leper for dinner. He wasn’t actually a leper, of course, though Jesus was pretty famous for not being afraid of lepers. He even touched them sometimes. Seriously, he did. Simon only used to be a leper. He got healed some time back. He was an ex-leper, I guess. But people around there still called him “Simon the Leper” because once something like that happens to you, no one ever forgets it.
We were right in the middle of dinner, as I recall, when this rich woman showed up at the door. You could tell she was very rich because of her clothes and all that. Also I remember that it seemed like she didn’t really belong there. Like her rich husband wouldn’t approve or something. She had that look that rich women get when they are somewhere they normally wouldn’t be.
When she appeared in the doorway, all the conversation died, and everyone sat there watching her. She was carrying one of those real expensive alabaster jars of burial ointment. You know, the ones that rich people have. This was SERIOUSLY expensive stuff. Pure nard, okay? Get the picture? You know what I’m talkin about.
The whole thing was just weird. Here’s this woman, without her husband, carrying this unbelievable bottle of perfume. And everyone was staring at her, wondering what she was going to do.
I noticed Judas was watching her real close. Like I said, he normally hated people like her, but she did have that expensive flask. I’m pretty sure Judas thought she was going to make a donation or something because he got the money bag out and started smiling. I know what he was thinking. If we could sell that nard, then maybe we would finally have enough money to start making a real difference in the world. We could help a lot of poor people.
But you’re not going to believe what happened next. You couldn’t guess in a million years. The woman walked over to Jesus and broke the neck of the bottle on the edge of the table. Everyone jumped because it was pretty loud. Then she poured it all on the top of Jesus’ head and started rubbing it into his hair and whispering stuff in his ear.
I know. Unbelievable.
It kinda seemed like a long time that everyone just stared at them without saying anything, but I think it was just a second or two. Then Judas said, “Oh shit!” He and a couple of the guys jumped up and ran over to where Jesus and the woman were. Judas said, “What the hell have you done, you stupid bitch!”
Jesus got everyone calmed down and back to their places around the table, but for a minute there, it was quite a scene. Judas put his face in his hands and shook his head back and forth, saying, “That woman just poured twenty-thousand dollars onto his head. Do you know how many people we could have fed with that money?”
Then he jumped to his feet and yelled at her again.
“You know you just killed a bunch of kids, right? You DO know that. Little children. Children who might have lived will now die. Because of you. That’s right, dead children. I hope you sleep well tonight. You probably will because people like you don’t give a damn about anyone or anything but themselves.”
Man, he was so angry. I’m serious, Judas really loved the idea of poor people and of helping them. Like I said, he had a big heart in that way, and I think it was just too much for him to see an opportunity like this wasted. I don’t agree with him yelling those things, but you would understand if you knew Judas. He took this stuff very seriously.
Judas took a lot of things very seriously. Sometimes I think that was his problem. See, a guy like Judas who cares about a lot of things – well, it just takes a lot of energy to care that much. And then, you know, you start having a lot of stuff you have to set right in the world. It just takes a lot out of you, that’s all I’m saying. Judas didn’t have any time to sit back and watch people. Like I said before, that’s what I do.
And I saw something that night that Judas missed. I saw something amazing in the face of Jesus.
rlp
This story will be in two parts. I'll provide more details about the actual bible story at the end of part two. The scripture says that this ointment cost the equivalent of three-hundred days wages for a working man. I put that at about $20,000.
12:53:03 AM 
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