It's a New Day and the Sun is Shining
I'd like to write something if only to push that last thing down from the top of the screen. I started regretting that posting about three hours after I put it online. I'm aware that it's just strange to bear your soul in such a way before so many strangers. You're really not just fifty people.
There are times when I wake up in the morning and say to myself, "Tell me you didn't put that online last night!"
But I felt it and I wrote it and I posted it. So I'm leaving it there. I'm still going to take a break from serious writing here, but let me say that I had some very straight conversations with my dear friend, and things are fine. So I feel good.
I'm pretty insulated when it comes to relationships. I give the keys to my heart to a select number of people. If you don't have a key, you can't hurt me. I'm very good at this. It doesn't mean I don't respect you. It doesn't mean I can't relate to you and even be a friend. But you can't hurt me if you don't have a key, no matter what you say. That's how I survive in the ministry and as a writer.
But if you are one of my people, if you are someone to whom I've opened my heart, then I'm a sold-out 100% friend. And if something happens, and our relationship is fractured or, God forbid, broken, then I am done. I am down for the count. I grieve like someone has died.
It doesn't happen often because I try hard to care for my friendships, but last week a misunderstanding put one of my relationships in jeapordy. This friendship is with a quirky and wonderful man in our church whom I've known for almost twenty years. He and my wife were in chaplain training together back when Jeanene and I were just out of seminary. There just aren't too many people in the world that I appreciate more than him.
So hell yes I was in the dumps. It was like someone died. And then the morning came and we talked, and we are not just okay with each other. We're in good shape. So I'm in good shape.
So while I'm a little embarrased at being rather melodramatic at 4:30 am Friday morning, I'll leave that post in place as a way of admitting to my own humanity and as a way of paying homage to writing from your guts.
Thanks for your kind comments. They were way too much and way over the top. I really didn't need reassurance as much as I needed to vent and bare my soul. That's done and I'm okay.
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6:43:17 AM 
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