Not To Be Real Live Preacher
Here's how it happens. You look at your life in some way that makes sense to you. Make a list, have a "Come to Jesus moment," call your sponsor, do the pros and cons thing. Whatever your fancy. But however you get there, you come to understand that your life is no longer your own.
In my case it's a little black book I call, "Gordon's Book of Obligations." I've been writing in it for a week, and the book doesn't lie. It tells me that I'm in trouble. I haven't been sleeping and the depression is kicking up again, so I knew I was in trouble. But it's good to see it in black and white.
It all boils down to this. Apparently there is nothing I won't put aside, procrastinate, or avoid in order to make time to write. I've been doing that for a long time and now my real life is out of control, snarling, and making me pay attention. I do have a real life, apparently. I had forgotten.
And so I think I'd like not to be Real Live Preacher for a time. I think a month will do. Yes, that sounds about right. The month of April, in fact. For the month of April I will no longer be Real Live Preacher. I'll be a husband and father, a pastor, a web designer, and a friend. That's all.
I'll miss it like hell. You don't know how much I love being Real Live Preacher. But for the month of April I will not blog. I will shut down my rlp email address. There will be a very nice automated response, but I won't be home. I won't look at the comments; I won't follow referal links; I'm just going to stop.
See, just now as I typed that last sentence, I said to myself, "You don't have to do this. Just slow down a bit. Don't post this because you might want to blog in a few days and you won't be able to after you post this because you'll feel dumb."
See what I mean? I've got to stop being Real Live Preacher right now.
I'll be back. I'm not out of ideas, Lord no. I'm not out of desire. I just need to pay attention to other things right now.
Tomorrow I have an essay going online at Christian Century. In mid-April I will have another one. I'll post something tomorrow and around the 15th, pointing to the second one. I have an agreement with Christian Century so I'll have to post something when that comes out. But other than that, rlp is hanging out a "gone fishing" sign.
I will miss you, but rlp will be back. He always comes back, you know.
see you in May,
gordon
9:50:39 PM 
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