I vant to be alone...
I loved this book excerpt in Salon two weeks ago so much, I finally had to go order the book. And of course the letters are interesting, too. This book is all about how it is actually okay for some people to want to be alone. Really! For some people, it is a chore to be with other people. Some people get invited to a dinner party and think, "Score! I don't have to cook, and I get to talk to new people. How could I be so lucky!" But other folks think, "Damn! I have to leave the house and be "on" and sociable for several hours with people I don't even know. How can I get out of this?"
I have to admit, I am mostly the latter type. Boring routines and structure allow me to move on autopilot, and occupy my mind with interesting thoughts. Having to suss out how to act in new social settings is a lot of work, to me. I don't mean to sound like I'm a high-waters-wearin', electrical-taped-glasses-wearin' nerd-geek. Because I'm not. It's just that, for the most part, I'd prefer several weeks of being a homebody, punctuated by occasional bits of socializing, to the reverse of that.
I'm not sure whether I've mentioned this before, but the most useful "communications" seminar I ever took at work was based on this True Colors concept, by Don Lowry. If you like, you should take the test first. This site has a less-than-stellar implementation (you have to count things manually), but it'll tell you what color you are. I'd suggest interpreting the results by clicking the SECOND of the two links at the bottom first, "how you see yourself vs how others may see you". To summarize, though, the colors are these:
- Green - the curious scientist-type. Likes knowledge and independence.
- Gold - the rules-following, penny-pincher type. Likes structure and discipline.
- Orange - the active, fast-talking type. Likes stimulation and movement.
- Blue - the touchy-feely type. Likes hugging and talking.
This list, by the way, is my list of colors, in order. Notice that the independence card is high on my list, and the hugging and chatting is low. I had a friend take this test, after explaining how I was. She of course turned out to be a blue. So now she knows not to get offended if I forget to hug her when I first see her, and I know now to make the effort to hug her even if the situation seems awkward to me (because I know that it won't seem awkward to her).
The most eye-opening part of the class was when they broke us up into groups by color, and had us design our ideal work space. We greens had big offices (each our own, of course), with lots of table space, books and bookshelves, and all the latest gadgets. That's what everyone would want, right? Wrong. The oranges blew me away. They'd have radios blaring and clutter everywhere. I always got annoyed with the radio people - I mean, just because they didn't want to do any work shouldn't mean that they should be interfering with my getting work done. But it turns out that they can't get any work done without that noise! It actually helps them think! I mean, I'd heard people say that before, but I never really believed them. I figured that they just got used to it and got out of the habit of hearing their own mind. But no, that's actually something they need, in order to get work done. Interesting. The blues of course shared one big office and someone was always bringing in baked goods. I don't remember much about the golds, but I'm sure it involved "a place for everything and everything in its place".
The new book by Anneli Rufus seems to coincide with this 4-colors theory. She states that probably only about 25% of people are loners, which means they're probably all greens. The vast majority of people, 75%, need other people; the blues to hug, the oranges to play games with, and the golds in order to have a hierarchy of who's the boss and who's the subordinate. Greens could exist in a people-free vacuum. She mentions that introverts (the 25%) have had to adapt to extroverts (the 75%). Being that introverts are in the minority, though, extroverts probably don't even realize they exist, or that they are different from themselves. I also especially like the letter to the editor that pointed out that introverts renew their energy by being alone and have to expell it when they are with others, and extroverts are the opposite.
I'm guessing that most of us here are either green or blue - greens because, like me, we like to record our observations; and blues because they like the connection with other people. I don't think many golds would see the point of weblogs, and oranges just wouldn't have the time, being out there in the world doing things. Though I actually have an inkling of their being a couple of oranges out there, in particular. If you'd like to take the test and post your results, we could test that theory. And I can test my color-detection skills. :-)
3:57:49 PM 
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