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Friday, July 09, 2004
 

Radio LoserLand, how do I hate thee?

Let me count the ways.

Your updates are hours behind.

Your rankings are spurious.

Trying to post photos

Is like trying to herd cats.

Asking for help is like

Inviting a Kafka nightmare.

Yet we pay each year for this service.

No one ever went broke

Underestimating the stupidity

Of the blogging public.

I hope you are laughing

All the way to the bank.

Assholes.


1:31:58 AM    comment []

Le roi est mort, vive le roi

 

I have a great fondness for technological gadgetry, although mastering it does not come naturally.  By nature, I am left handed and right brained.  My third grade teacher (this was in public school, mind you) thought left handed people were children of the devil.  She scarred my knuckles with the proverbial metal edged ruler until I learned to write with my right hand.  I hated her for it at the time, but was too cowed to tell my parents what was going on.

She did me a favor, as it turns out.  In learning to use my right hand, I also opened up my left brain a bit.  I am still no mechanical or mathematical genius, but I get by.  I can now write with either hand, although both scripts are illegible to anyone but me.  That has often served me well as a journalist.  When someone asks to see my notes, I gladly hand them over in the sure knowledge that not even the best cryptologist could decipher what I have written.

I use both hands equally well when eating, which comes in handy at crowded tables.  I can switch hit on the softball field and throw with either hand, although the right is stronger and more accurate.  I learned to play the guitar left handed, which turned out to be a very good thing in the sixties.  Thanks to Paul McCartney, I looked very cool and not many people could mess with my ax.  It made me different and I desperately needed that at the time.

Now, where was I?  Oh, yes.  Technology.  I love the stuff, but I am cautious about jumping on the latest whiz bang bandwagon.  That saved me from ever owning an eight track tape player or a Betamax.  The geeks may have thought they were cool, but I didn’t need to be THAT different.

I used both Macs and PCs when computers first came out and came down on the side of the PC.  I now use a Mac at work because that’s what’s available.  I do all my serious work at home on a five year old PC that is as reliable as death and taxes.  I do very little work on the Mac at the office because the bugger crashes constantly and requires three steps to do what I can do in one on the PC.  Save your breath, Mac lovers.  My editorial assistant is a Macrophile and I have heard every argument there is in favor of that system.  I am a PC true believer and cannot be converted.

Having used VCRs for many years and having a fair collection of tapes, I was not eager to jump on the DVD juggernaut.  My daughter and granddaughter, however, converted me.  They watch movies at home and at the local multiplex constantly.  I went to the movies a lot when I was younger, but somehow got out of the habit.  I rarely go now, but occasionally like to go on a binge at home and catch up on what I have missed.  It’s been harder and harder to find the films I want to watch on VHS.

So a couple of weeks ago, I broke down and bought a DVD.  Cautious gadgeteer that I am, I bought a unit that has both DVD and VHS capabilities.  One thing that sold me was the high gain audio outputs that would allow me to hook the unit into my stereo system.

I am very picky about music.  My tastes are eclectic, but I want faithful sound reproduction.  My stereo rig reflects that peculiarity.  I have a rather bulky old MacIntosh amp that uses an antediluvian device known as a vacuum tube.  It weighs about 80 pounds, but I have yet to hear a solid state amp that can touch it.  The system includes another antiquity known as a turntable.  It was made by a British company called Garrard and the works are encased in a solid block of marble that renders it invulnerable to anything short of a magnitude 7.5 earthquake.  I picked it up at a garage sale several years ago for $25.  It plays my collection of about 500 LPs with unerring accuracy and features a stroboscopic speed adjustment just in case the power company allows fluctuations in the 60 cycle current.  The speakers are also museum pieces.  They are huge old JBLs that can blow the roof off the house if I so desire.  Modern systems may require a subwoofer.  These babies don’t.

When I bought the DVD player, I naturally enough wanted some disks that would test the system.  One of the treasures I found was a DVD version of Elvis Presley’s 1968 comeback concert.

I saw that concert live when it was first broadcast and it was an epiphany.  I grew up with Elvis and remember seeing him (from the waist up) on Ed Sullivan.  I copied his greasy pompadour to the extent my parents would let me (not much), but I liked some of the other early rock ‘n rollers better.  Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Buddy Holly and Little Richard kept me from being a total Elvis fanatic.

The Beatles happened when I was a sophomore in high school and, like most of my peers, I immediately forgot that rock ‘n roll was invented in America.  I had taken up the drums by that time and was soon in a band that did nothing but covers of British Invasion hits.  We did everything the Beatles did, plus some Dave Clark Five, Rolling Stones, Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas, the Kinks, the Searchers and some others I have probably forgotten.  I am proud to say that we never did Herman’s Hermits or Gerry and the Pacemakers.  We had our standards.

When that Elvis comeback concert was broadcast in 1968, I was in college.  A group of us who were playing in various bands gathered to laugh at the music that we had long since left behind.  We didn’t laugh much.

That concert was Elvis at the very top of his form and he took back rock’n roll from the Brits with a vengeance.  He was lean, mean, and left no doubt as to who was The King.  Replaying that concert on the recently released DVD set brought it all back.  The sound has been remastered and when the first chords blasted through my old JBLs, I knew I had done the right thing.

There was Elvis, hair black as sin, staring with those hooded eyes into the camera like he was about to take it down.  He was all in black leather, kicking ass and taking names.

“You lookin’ for trouble?  You come to the right place.  You lookin’ for trouble, look right into my face.”

The incredible magnetism that Elvis had grabbed me by the short hairs and wouldn’t let go.  For two solid hours, he performed all his great hits with an energy and a sly good humor that saw him mock his own image.

“Wait a minute.  There’s somethin’ wrong with mah lip.”

He stopped in the middle of a song and tried to get his sneer back.

“I did 29 movies with that lip,” Elvis said.

This DVD set includes many of the outtakes from the concert and demonstrates what a master showman Elvis was.  Even on the 20th take of the opening number, he had the same energy and magnetism.  He did it right every time, even when the musicians didn’t.

Reiko was here when I put the DVD on.  She is not a big Elvis fan, being five years younger than I am.  She is a Rolling Stones devotee.  But from that first magical moment when Elvis issued his rock ‘n roll challenge, I saw her eyes get very big.  Suddenly, she discovered where Mick got his mojo.  She was seeing the original.  She was silent for a long time after the DVD ended.  Then she said, “Can we watch that again?”

I was only too happy to comply.  Technology is good.  It helps us reclaim our heritage.  This is the Elvis I choose to remember.

 

 


12:26:58 AM    comment []


  © Copyright 2004 Christopher Key.
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