It’s really late.

I have three services to preach tomorrow. Somebody who preaches a lot and knows more than I said that every sermon one preaches requires the energy of an eight hour day at work.

That means 24 hours by 11:45 tomorrow morning.

Saturday nights are a contest between wanting to go to bed and trying to "get the hook" for tomorrow’s sermons.

I don’t write sermons. I don’t even make notes. My years in radio taught me that if I write something down, I’m tied to it. I have to read it. I’ve tried writing sermons before. It was pathetic. Trying to deliver a sermon you have written, without using the manuscript, requires some memorization. And the struggle is to preach the sermon exactly as it was written, and that stifles the spirit.

It kills the sermon, too.

So they don’t get written. I don’t make notes. And every Saturday night it’s the same question,

"What’s it to be in the morning?"

The Other, laughing, whispers the Saturday Night Prayer Before Going To Bed in my head:

"Please Lord, don’t let tomorrow be the day you hang me out to dry."

I wrestle with the desire to let the Holy Spirit do the talking and the desire to take the reins myself and be the One who brings Light to the people I'll meet tomorrow.

Saturday nights are Faith-strained Nights.

Why does anyone willingly do this week after week?

I turn to the Gospel for tomorrow: Mark 1:14-20. Jesus comes to Galilee, proclaiming the Good News of God and saying,

"The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near."

He calls Simon, Andrew, James and John to follow him and become fishers of people.

They dropped everything to follow, as did I. As did The Preacher. As did everyone who lives to proclaim the Good News.

God hands me the answer.

"Because I asked you to."

And just to drive it home, she reassures me, and all of us, from the New Testament reading for tomorrow: I Corinthians 7:17-23. Paul tells the people of the Church in Corinth to lead the life the Lord has assigned them, to which God has called them. He tells them not to try to change who they are, but to make use of their present condition now more than ever. We were bought with a price. We are free in Jesus. How will you respond?

Proclaim the Good News not as someone or something you’re not, but as you are. For it is in who you are and what you are that your heart most passionately speaks the truth.

"Just be yourself, Bud. Stand before them tomorrow. I’ll do the rest"

There will be peaceful sleep tonight. I will never be hung out to dry.