Just.. whatever you do.. don't scar my beautiful, beautiful face :( So Russian martial arts you say? Why Russian??? Well, it's the fancy dancing stupid! That and the totally male oriented promise of teaching you almost exactly what Russian elite units learned during training. Most men cannot resist things like this. Perhaps it's a flaw in our wiring, or millions of years of evolution demanding we become proficient enough with weapons to kill dozens of men without breaking a sweat. All I know is that from the moment I saw Mr Vasiliev in his video disarm 3 men with knives and casually stomp them with his boots, I was hooked. So I decided I would go Sunday, I got my best track pants, my rattiest white t-shirt, and I headed off for the gym where I would become a man.
I got there early. So early in fact that I was almost convinced that I had gone to the wrong place. That my friends is another flaw in my internal make. If you gave me a compass, with detailed maps, a car, a cel phone and a sherpa guide, I would still be lost minutes after I set out for my destination. After much hand wringing another car pulled up.. and stopped. A small female got out and proceeded to go up and wait by the doors. This was it. This obviously must be one of the feared Russian Spetsnaz. After a few minutes of staring at her uncomfortably, I grabbed my stuff and got out of the car. Halfway to my fellow student I noticed her body language becoming increasingly... alarmed. I sometimes forget that to someone who does not know me (or someone that does actually) I usually look like A) A crazed murderer realeased on parole (after 3 years) B) An armed Chechen rebel (hahaha some humour for the Russians out there *cough*) C) Or a murderer.. wait.. well you get the point. See below.
 Now I know that deep inside I'm a sweet young man with a heart of gold and I like to hold puppies and pet kittens (kittens you perverts) and I have a fondness for the rugrats. But hell, I'd probably back away from me too.
Me: Are you here for the.. Russian.. umm.. stuff?
Her: Yes......
Me: Me too!!! Nice to meet you!
Her: *passes out*
Later I asked her what she was thinking while I was crossing the street. Knife attacks?? Strikes to the groin? A called U.S air strike?
Her: I was looking around and figuring out what were the best escape routes.
Believe it or not that made me feel better about the Russian system. She had been training for 3 months, she was no soldier, it was the honesty and focus on real life situations that drew me into this martial art. A van pulled up. The instructor was here.
2:31:23 PM 
|
