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Thursday, January 30, 2003 |
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Wednesday, January 29, 2003 |
a little bit punk
punk lives!
The Prawns, l-r: Ben, Matt, Pete and Greg
Red Hot Hearse
6:42:18 PM 
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Tuesday, January 28, 2003 |
decisions decisions
Dubya's State of the Union or my friend Matt's band, The Prawns?
i'm a bad american, going to listen to the music!
7:16:05 PM
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Update..
On the 22nd, I linked you to the story of two teens, who drowned when their car fell through open water on Lake Minnetonka. They were buried yesterday, side by side. This bit of the story really hit me...
Family members say Wilson helped Fricke out of the water, where without any shoes or a jacket, she walked and then crawled before collapsing within 100 yards from shore. Her body was found the next morning, curled up with her arms wrapped around her shoulders.
Divers later recovered Wilson's body from the water.
Can you imagine it?
5:38:35 PM
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browsing my favs
I found this article, Dark Alliance, The Story Behind the Crack Explosion. Originally published in the San Jose Mercury News (california) over three days in August of 1996. A longish read but I think well worth it and eye opening.
edit I did some cursory searching on this story after Jan's comments. I cringed when I found a review of the same titled book, Dark Alliance by Webb and published in 1999, on Conspiracy Digest. But I breathed a sigh of relief when I stumbled over to Columbia Journalism Review and read this article from 1997, The Storm over "Dark Alliance". From about halfway through this article:
In the very first Washington Post treatment of the San Jose Mercury News phenomenon -- appearing in the Style section on October 2 -- media reporter Howard Kurtz noted "just one problem" with the controversy: despite broad hints, Gary Webb's stories never "actually say the CIA knew about the drug trafficking." In an interview with Kurtz, Webb stated that his story "doesn't prove the CIA targeted black communities. It doesn't say this was ordered by the CIA."
What did the Mercury News stories actually say? The long three-part series covered the lives and connections of three career criminals: "Freeway" Ricky Ross, perhaps L.A.'s most renowned crack dealer in the 1980s; Oscar Danilo Blandon Reyes, a right-wing Nicaraguan expatriate, described by one U.S. assistant district attorney as "the biggest Nicaraguan cocaine dealer in the United States"; and Juan Norvin (Norwin in some documents) Meneses Cantarero, a friend of the fallen dictator Anastasio Somoza, who a llegedly brought Blandon into the drug business to support the contras and supplied him, for an uncertain amount of time, with significant quantities of cocaine.
I didn't walk away convinced the CIA totally contrived the idea of introducing crack into LA but it confirmed for me that the war on drugs is shady and a sham.
4:18:42 PM
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Monday, January 27, 2003 |
one highlight
dinner with friends :)
11:11:38 PM
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monday
pfffffffffffffffffffft! and that's all i gotta say about that! the work week makes me feel like a hamster in a wheel.
11:08:37 PM
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Sunday, January 26, 2003 |
TV II
tell me something i don't know
show me something i can't use
push the button
connect the goddamned dots
live-in thief in my bedroom bathroom
commodity sodomy glass autonomy
promise everything take it all away
give it a rest
you're lying through your teeth
you're lying through your teeth
who what which why who
when did you say the earth would stop turning?
when did you say we would all start burning?
when should i make a pledge?
should i listen to the voices in my head?
connect the goddamned dots
connect the goddamned dots
connect the goddamned dots
who am i trying to impress?
who could care less?
tell me something i don't know
-ministry-
5:44:27 PM
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last night in pictures
3:47:18 PM
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Saturday, January 25, 2003 |
This chick is stoned and hot! I've got a redwood woody! Please let me keep pure and good. I'm thinking about being bi-curious. Bleh! - Jeffy
9:32:30 PM
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 tonight :)
getting ready to go here tonight. got my dancing shoes on and my beer drinking started.
9:10:43 PM
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thankful
i'm thankful that i've experienced love, even though it hurts eventually. sometimes i wonder if i just love wrong and that's why things end so shittily for me. but i can't help it that when i love ya, i love you with all my heart. for awhile at least ;)
i've been thinking lately, that there's no way i'll ever fall -so- in love again. that i'd keep everyone at a distance. but fuck that, what an empty relationship that'd be. so i will keep my heart open and love people the only way i know how. completely.
5:01:26 PM
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an old pic, Gov. Ventura was interviewed by Playboy magazine back in Oct. '99 and really pissed off quite a few people here in MN. anyway, i just love this pic.
2:53:37 PM
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a little snow
thousands of minnesotans can finally use their winter toys!
12:01:24 PM
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wheres all your money go?
whores you say? yeah me too
ah well
~wade
9:58:32 AM
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Friday, January 24, 2003 |
quote of the day
Yeah, the Bush administration has a serious PR problem-Jan (in the comments...)
12:25:58 AM
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Thursday, January 23, 2003 |
toys toys toys
So a girl I work with has invited me to an adult toy party, kind of along the lines of tupperware or mary kay parties. This should be interesting yes.
some items that caught my eye;
Boobalicious (i just love this word)
Great tasting drops to tantalize the taste buds.
Pulsa Bath Ball
A bath ball that vibrates! Can be used in the shower or bath for all those water adventures
and for you bondage challenged folks..
SP Beginner's Bondage Fantasy
This all in one bondage set includes: four wrist & ankle restraints with 44" long connector straps, one soft blindfold, and one 10" rubber whip. Teach your partner a few new lessons in bondage 101 with this complete set!
4:14:51 PM
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don't call me skinny
a minor rant by me
The next time a stranger decides to bellow out "You are SO skinny" to me in front of a bunch of people, I'm going to retort with, "wow, you are REALLY fat aren't you?" Don't people realize how fucking rude that is? Not to mention embarrassing. I don't know you, you don't know me, so please, spare me with the comments. Thank you.
3:54:43 PM
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coldest morning in two years!
-12 F in the cities and -26 in northern MN. Throw in the lovely windchill and it was -34F this morning.
I know I should be used to the cold but goddamn today was something else. I knew it was going to be bad when I woke up to the sound of the wind whipping past my windows. And if today wasn't payday, I'd have stayed in bed. So I layered myself up (three pants, three tops, my wool coat, a scarf and a hat. oh and gloves of course) and braved the cold cruel world that is Minnesota in January. As soon as I stepped out the front door and took a breath in, my nose froze (yum snot!) I hauled ass to the busstop and thankfully a bus was waiting for me. I wasn't so lucky downtown. I was hoping to see the bus I needed quick-like, but no, I had to wait about 20 minutes in the blasted wind. I've never been so happy to see my bus pulling up before, I practically ran to it's door. LET ME IN THIS DAMN THING! My face frozen and feeling like it's about to fall off, my hands curled into claws and my glasses fogged over (and don't forget the snot), I burst onto the bus, pay my fare and find the seat over the heater. THANK YOU BUS GOD! heat :D
Now I'm home in my somewhat warm apartment and I do not plan on leaving here until work tomorrow morning, when I get to do this all over again. I love winter. As a minnesotan, it's my duty to bitch about the weather as often as I feel necessary :) Thank you SUN for shining today, you made the day bearable.
Most of the US was feeling the cold today too.
3:14:19 PM
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Wednesday, January 22, 2003 |
The Unseen Gulf War
umm, speechless here, just go look. war sucks, religious fanatacism sucks and insane dictators (and wanna be dictators) suck. fuck you all!
11:24:56 PM
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we love canada
even the elderly are fans of canada's drugs (well the prices anyway) :)
Minnesota seniors group strikes Canadian drug deal
Rx-s about 45% cheaper than here. What the fuck is wrong with the US? Hello? Is anyone listening to the people?
9:14:39 PM
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i grew up near this lake..
Bodies of 2 teens recovered from Lake Minnetonka
Authorities had been searching for the boy since his friend, a 17-year-old girl, was found dead on the ice of Lake Minnetonka where she had apparently collapsed after crawling out of the icy water overnight.
I've been in a car on this lake in the winter. I hated every second of it. This winter has been unseasonably warm (nevermind this recent cold spell) which means unsafe ice. But some people can't resist. Every winter there are dozens of deaths due to falling thru unsafe ice.
9:02:22 PM
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fox and brainwashing?
I must admit, I love american idol! Simon is such an ass, hilarity! yes I said I love it. It's cheesy and well, it's premise is to turn someone into *gag* a pop-idol *gag* But it's fun to watch the auditions, some of those people, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I've always had a dream of singing, being a star. But I realized by the time I was eight that I can't fucking sing. Some of us just weren't meant to sing, it's cool once you accept that. You can make jokes about yourself and your horrible singing. And a tone deaf drunk on karoke night is always interesting. I guess I don't understand theses peoples' motivation to be humiliated like that. Oh well, it's good entertainment :)
Oh, and That 70's Show kicks ass.
6:05:20 PM
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thanks Jan!
Go have a read...
5:26:39 PM
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detached
My friend sent me a link to the ACLU's page on privacy and big brother. does this freak you out? it really doesn't me.....
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Should it? I guess I am not too worried about privacy (duh) so why should I worry too much about surveilence and stuff? I use a credit card, I'm here in the networld, I use the post office, I use my SSN on all job, credit card, school etc etc applications. I have a phone. If someone wanted to find me, my guess is if you know the right people, well, it's not gunna be too hard.
Although the idea of someone "spying" on me is slightly eerie, I can't be bothered to get worked up about it, the idea of it. Not yet anyway. I can still read, think, speak, listen to whatever I want.
Maybe I just have faith in humanity, we won't allow things to get out of control. No matter how grim things look, there is the hope. Lessons learned, mistakes NOT repeated. ya know, one of these days we will get it (not holding my breath though ;) )
4:40:10 PM
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Tuesday, January 21, 2003 |
pot in the news
is marijuana really a gateway drug? two studies suggest maybe so. I don't think so but what the hell do I know? :)
8:15:22 PM
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testtime
thanks Amanda :) I took this test over at emode.
so why am I still single?? hehe
Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable?
4:54:47 PM
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Monday, January 20, 2003 |
here's a nice bedtime song
The Nobodies
Today I am dirty
I want to be pretty
Tomorrow, I know I'm just dirt
Today I am dirty
I want to be pretty
Tomorrow, I know I'm just dirt
We are the nobodies
we wanna be somebodies
when we're dead,
they'll know just who we are
We are the nobodies
we wanna be somebodies
when we're dead,
they'll know just who we are
Yesterday I was dirty
wanted to be pretty
I know now that I'm forever dirt
Yesterday I was dirty
wanted to be pretty
I know now that I'm forever dirt
We are the nobodies
we wanna be somebodies
when we're dead,
they'll know just who we are
We are the nobodies
we wanna be somebodies
when we're dead,
they'll know just who we are
Some children died the other day
we fed machines and then we prayed
puked up and down in morbid faith
you should have seen the ratings that day
Marilyn Manson
11:19:02 PM
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offbeat news from cnn...
DNA music
10:51:00 PM
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hahah!
need an adventure? try a clothing optional flight!
A travel agency that specializes in clothing-optional vacations has chartered a 172-seat Boeing 727 for a flight from Miami to Cancun in May. Once the plane reaches its cruising altitude, passengers will be invited to disrobe.
sounds...interesting.
3:57:43 PM
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Sunday, January 19, 2003 |
winter
oooOOOo! look at what i have to look forward to this week:
Mon.
1-10 |
Tue.
-3/8 |
Wed.
-6/7 |
Thur.
-3/10 |
long johns and layers again. i want snow, none of this super cold shit!
8:08:10 PM
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more sunday viewing...
sweet sweet surprise, The Goonies!!!!
"nothing ever happens around here..."
thanks T!
11:10:17 AM
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oh brain SHUT UP. grrrrr
i hate when my mind grabs onto an idea or a thought or a conversation and just won't stop tossing it around, analyzing it from every angle.
9:57:55 AM
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Saturday, January 18, 2003 |
gin. you mutha fucker
12:58:36 AM
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gostinky
m00n
12:44:22 AM
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Thursday, January 16, 2003 |
oh no...please no..
I'm watching The Doors performing on Leno right now. BAD BAD BAD! sorry but The Doors are not The Doors without Morrison.
11:23:33 PM
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metrotransit
metrotransit bus operator #973 wins the award for the Friendliest Bus Driver in Mpls. I first encountered her about 7 yrs ago. As a suburban kid moving to the city and riding the bus for the first time, she really left an impression on me. How could she be so happy ALL the time? and so damn nice? I haven't been on a bus she commanded for a few years now so I was pleasantly surprised to see her again. Usually riding the bus means keeping my head down and avoiding the nuts, who have a habit of starting up a conversation I want no part of but tonight's ride was quite nice.
8:50:01 PM
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just another freak in the freak kingdom
-fear and loathing in las vegas
8:36:58 PM
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Today I visited one of my favorite shops in Minneapolis, Saint Sabrina's.
I also dyed my hair tonight....
it's called "Blood Red"
8:33:28 PM
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Wednesday, January 15, 2003 |
NOTE TO MY READERS:
You do NOT have to be HIGH to enjoy these tunes!
Thank you for your time.
6:51:52 PM
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the best of MN music
The Replacements.
from the album Tim, a melancholy tune, ~Here Comes A Regular~
Well a person can work up a mean mean thirst
after a hard day of nothin' much at all
Summer's passed, it's too late to cut the grass
There ain't much to rake anyway in the fall
And sometimes I just ain't in the mood
to take my place in back with the loudmouths
You're like a picture on the fridge that's never stocked with food
I used to live at home, now I stay at the house
And everybody wants to be special here
They call your name out loud and clear
Here comes a regular
Call out your name
Here comes a regular
Am I the only one here today?
Well a drinkin' buddy that's bound to another town
Once the police made you go away
And even if you're in the arms of someone's baby now
I'll take a great big whiskey to ya anyway
Everybody wants to be someone's here
Someone's gonna show up, never fear
'cause here comes a regular
Call out your name
Here comes a regular
Am I the only one who feels ashamed?
Kneeling alongside old Sad Eyes
He says opportunity knocks once then the door slams shut
All I know is I'm sick of everything that my money can buy
The fool who wastes his life, God rest his guts
First the lights, then the collar goes up, and the wind begins to blow
Turn your back on a pay-you-back, last call
First the glass, then the leaves that pass, then comes the snow
Ain't much to rake anyway in the fall~
Then there's the fun, ~Beer for Breakfast~....hrmm I can't find the lyrics anywhere. And Westerberg mumbles a bit sometimes. See The Replacements Misheard Lyrics Page for proof! Here's the first verse (He does not start out mumbling hehe)
All I wanna drink is beer for breakfast
All I wanna eat is them bar-b-q chips
All I want is someone just to try to protect us
You can try but you never wanna try to defect (i think....) us
some sites:
a review of their All For Nothing/Nothing For All greatest hits release from their recordings with Sire.
a fan site with rare mp3s you can download.
another good fan site with early video clips and tons of pictures and more music.
[grrrrr! I can't find my Tim CD, I have the case but no CD :( ]
4:11:49 PM
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smart asses!
an oldie from jimmy soul...
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart
But if you make an ugly woman your wife
you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meals on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
Sax solo
Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match
Take it from me, she's a better catch
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
Spoken:
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you (repeat 4x)
and from NOFX
We wrote this song, it's not too short, not too long
It's got back-up voc's in just the right places
It's got a few oohs and ahhs
It takes a little pause
Just before I sing the f word
Please play this song on the radio
Almost every line is sung on time
Almost every verse ends in a rhyme
The only problem we had was writing enough words
But that's okay, because the chorus is
Coming up again now
Please play this song on the radio
Please play this song on the radio
Right about this time
Some shithead will be drawin a fat fucking line
Over the title on the back sleeve, what an asshole
So mr. DJ, i hope you already made your segway
Or the FCC is gonna take a shit right on your head
Can't play this song on the radio
3:02:55 PM
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I'm stealing again...
from Secular Blasphemy again, Jan found this cool little site: Baked Canuck. I think I'll be getting myself a pair of these. GO Canada, legalize it! Here are two articles I posted on the nineth about Canada and Pot.
2:52:37 PM
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Tuesday, January 14, 2003 |
the RAVE act
THE RAVE ACT RETURNS
Okay here's the original RAVE act from the 107th congress:
S2633
a snip..
To prohibit an individual from knowingly opening, maintaining, managing, controlling, renting, leasing, making available for use, or profiting from any place for the purpose of manufacturing, distributing, or using any controlled substance, and for other purposes. bold mine
or go here to view the actual bill in pdf.
I certainly don't like seeing a bunch of kids rolling on E when I go out dancing but this act is just bad news. Why don't politicians get that education is the best tool against drug abuse? (and I firmly believe there is a difference between drug abuse and drug use.) and why can't we have candid discussions about responsibilty and drug experimentation with kids/people/whoever is interested. On one hand we (as a society) say eat, drink, and be merry (just give me that Rx please!) while lamblasting those bad bad bad drugs that the government deems we shouldn't be able to consume.
I also don't see how a club owner is responsible for people using in his club if the club's policy is no drug use on premises. And which clubs don't have that policy? or hotels for that matter? The law is that certain drugs are illegal, if you decide to use them or carry them on you, then you must face the consequenses even if you disagree with the law.
the above brought to you by the posters on mnVibe, go here and here to check out the discussion if yer so inclined.
a great article from citypages.com written in aug 2002, Generation Ecstasy Comes Down.
11:47:59 PM
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reading forums before bed
cool site I found, dillerdesign.com. he's got some great pictures and 3D art.
10:34:41 PM
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4 1/2 year old murder case put to rest in small town Minnesota
"authorities closed the book on the case of the 16-year-old Hallock girl who was killed as she roller-bladed north of town on a July night in 1998." from startribune.com. They missed one oh so crucial question in their initial questioning...what kind of car do you drive. They quoted, on the local FOX news last night, a friend of Cedergren's. The buddy said that after passing a billboard with Julie's face on it, he asked Cedergren if they'd ever catch the guy that did that. Cedergren said "he'll kill himself before they catch him."
ps. local FOX news guys, please please fill the hour time slot you have with news and not chit-chat. nice, and their link is down at the moment... bleh.
9:09:46 PM
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oh yea mickey D's
Now I remember why it's been two months since I've eaten McDonald's. bleh
Does anyone else nickname fast food joints? Taco Hell, Burger Slut, Scrubway......??
Anyway, since I've been living on a tight budget since mid-year, I've taken to eating less and less fast food. Which is probably a good thing but man, when I opened up that quarter-pounder I bought today, the smell was delicious! but, it's safe to say that I'll not be consuming any fast food burgers anytime soon.
6:26:00 PM
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mom's
kids: Mooooooooommmm! where are YOU going?
mom: Crazy, wanna come with me?
I wonder if she still has her t-shirt that asks: What part of NO don't you understand?
6:15:16 PM
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OH CANADA!
or musicians from Canada I particularly enjoy listening to
my short list....
first, I give you Richie Hawtin or Plastikman. or as my roommate calls him, God.
A typical techno type then? Adheres to one of the stereotypes anyway, but despite the geek chic Canadian Richie makes some of the most potent, visceral and technologically advanced music you’re ever likely to hear
next, I present the band that should get some sort of award for having the sexiest voice ever in the history of rock-n-roll singing for them, Jeff Martin. The band is called The Tea Party. They are good. Trust me.
and last on this short list are The Tragically Hip. Great lyrics, good tunes and if you ever get a chance to see Gord Downie and the rest of the Hip on stage, go!
6:11:10 PM
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you know you're broke
when you find a who-knows-how-old cigarette in the bottom of a purse and you smile and thank the cig gods. *lights up*
when you gather all your pennies together and lug a three pound bag on the bus to the bank to get dollars.
when you 'treat' yourself to McDonald's for dinner.
5:18:53 PM
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rising moon
the bus stop
4:41:48 PM
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Monday, January 13, 2003 |
fresh
music at work
wow, well today was an eclectic music day.
Dead Kennedy's
NOFX
The Smiths
a live Pixies show
The Cure
NIN
Rammstein*
The Replacements
Phish
The Ramones
Nirvana
String Cheese Incident
The Tragically Hip
L7
*thanks Jan!
3:07:15 PM
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mememememe
in case you were wondering.....more pointless stuff about ME :)
I'm a lefty. But I've adapted fairly well to the right handed world. I don't use special left handed scissors or can openers. I don't write with a hooked wrist, although I used to write "mirror image" - right to left, until my kind kindergarten teacher started slanting my paper to the right. Thank you Mrs. Trout! I also write better right handed on a chalk board (do they even -use- chalk boards nowadays?) I throw a ball with my right hand but play pool left-handed. I smoke with either my right or left hand, which ever one is closest to the ashtray (don't laugh, watch a righty smoke, majority of them will only use their right hand.)
I have an extra vertebra in my lower back.
I never nor will I ever have wisdom teeth.
I am going blind. I've inherited a lovely eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa or RP which
is an eye disease that affects a person's night vision and peripheral vision. It is a genetic disorder that is usually hereditary. Symptoms start with decreased night vision and later progress to a diminishing of peripheral vision. The rate of decline varies depending on the genetic makeup of the disorder and also varies somewhat in individuals.
I've lost about 20% of my peripheral vision, my father has lost over 80%. He can still read, watch tv and use a PC though. I tend to trip over feet or people sitting on floors in dark places. I've also run straight into people who are standing up! But when it's too dark, I can't see you! I carry a mini maglite in my bag. I also stub my poor toes a lot. This condition is not helped by my general klutziness either!
My parents are still married after 30+ years and raising 5 kids (well almost done with the "raising" part, last kid turns 18 this summer.) All five of us kids had the same kindergarten teacher. We lived in a 3 bedroom/1 bathroom house 'til I was 16. Then Dad added on two more bedrooms and another bathroom (FINALLY!)
12:26:00 AM
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Sunday, January 12, 2003 |
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Saturday, January 11, 2003 |
sexy music: aphrodite
to go out or not. it's cold, i'm tired but there is dancing to be done! i'm torn.
5:40:30 PM
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"im sick of watchin birds spill
im sick of chasin dollar bills
im sick of systems tryin to seal my fate
i’d rather taste the sunshine with some endo
i wanna climb waterfalls all day
i wanna open sky with my psychedelic eye
i wanna ride around the world today
and if i never make it home
i know my soul is gonna roam
im gonna ride until my dying day"
... Do not enter if you are not a Kottonmouth Kings fan. All users of this website
have read and agree to the User Agreement of this site. WARNING! ...
4:56:11 PM
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so much music...
...not enough time! I think I'll be losing it soon, there is just way too much music to listen to! I'm sitting here burning cds and trying to psych myself up to brave our very wintery weather today. 14 F but it feels like 5 F. brrrrr. At least it finally feels like winter. My tough winter skin hasn't been properly allowed to grow because of this bizarro winter. bleh!
Yesterday was my brother K's 26th Birthday. Happy Birthday K!! I wish we were still close but we all live with the choices we make in life. Hope you are happy at least.
On a discussion board I frequent, one of the poster's is bitching about her new roomie. I want to state that I'm so lucky to have The Best Roomie In the World. It's been about 3 months since I moved in here and still, it's all good. We just live well together. No fights, no anger, no nothing but lots of fun, laughs and interesting conversations.
Last night, my friends Jeffy and the Sassy one came over bearing presents. A pizza to share and Trivial Pursuit to play. My all-time favorite game :) We played it with a twist though, get a pie question correct, you not only get a pie but a hit too! weeeeeeeeeee! What a fun way to play eh? I started off hot, rolled a six to play first and on my first turn, landed on a pie (pink like yer pussy ;) ) I most assurdedly answered correctly and enjoyed my hit to start off the game. Lots of laughter and crazy antics. When the game finally dissolved (which is bound to happen especially with weed and the players invovled, hehe. I think the roomie was the first to wander off....) I was in second place after Jeffy. He's just too damn smart! But one day I will KICK HIS ASS :P
After testing our brains with Trivial Pursuit, I tossed in Guy Ritchie's "Snatch", a movie I'd wanted to see forever but since I don't rent movies or have cable TV, I'd not gotten around to it yet. Enjoyed the flick, but I will need to see it again as I was kind of in lala land while watching. Brad Pitt kept distracting me. Man, he is hot.
Time to bundle up and face the cold.
2:45:06 PM
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Friday, January 10, 2003 |
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Thursday, January 09, 2003 |
my friend scott's music, The Synthy Site, so far just one track but he promises more.
11:22:17 PM
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HIGH COURT? Justice Rules Canada's Pot Rules Invalid
"In a much-anticipated ruling on January 2, Justice Douglas Phillips of the Ontario Court of Justice Youth Court threw out charges of possession of about 5 grams of marijuana against a 16-year-old youth from Windsor, ON. Ruling that Canada’s pot laws are invalid, Justice Phillips said that Parliament had “failed to address problems with Canada’s marijuana laws,” according to a report from the Canadian Broadcasting Company. "
Toronto Star Article
7:54:26 PM
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tears today
well it happened, I started to cry at work today. I was listening to tunes all day (more on that below) and Beck's Lonesome Tears came on. And next thing I know, I'm welling up with emotion. I shouldn't have been surprised I guess. The same thing happened about a month ago when I was shrooming and the video for Lonesome Tears came on. The song is so beautiful and unbelievably sad. I can just feel the emotions running through Beck and they seem to cut right into me, into the place I shove all my feelings about Bill. We broke up a year and half ago and I thought I was so over the whole mess. But I guess not. I know breaking up was the best thing for me, for both of us really. We were just not healthy for each other. But damn, five years with someone is a long time and I never allowed myself to grieve the loss of our love. I immediately got attached to someone else. I thought I was being smart, getting attached to someone who lived across the Atlantic from me, it felt safe. I had someone who cared for me but I also had my independence. The perfect solution for someone like me who was (is??) terrified of being alone. Unforntunately, I ended up causing a lot of bad feelings between my online boyfriend and myself. And I'm adult enough to realize that it mostly was my fault. I pushed for more then I realized that wasn't what I wanted and pushed away. Yup, my neediness, my selfishness and my stupidity in dealing with my feelings made for a messy situation. Thankfully, I've been able to apoligize and we made friends recently. But did I learn my lesson? Not yet....seems I'm destined to keep fucking up. On to my next interest. This time I thought, okay let's keep this low-key, I don't want a boyfriend but I want a physical relationship. The solution? Friends with benefits. Well, that failed horribly and this time I was the one that got hurt. But that's okay really because I knew if anyone was going to get hurt, it was going to be me.
So yeah...I miss my best friend, that one person that knows you so well, that person that can read your face and know exaclty what kind of day it was. That feeling, when you know you are so loved by someone. I miss that! But it's okay, it is. it's OKAY to be alone. I'm doing fine, I'm completely unattached, I am not even the slightest interested in anyone. Which is exactly where I need to be. But today, hearing Lonesome Tears just brought to the surface all my fears and insecurities surrounding love considering my past record.
music
If you like the pixies, definitely check out Frank Black and the Catholics. Today I listened to the album pistolero. Check out the tunes Bad Harmony, I Switched You, I Love Your Brain and You're Such A Wire.
I also listened to Built To Spill's Keep it like a Secret. Check out You Were Right and Carry the Zero.
I'll leave you with the song that describes my August/September 2002 when I spent some time in a fucked up place :)
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here
She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
radiohead
5:27:51 PM
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Wednesday, January 08, 2003 |
Death to the Pixies
a couple of my favorite pixies tunes:
"The Sad Punk"
I smell smoke
that comes from a gun
named extintion
it was a long time ago
could have happened to anyone
he was struck by a bullet
and he melted into fluid named extintion
one thousand miles an hour
i'm just like anyone
i want to feel
the road of tar beneath the wheel named extinction
and evolving from the sea
would no be too much time for me
to walk beside you in the sun
i read something
about a son of a gun
named extinction.
"Dead"
you crazy baby bathsheba, i wancha
you're suffocating you need a good shed
i'm tired of living, shebe, so gimme
dead
we're apin' rapin' tapin' catharsis
you get torn down and get erected
my blood is working but my, my heart is
dead
hey
whaddyah know?
you're lovely
tan belly
is starting to grow
uriah hit the crapper, the crapper
uriah hit the crapper, the crapper
uriah hit the crapper, the crapper
dead
8:18:19 PM
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*i was scolded for not using caps so here you go...with caps and all :P*
digging in
Well now that I'm feeling better and had a real nights rest, I want to point out some of the interesting things I found in the marijuana special report I linked to yesterday.
This article, Cannabis link to mental illness strengthened, piked my interest since my family has a history of mental illness. Three studies seem to indicate that regular, daily use of weed results in a higher chance of the user developing depression, schizophrenia and/or anxiety. The author does point out that "and it is still not clear whether cannabis can cause these conditions in people not predisposed by genetic factors, for example, to develop them."
Sooo are potheads the world over going to go crazy??? Well, I think all of us are nuts in little ways so I'm not too worried. Yes, of course, some people should not use mj. That's obvious, just like some people should stay away from alcohol. I am not one to say that mj is totally harmless but it is not anymore harmful than alcohol. If you are a user, you must take responsibilty for your use. Please don't tell me that because of the higher percentage of mental disorders in longtime, daily potheads verses non-potheads leads lawmakers to the conclusion that pot should stay illegal. (as i smoke my highly dangerous cigarette and drink my highly caffeinated Mountain Dew.) and I say, if I'm going to go insane, I might as well enjoy my ride ;)
One thing lawmakers need to realize is that people are going to smoke weed. That's a fact. In Go ahead, ask a cop for dope. The Dutch don't mind, Korf, from the Institute of Criminology at the University of Amsterdam, says, "There is no appreciable causal connection between the Dutch decriminalisation of cannabis and the rate at which cannabis use has evolved."
Smoking weed a little once and again won't make you stupid, see Pot luck .
Another good article on the effects of weed on the brain, Claim ONE: "Critical skills related to attention, memory and learning are impaired among heavy users of marijuana . . ."
I liked this study because it presents both pro and con arguments regarding the issues surrounding marijuana and manages to avoid shoving over-the-top claims at you with no backing.
6:42:02 PM
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oh joy oh bliss
the happy fairy has just visited and guess what? no more achy throat/mouth bs.
not much to say on my end so here's some reading if you're interested:
this marijuana special report from new scientist held my interest tonight (basically i got lost in there, lots of info.)
the grammy nominations. umm, i haven't purchased any cd of any one listed there so i think i'll be skipping this years show.
it felt like spring here today, when the temps reached spring like highs. welcome to bizarro winter II.
and this cartoon
a picture from saturday night:
12:04:27 AM
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Monday, January 06, 2003 |
music
techno:
MikeG, go here to read his bio and listen to his tracks.
drum n bass:
Garrett, click here for his tracks.
10:31:44 PM
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well it's not strep, thank god. i couldn't have afforded the medicine anyway. but this means i have to suffer with this shitty throat/mouth pain until the stupid virus decides to go away. i'm normally not such a baby but it hurts to eat anything and that pisses me off.
*whinewhinewhinewhine*
now that you know more about my health than you ever cared, i will say goodnight. nyquil dreams coming up!
8:35:50 PM
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oh CRAP!
i'm sick damnit! and i have no health insurance. so tonight i will visit a free community clinic. this should be interesting eh? oh and whoever gave me this, i want to personally rip out your throat and stomp on it! my throat, jaw, teeth and gums feel bruised, like i got punched -inside- my mouth. not to mention the lovely hot/cold flashes. i love sweating to death and then five minutes later shaking so bad from the chills.
fuck you bad germs!
3:21:08 PM
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Sunday, January 05, 2003 |
signs of a good weekend:
sore feet, sore legs, sore ass
wild hair
tired as hell
so many pics!
thinking about bed RIGHT now and it's not even 9pm!
sore throat (damn the ciggies)
and last but not least: i fucking stink!!! because i think showering on sundays is sacrilegious.
simpsons quote from tonight's show:
Homer: Do you have to poop?
Grampa: Always....
8:10:50 PM
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Friday, January 03, 2003 |
got some time on your hands? have a look-see at citypages' Artists of the Year for 2002. (grrr, typos in the damn article! i hate that)
ADVENTURES IN SEWING
well, it's about time i attempt to hem this fancy dress i need to wear tomorrow evening for a wedding. i just hope i don't butcher the thing! at least, as far as bride's maid dresses go, it's quite pretty. and if i can get this right, it will still be pretty -after- the hem job. i can't bitch too much about having to do this, i did bring this situation upon myself. slacker-extraordinaire, that's me.
3:34:13 PM
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Thursday, January 02, 2003 |
music
go here to DL some morebeat.
i saw these guys at a halloween party: live 11-30-02 (about a 50 minute set.)
3:01:25 PM
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Wednesday, January 01, 2003 |
RAVES
i've come into the rave scene a little late in life i know but it fascinates me. last night, surrounded by sweaty, happy, dancing people i realized that it doesn't matter that i'm 10 years older than most of the kids there. and on saturday nights when plush is packed and the dance floor is pulsating with the heat of all the dancers, it matters not that plush is a club but that people are out and enjoying music.
why is it that when i'm dancing to techno or many of it's variables, i can't stop smiling? why do certain tracks make me break out into laughter? why do my feet start moving with a mind of their own as soon as my ears hear the boooom-cha booom and my body feels the bass?
when i'm really into the groove, i dance with my eyes closed. in my head, i move out of and away from the crush of the crowded dance floor. it's just me and the music. it's my happy place and i have not a care in the world. move move move, the beats wash over me, bass vibrating off my body, making the hair on my arms stand on edge. the music communes with a place deep inside me, a place where my fears and insecurities don't exist and i feel free.
10:37:08 PM
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TA-DA
i'd like to be able to say that i have some vision, some glimmer of an idea of what i want this blog to be but alas, i'll just have to wait and see what shape this takes.
i do not expect to get many readers, i'm mostly doing this for myself. you see i hate writing. well okay i don't hate it truly or i wouldn't even be here. i guess really, i hate the process of writing, of actually getting my thoughts from my brain to paper. someone needs to invent a brain idea recorder thingy, would make all this a whole hell of a lot easier! i also fear that i truly suck at it. a friend, whose writing i really respect, recently asked if i've thought about blogging here. yes i said but you know me, chickenshit about my writing. just write was his reply. OK. so here i am.
5:26:52 PM
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© 2003 Harmony
Last Update: 11/9/2003; 4:22:12 PM
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