Shit Happens..... So I'm now quite certain that there is no future for me and my IM girlfriend. I
got an e-mail from her, over a week ago, that said, "Hi I'm on with my life now and dating someone
new. Thought you'd like to know. It been a while for me now. Hope your
relationship is going well. I wish you the best."
Greeaaat, that is really what I needed to hear. Thanks for clarifying that for
me, and what good timing too? I guess it was her way of saying bye. Everyone needs that I suppose. So I'll
do my best to wash my hands of her. Unfortunately, she is sort of like red wine
on white carpet, really hard to get out.
I guess I'm lucky really. I could be sitting in a friends apartment with him
staring at me wondering when I'm going to leave, or replace the food that I've
eaten. Or worse I could be at the shelter, or on the street, or dead!!! I may be
overeacting a little.
No I'm lucky, I'm still in my/our house and I still have a place to go at night.
Not bad really. Not too many people are allowed to hang around while they are
trying to figure out their own personal meaning of life. Most are booted to the
curb and no amount of begging will get them off of it.
So am I better off now than I was about 2 months ago? Sure I think so. The idea
of death is really not very attractive anymore.
I would have made a pretty big mistake if I would have walked. I know now that
first I would be completely alone in trying to deal with this. Also my life,
even as miserable as it sometimes is right now, would be worse. Cool, not only
would I have been a complete wreck, I would have doomed to repeat the same
mistakes in the future. At least I know what I did was not right but it allows
for an opportunity that was not there before. Self Discovery.. Woo Hoo.
Hey as my therapist says.. "Ya know, Shit happens..."
8:45:08 AM 
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