Fun Times...Raw Nerves..
The trip to Hawaii was more than I could have expected. I am a very well traveled person but nothing could prepare me for what was there. The travel to, and from, Hawaii is some of the most miserable time you will ever spend on a plane or in an airport. Twenty-four hours traveling is never a good thing!
If you have never been, Hawaii is one of the most beautiful and romantic places in the world. This trip was planned over a year ago and could not have come at a better time. I feel as though we really reconnected. We had fun together for the first time in several years. We made promises that we intend to keep and had experiences that we intend to cherish. All in all it was a very good time.
While I was there I was pleasantly suprised that any memory of my "girlfriend" did not trigger any kind of emotional response. You have no idea how happy it made me when the memory would disappear as quickly as it had appeared. I found myself thinking about her on purpose simply to make the memory go away again. It was a completely liberating experience. The distance and change of scenery had done wonders. I felt new again.
On returning home the slap of reality hit me in the face. I guess that is normal when you return from a vacation. We arrived at home on Saturday and Sunday was spent recovering from jet-lag. Monday when I went to work, things reminded me of what was and the memory did not go away quickly. I was frustrated and quite upset about it. I had done so well, why now? It felt like the toothache you forget until something hot or cold hits it. It was definately something cold this time.
That night my wife was on the computer surfing Salon. There is a wonderful story in the sex section that describes the thought processes of online infidelity. It struck an obviuos chord with me and I thought that it would allow her to better understand what I had done.
After she had finished reading the story, she went surfing some more. There was an old link that popped up from a couple of months ago linking to the personals section in Salon. Guess who's picture popped up on the screen? Not mine, hers!!!
I got hit with a barrage of questions which I answered truthfully, as I had promised to do. I had not looked at the picture for months and had purposely avoided it since it would simply be a step in the wrong direction. My wife made all kind of wild assumptions from that one picture which I had to dispell before we could begin to talk normally again. There was never any yelling or fighting, just alot of raw nerves.
9:38:35 AM 
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