Date Made in Hell
Curve Magazine,
Feb 2003
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Curve magazine has polled their staff for the Curve guide to lesbian dating. Here’s their list of dating don'ts:
- DON’T work out your “issues” via e-mail. — Julia Bloch, Assistant Editor
- DON’T get so loaded that you fall asleep before the evening is over. — Máire Walsh, Catalog Manager
- DON’T touch the hot sauce with your fingers. — Jeanne Graves, Production Manager
- DON’T copy her haircut. — Nathalie Peterson, Photo Editor
- DON’T introduce your ex to your new girlfriend. — Mary O’Neal, Intern
- DON’T give her your number if you don’t want her to call. — Gretchen Lee, Managing Editor
- DON’T give her a brand-new toothbrush on the first overnight stay. — Kas Neteler, Art Director
- DON’T try to be housemates with an ex. — Joanna Bock, Intern
- DON’T go Dutch. If you asked her out, offer to pay. — Rene Stevens, Production Assistant
- DON’T say, “I don’t know; what do you want to do?” — Evie Leder, Web Producer
And I have to add:
- Don’t talk about your ex on the first date.
- Don’t talk about your bad breakup on the first date.
- Don’t talk about how hard it is to be friends with your ex on the first date.
–See the pattern here? Get it?
I have been accused of being picky....more than once. I have been told that my pickiness is the reason I’m still single. Hmmmm......not sure. Here’s my list, you be the judge!
There’s not much chance of a future with me if:
- You live at “home” and you’re over 30.
- Your idea of a career is a job that requires you to ask “Would you like that supersized?”
- You live with your ex. And I don’t want to hear about how the two of you are best friends and ‘share’ a house. You don’t need me in the mix.
- You’re missing front teeth.
- You’re a sloppy, obnoxious drunk. At least be an entertaining drunk!
- You smoke. I know it’s harsh and judgmental...oh well, this is my list!!
- You think that the weekends were made for football, or baseball, or basketball, or golf. Again it's my list--you can make your own!
- You could never imagine doing something “so drastic” as moving or changing jobs.
- You have rabbit eating pets. This one is from Martin, my house bunny. Take it up with him (he'll win--he's cute!).
- Your life is set to country music. Yee-haw!
1:04:53 PM 
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