Don't blow it
Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, so I asked some of my friends their opinions of the do’s and don’ts of Valentine’s Day. Here are the publishable* bits of what I heard:
- Don’t talk about your ex, where you went with your ex last Valentine’s Day, the beautiful necklace that your ex gave you...etc. (you get the idea!) In fact, for this night you have never loved anyone else–ever. Believe me, this is critical!
- Don’t give a really cheap generic gift. On some holidays it is the thought that counts, but on this one, the wobble-head bear with “I ♥ you” on his chest is not going to cut it!
- Don’t buy the joke card instead of the romantic one....unless you are really afraid to tell her that you love her. In which case, the joke will be on you next week when she goes out with your best friend.
- Don’t take her shopping to pick up thoughtful treats to give everyone at the office and then not get her something better....unless you want to spend all of your time with the girls at the office. (hmm...in some cases this might not be so bad!)
- Don’t make plans to go out with friends unless you know for sure that she wants to go out with them also. This is a tricky one, because if you ask she will say it’s okay. It is probably not okay. How do you find out her true feelings? Ask your 8-ball, flip a coin, or look for signs in the clouds. It doesn’t matter....you have a 50/50 chance of screwing this one up no matter what you do!
- Don’t go dutch.....you can live without lunch next week, but do you really want to live without sex?
- Don’t sample the chocolates before you give them to her. The empty spot in the box will be noticed!!
So where’s the positive stuff....what should you do?
- Do plan something romantic for just the two of you (a fireside blanket picnic maybe?)
- Think only of her and how wonderful it is to spend this time with her.
- Paint a huge red heart on your bottom and don’t wear panties!
Make your own cool candy hearts here.
Thanks Jennie of mr trinity
Bitter chocolate, dead flowers, evil candy hearts
Salvador Dali
Three of Swords, tarot deck
Want something to do tomorrow night that won’t make you feel like a loser for being alone on this one f*cked up night of the year? ifilm
has put together a list
of the top 12 ‘Anti-Valentine’ films, that range from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf to Sid and Nancy. So curl up on your couch with some popcorn, watch these films and find out why you are glad
that you’re single!
7:24:18 PM 
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