A Few Quiet Moments
But they won’t last. We leave Friday, just four short days from now, heading to sunny Florida. We will be enjoying the Animal Kingdom Lodge and the Wilderness Lodge as well as the many parks. Smack in the middle of all the fun is the BIG day. Our wedding!!!
I am getting very excited. The kids are getting very excited. My fiancé, while calm on the outside, is very excited.
We have six days at Disney World, three of which will be spent with family and friends. The other three will be with our newly formed family. I’m so glad we will have these few days alone with the kids.
On a slightly different topic, I’ve had some very interesting comments on recent posts about my two ex’s – husband and boss. Much of my frustration and perhaps even bitterness is usually aimed at myself.
I’ve rarely been one to really stick up for myself, even when I’m very justified in doing so. I spend a lot of time brooding over what I did wrong or what I could have done differently to change things.
Fact of the matter is, my ex-husband had an affair, broke up our family and then blamed me for it. My ex-boss couldn’t take accountability for his own decisions and pawned that blame on his employees. Using lies and false accusations to get rid of the people he’d done this to.
Am I bitter? No. I don’t think I am. I would be 100% happier if I never had to see my ex-husband again, but that isn’t possible because my children deserve the chance to know him. He has no further control over me and can no longer pawn his failings on me. What he does now is pawn them on my children. They suffer for his short-comings and selfishness.
What I do feel then if not bitterness is helplessness. Mainly, because I won’t stick up for myself and to a certain extent my children. I will kill myself to give the kids everything they deserve even though their father is unwilling to do his half. Some would say (many family and friends of mine) that I should force him to live up to his responsibilities. Maybe at some point I will gain the confidence in myself to do this. Until that time, I get my payback through my writing.
7:23:53 PM 
|
