Today's AP Roundup (I always like getting the AP wire and reading it before anything else, before the New York Times and the Washington Post have a chance to monkey with the news):
Big News: Unnamed government sources say the info used to raise the nation's Terrorist Alert Status to Orange ("high") was probably false. Although Bush has heroically decided to plow onwards, making a speech at FBI headquarters today on what the country is doing to defend itself against terror attacks. In Winsted, CT a guy wrapped his house in Saran Wrap, and librarians in Windsor CT are frisking everyone who returns overdue books, in case they might be terrorists. Meanwhile, a fire marshal told me today that people who buy duct tape and plastic to seal up their houses are basically courting death by carbon monoxide.
Other Big News: Hans Blix delivered his Valentine's Day report to the U.N. today, announcing that inspectors had not found any weapons of mass distruction and that Iraq was being more cooperative. Inspectors "have not found any such weapons, only a small number of empty chemical munitions, which should have been declared and destroyed," he said. I'm sure this has led to a massive change of heart at the White House, and that war has now been averted.
The Roundup:
Iran's Supreme Court lifted the death sentence on a popular university professor, another major victory for reformers in that country. . . Colin Powell responded to Blix's report by dismissing it, saying "More inspections - I'm sorry - are not the answer," while his master, W. Bush, continued to say that Saddam has ties to terrorist networks, days after British and French intelligence shredded that claim. . . An EU/African summit was canceled because the Africans insisted on Zimbabwe's resident vicious dictator, Robert Mugabe . . . Romania reburied the remains of King Carol II, whom the AP says "invigorated the economy and cultural life and twice renounced the throne for love," and mentions in the last paragraph that he also established a murderously anti-Semitic dictatorship in 1938. . . Speaking of Mugabe, his thugs arrested 88 women and 8 journalists at a peace march in Harare. . . R. Kelly's alleged child pornography tapes haven't hurt his record sales or his ability to get nominated for a Grammy. . . and Dolly, the sheep who was the world's first cloned mammal (aside from Bob Goen), was euthanized. Happy Valentine's Day!
- Consider Arms
3:45:07 PM 
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