Monday, March 03, 2003

No more complaints about the bar scene I'm making a mental note not to voice any more gripes with the current state of dating, since at least it won't result in me being arrested for "illegal relationships." Although I'm sure Giuliani would have loved the concept of a "morality police" for NYC. Biters! Ask Raekwon the Chef, nobody likes a biter. The Washington Times has reported that Al Qaeda planned to use hijacked airliners from nearby Honolulu International Airport to attack Pearl Harbor a la 9-11. Memo to Al Qaeda: been there, done that. Not to fear though, a little birdy told me that other major news outlets have waved their people off the story due to the fact that it uses "a single report from a decidedly unreliable source." Let's hear it for the conservative media! - M.C. No Shame 1:57:41 PM    comment []

NZ PM: St. Paddy's Day Set for War Do you like how I'm getting more proficient at writing NY Post-type headlines? Anyway, the Prime Minister of New Zealand says the war is likely to start on or around March 17, which sounds like a reasonable guess. If so, it will further outrage me by tainting the only day us Irish-Americans don't have to feel ashamed of ourselves. Bad Ways to Spend Money, Part 1,345 Thatcher spent a billion pounds ($1.4 billion, or thereabouts) propping up Saddam Hussein's government in the 1980s. Wonder how much Blair will spend to topple that same government? There has to be a more cost-effective way to deal with unreliable dictators! The Coalition of the Slightly Less Willing Than We'd Like Condi Rice has asked the NSA to spy on Security Council members Cameroon, Chile, Bulgaria, Pakistan, Guinea, and Angola (still run by the Marxist MPLA) to monitor their deliberations over Iraq-related UN business. As far as I know, Bulgaria, Angola, and Chile have already said they agree with us: Is there no trust among the members of the Coalition of the Coerced? Planning the Next Quagmire The Kurds say they will resist the Turkish occupation of Northern Iraq in the event of a war, as well they might. More than 30,000 Turkish Kurds have been killed and a million left homeless since the insurrection began in that country's Kurdish areas in 1984. The Bush Gang, meanwhile, has promised Turkey it can do what it will to the Kurds. Yes War Witness, ye faint-hearted fifth columnists, the irresistible tidal wave of pro-war sentiment in America, as demonstrated by this monstrous turnout at a rally organized over the weekend by the Free Republic web site. Apport Alert, Part 2 Remember: "Apport" is the name given by parapsychologists to things that indicate reality is not always what it seems. For fans of "The Matrix," it's similar to the concept of deja vu. In international politics, an apport can be used to describe those times when new reports contradict previous ones without explanation. Here's one for our conspiracy-minded friends: An October 30, 2002 report from the Asia Times stating that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the President of Terrorism arrested in Pakistan over the weekend, was killed in a previous raid by Pakistani police. Demand for Freedom Fries turns ugly This has one of my all-time favorite headlines: "Demonstrators smash Peugeot to show support for U.S. troops." From the lede: "More than 100 Nashvillians turned out this afternoon to hit a French car with a sledgehammer in support of America's troops." I'm not going to point any fingers, but so far the only documented activities of what I call "freedom fry-type behavior" have been in the former slave states of North Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida. When you look where these states rank in terms of public education, you might start to put the pieces together. Every war produces its own heroes The owners of Hell are busily readying a new circle to accomodate the speculators mentioned in this article, who are snapping up property in Iraq in the belief that "once Iraqi President Saddam Hussain is removed, the land will become prime development sites for hotels, clubs and luxury homes." Also, in this vein: Heads up to anyone who owns gravestone engraving, coffin-making, or crematoria businesses! The sky's the limit for those in Iraq! Speaking of Hell. . . Roger Ailes must be fuggin' relieved. They say the first casualty of war is truth, but since an appeals court has already slain truth in the media, I guess the first casualty of this war is. . . regular programming. - Consider Arms 12:57:48 PM    comment []

Ron Jeremy arrested as mastermind of 9/11! - M.C. No Shame 12:09:24 PM    comment []

Right Watch! "Cold war liberals still don't get it" by David Limbaugh, March 1, 2003 Perhaps the only intelligent thing in Limbaugh’s column is the following: "…the conservatives’ hawkishness toward Saddam Hussein can be traced to their search, since the end of the Cold War, for new bogeymen to replace the Soviet Communists as the focus of their aggressive propensities." Of course, he goes on to say that the people who say this are wrong, but it’s still fun to play with quotes and ellipses. Limbaugh makes one thing clear: "Conservatives were right in the Cold War -- so right that liberals are pretending they were with us all along -- and they are right about Iraq." Just because the United States "won" the Cold War doesn’t mean that the conservatives’ strategy was the right one – unchecked nuclear arms proliferation? Is there no clear cause and effect study here? What about Iraq, North Korea, China, India, Pakistan, et cetera, ad nauseum – if there were no nuclear powers in the world, would they be nuclear powers? Ah, that’s a tired old argument and ancient history anyway. The how’s and why’s of the discussion will be hardly relevant when we’ve all been vaporized. God, I am such an incorrigible peacenik homo. Limbaugh continues on this path for the rest of his column, which is worth the read only if you enjoy making yourself angry. A highlight: the most unintentionally funny part of the piece is his discussion of Mona Charen’s "Useful Idiots, How Liberals Got it Wrong in the Cold War and Still Blame America First," which Limbaugh calls a "scholarly, yet page-turning read." I have a hard time believing that a book written by an inflammatory right-wing pundit with the word "Idiots" in the title would truly pass as "scholarly." I’m sure Al Franken’s "Rush Limbaugh is a Big, Fat Idiot" is a delight, but I doubt even Al would call it scholarly. David, it is sad to say that even the Limbaugh family has a shallow end of the gene pool. "A Sensible Inconsistency" by Edwin J. Feulner, Ph.D., March 1, 2003 Somebody should tell folks like Feulner here and Tucker Carlson that academic titles and bow ties don’t necessarily mean that you are not an idiot. (I’m an Eagle Scout; should I sign all of my work with a reference to that?) Although this column is respectably free of the simple-minded name-calling and hatemongering common in the work of many conservative columnists, Feulner’s piece is no less absurd. The premise: we can’t attack North Korea BECAUSE they have nuclear weapons, but we MUST attack Iraq because they MIGHT one day have them – Hussein may be turning Iraq into the next North Korea. And, for whatever reason, this is also why diplomacy is not an option with Iraq (although exactly why is not really clear to me). Basically, what he’s saying is this: we can’t attack North Korea because they are a legitimate threat and we must attack Iraq to resolve crisis (which is entirely American made, by the way) because they are not a threat. - Marcus-Marcus 10:54:25 AM    comment []

Well, it looks like they arrested the President of Terrorism in Pakistan over the weekend, so no more terrorism! While you are busy readying your rolls of ticker tape for the victory parade down Fifth Avenue, the Associated Press (http://www.ap.org) says this is the news today:   The Big News:  TURKEY SAYS NO! We here at the MLWL don't mind eating a heaping helping of crow in this case, since it means that the warmongers' plan has had a shoe thrown in the works. We assumed, like our unelected government, that the Turkish Parliament could be bought off like so many Supreme Court justices.  Au contraire, as the leaders of the free world might say! This weekend, the Turkish Parliament failed to approve a plan by which 62,000 Americans would be able to use the NATO country as a staging area to invade Iraq.  But stay tuned:  US officials have sought "clarification" of the vote, and their pliant puppets in the Turkish government could be planning to ram the overwhelmingly unpopular (97 percent of the Turkish public opposes war) measure through parliament in a second vote.    The Roundup:  Israel arrested a founder of Hamas and killed eight Palestinians in the bargain, including a pregnant woman. . . One police officer and one Red Brigades terrorist were killed in a shootout in Italy.  Hey, hasn't someone given these guys the message that there is no more terrorism since they arrested the President of Terrorism in Pakistan?. . . 19 members of the Greek November 17 group went on trial for terrorist offences (committed before the War on Terrorism ended with an arrest this past weekend). . . the Lord's Resistance Army, fighting the governments of Sudan and Uganda, has called a cease-fire in Uganda and wants to talk. . . North Korea says missile development is a sovereign right and warns that they consider proposed military excercises in the South this week "preparation for war". . . Polls suggest that anti-war sentiment in Canada is strongest in Quebec.  Quelle suprise!   - Consider Arms 10:29:00 AM    comment []

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