Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Right Watch! "Romanus Sum," by William F. Buckley, Jr., March 1, 2003 I have to admit that I respect William F. Buckley. While he is on the opposite end of the political spectrum on perhaps 99.9% of the issues, he at least has the intelligence and decency to behave professionally in his columns. His column suggests that, although he appears to have respect for the U.N. (unlike many of his conservative and Republican colleagues who wish to see it disbanded; see BuzzFlash today for more on that), he still feels that the U.S. would be right to proceed with its war absent a U.N. resolution: "The United States and…the world, stands to lose from the absence of an effective exercise of U.S. military power. We will have lost an opportunity to assert our will in a situation where we thought the exercise of it righteous, and a proper discharge of our responsibility in a world in which conventional boundaries are increasingly irrelevant." Hannity & Colmes, March 3, 2003 OK, no big surprise here: Sean Hannity supports changing the name of French fries to "freedom fries" in light of France’s resistance to the Bush Administration’s proposed war in Iraq (and you can see Consider Arms’ numerous posts on this topic for more freedom fry info). In fact, he even kicks it up a notch: "Maybe you want to call them surrender taters…" The guest was Palm Beach County Commissioner Burt Aaronson, who has proposed a resolution to officially change the name to freedom fries. Of course, the point here is this: even if you disagree with the French position on the Iraq issue, this is just fucking retarded. First of all, creatively naming your food does not (or at least would not in a rational world) serve as valid political commentary (I call broccoli "veggie tits," but nobody cares). Secondly, the French didn’t even invent French fries. WE call them French fries. Why would they even care what we call them? And, of course, Hannity offers more of this WWII bullshit: "…it wasn’t that long ago where we liberated the French from the Nazis." Listen, just because we fought in World War II 60 years ago doesn’t mean the French are obliged to listen to everything we have to say. They have the right to oppose any war they see as unjust, just as we would. Nobody should have to argue this point; it takes a kind of cynical disregard for reason to bring the World War II into the debate anyway. (Ted Rall wrote a great column about this kind of thing.) Hannity and his guest, Aaronson, go on to talk about how France was putting their economic interests ahead of the interests of security, but of course they never quite go into the fact that the U.S. also has business interests with Iraq and that the U.S. draws far more oil from Iraq than France (or any other country) does (we even doubled our draw of Iraqi oil a few months back), nor do they discuss the still-standing business deals between Halliburton (Dick Cheney) and Iraq (Saddam Hussein). If freedom fries or "surrender taters" make their way to restaurants near where I live, somebody plus just get me a fucking French work visa. - Marcus-Marcus 12:41:02 PM    comment []

"Lori Bardsley is with Citizens Against Celebrity Pundits and she's so fed up with these Hollywood types mouthing off that she's doing something about it," so sayeth Fox News. Well, super. What is it exactly that Ms. Bardsley has done? She has formed a meaningless group, CACP, with a bold vision for the future: Famous people not being allowed to say what they think. I heartily recommend you check out their website, which features a petition you can sign as well as links to stories about the activities of anti-war protesters, and to stories about Ms. Bardsley herself, a self-described "stay-at-home mom" who is evidently trying to parlay her dumb opinions into a bit of celebrity for herself. Bardsley's appeal (aside from hilarious headlines like "289 Million Americans Avoid Peace Rallies," from Feb. 15) is the natural aversion we all have to the pampered making their opinions known. What the fuck do you know, Dustin Hoffman, you who haven't done your own laundry since Johnson was President? It seems offensive that these people ("Wealthy Hollywood Celebrities," as Bardsley calls them) are nattering their inane opinions when, you know, real people are actually trying to sort out the problems of the world. I used to think this way, too. Lately, though, I am starting to realize the perhaps-obvious fact that merely having more money than Afghans have heroin and being so famous that you can't even go to the mall doesn't disqualify you from having an opinion. There's something distinctly un-American about Bardsley's vile little web site, with its disdain of wealthy people and its simpering genuflection before power ("We do not claim to know more than anyone, especially President Bush," the site tells us. Good luck, dummy!, you want to yell back). I'm nervous that things like this are going to become more and more common in the United States, like freedom fries and eBay turning over your information to the cops. I don't like the idea that disagreeing with the policies of an unelected pretender can now be seen as treasonous, and I resent the efforts by people like Bardsley to silence anyone, even Barbra Streisand. So I guess what this comes down to is: "One day you're going to wake up and know which side of the bed you've been sleeping on," as Malcolm McClaren put it in 1974. On one side of the bed are goofy famous people like Jay Z and Janeane Garofalo; on the other side, though, are Ms. Bardsley and the secret police. It's time to decide. - Consider Arms 12:39:10 PM    comment []

Smack addled While John Ashcroft is busting the hippies who run your local head shop for selling bongs and lamps, Liberated Afghanistan has once again become the world's leading producer of heroin according to a State Dept. report. The report also notes, somewhat confusingly, that "fighting illegal drug trafficking [is] key to the US war on terrorism." Um. . . how? By getting the terrorists hooked on our puppet's heroin? Number One with a bullet Apparently, the President of Terrorism and Ron Jeremy-lookalike they arrested in Pakistan over the weekend was only considered the Number 22 most wanted Al Qaeda terrorist after Sep. 11. The cynics among you will say that he has suddenly become "the mastermind" because he's the only guy they can find. Whereas I am holding out for the solemn revelation that he masterminded the murder of JonBenet Ramsay. Let's get this quagmire started! So, are we or are we not sending troops to fight in the Philippines? Who the hell knows? Not the army, apparently. Note that this article was written before today's MILF-implicating bombing. What's the tagalog for "Gulf of Tonkin resolution"? This arena better serve freedom fries! One hilarious moment in this Toni Smith brouhaha happened when the people who showed up to boo her at a recent game booed some nut who ran out onto the court with an American flag to confront her - because the nut was dragging the flag on the floor! The protesters were protesting the protester as he protested the protester, in other words. Dershowitz says torture OK Why, there's no opinion I value more than that of a guy who once defended OJ! President Bartlett: Upcoming victim of regime change NBC is feeling the pressure to fire Martin Sheen from "The West Wing," where he plays fictional US President Josiah Bartlett, because of Sheen's outspoken opposition to the war in Iraq. The network already fired Phil Donahue from MSNBC, where his show earned the highest ratings, for his antiwar views. I'm going to feel guilty watching Conan O'Brien from now on. Wear Burberry only when you swim; also, let the inspections work Ok, when Jay-Z comes out against war, you know that war is the wrong option. Here's a list of artists who signed a New York Times ad condemning war in Iraq and quoting Gen. Wesley Clark to that effect. This list is impressive in that it actually features artists I love (Fugazi, Massive Attack, Nas, Lou Reed, the aforementioned Jay Hova) as well as the usual suspects (did they even have to bother asking Steve Earle if he would sign up?). When you can get Dave Matthews, Capone & Noreaga, Brian Eno, and Ryuichi Sakamoto to agree, that's consensus, my friend. The burning question: Jay Z is representing, but where's Beyonce? - Consider Arms 12:35:42 PM    comment []

AP ROUNDUP! Note to MLWL: More pictures of terrorists misidentifying them as porno stars. In other news, this is the news, according to the Associated Press (http://www.ap.org) The Big News: The US is pushing the Security Council to vote as soon as next week on its resolution authorizing war with Iraq. The US is still short of the nine votes it needs - maybe they shouldn't have made the evil Reagan-era figure John Negroponte the ambassador to the UN. They should have gone with someone gruff yet lovable, like NYPD Blue's Andy Sipowicz (Dennis Franz). The Roundup: Turkey's leader says he will ask parliament to vote AGAIN on allowing US troops to use that country as a staging area for the invasion. Turkey's parliament should pass a "Did We Stutter?" resolution . . . A bomb attack in the Philippines that killed 19, including an American, is being blamed by the military there on the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. Want to bet this is where the shift from Abu Sayyaf to the MILF (note funny name) as Filipino Enemies Number One begins?. . . North Korean jets intercepted a US spy plane (no hostile fire was exchanged), the first such incident since 1969. "We can still resolve this with diplomacy," Bush, barely concealing his disinterest, says. . . Greek prosecutors needed six hours just to read the charges against 19 accused terrorists on trial there. Boy, remember when there used to be terrorism before they arrested the President of Terrorism last weekend? I'm glad that's over. . . The AP on Carnival in Rio: "Drug gangs spread terror throughout the city, firebombing buses, shutting down businesses, and strafing police posts with machine gun fire." All that, and the only thing I will likely remember from the story is that Rio has a 70,000-seat stadium called "The Sambadrome." - Consider Arms 10:22:58 AM    comment []

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