Friday, March 28, 2003

I think the real story here is why were there undercover cops at a anti-war rally? Freedom Fries for the people, French made gas masks for Congress Ohio Rep. Bob "Freedom Fry" Ney doesn't seem to display the same anti-Gaul sentiment towards the French owned subsidiary that makes Capital Hill's gas masks that he does towards the cafeteria's fried potatoes. In the spirit of fairness may I suggest a name change to "Lady Liberty's Cloak of Invulnerability." Freedom Fries Part Deux: The Europeans Strike Back! At least the Europeans have the savvy to differentiate between the Bush administration and the American people. Really can't say the same for Cubbie's customers. - M.C. No Shame 4:29:10 PM    comment []

TODAY'S TOP FIVE Muslims Need Not Apply at US Bases This is sure to win us some friends in the Muslim world! The US army is hiring for menial jobs at bases in Kuwait, but there's one catch - no Muslims. Hey, but I thought this war wasn't about Islam? Could the No Spin Zone have somehow misled me? So, What Did You Do in the '80s? OK, what if I told you about an American citizen who traveled to Iraq as a guest of Saddam Hussein's at a time when the UN was considering action against Iraq for using poison gas? And what if I told you this American met with Saddam to ensure low interest loans and military equipment for the dictator? And finally, what if it turned out that this American was in Iraq primarily to secure an oil deal that would benefit the dictator and a handful of American construction contractors? Well, if you're like President Bush, you'd make that American your Secretary of Defense! The Press Has Already Bungled 15 Stories on Iraq Boy, if I hear another one of these "embedded" whores talk about how they're providing better coverage than reporters in any other war ever, I'm going to scream. The BBC admitted today that it has made "daily mistakes" in covering the war, including erroneously reporting the fall of Umm Qasr NINE TIMES. Hats off, gang. Attention Syrians: Commence Sweating Balls Rumsfeld is now claiming that Syria (although, weirdly, he refuses to say whether it's the Syrian government) is sending "military supplies" to Iraq and vows to "hold the government responsible." Can we concentrate on one GD war at a time, folks? Also in this vein: the Israeli Defense Minister is demanding that the US invade Iran after Iraq. Hey Likudniks: How about "no" for a change? The Graphic of the Shirtless Guy With the Sword is Truly the Kind of Thing that Makes this Country Great Wing Nuts of the Day: Meet the awesome dudes at Protest Warrior, who are trying to create a nationwide network of pro-war counterdemonstrators similar to the network of peace demonstrators created by the likes of MoveOn.org. I will give these clueless fools one thing: They are way ahead of the anti-war folks in the "uninentionally homoerotic logo" department. -Consider Arms 3:38:10 PM    comment []

I envy you, Joe Pastula  Kudos go to Joe P. for perfectly timing his excellent adventure. Seems that the Land of Novelty (aka, Japan) has upped the bizzare trend ante once again. Baghdad gets chumped wif mad CRAZY bombs CNN's war coverage would be A LOT better if it looked like this. - M.C. No Shame 3:28:36 PM    comment []

One thing that is clear from the fighting in Iraq over the last two weeks: This is turning out to be trickier than we thought. But then, our noble leaders prepared us for this. They told us time and time again that the war in Iraq would be no picnic, that it might take months to fully dislodge the regime, and that we will all have to prepare for a bitter struggle ahead. With that said, please disregard completely the following comments: "Saddam is much weaker than we think he is. He's weaker militarily. We know he's got about a third of what he had in 1991. But it's a house of cards. He rules by fear because he knows there is no underlying support. Support for Saddam, including within his military organization, will collapse at the first whiff of gunpowder." - Richard Perle, recently resigned chairman of the Defense Policy Board, in a PBS interview July 11, 2002 "I believe demolishing Hussein's military power and liberating Iraq would be a cakewalk. Let me give simple, responsible reasons: (1) It was a cakewalk last time; (2) they've become much weaker; (3) we've become much stronger; and (4) now we're playing for keeps." - Ken Adelman, former U.N. ambassador, in an Op-Ed for the Washington Post, Feb. 13, 2002 "The read we get on the people of Iraq is there is no question but that they want to get rid of Saddam Hussein and they will welcome as liberators the United States when we come to do that. My guess is even significant elements of the Republican Guard are likely as well to want to avoid conflict with the U.S. forces and are likely to step aside." - Vice President Dick Cheney, on NBC's "Meet the Press" March 16 "The course of this war is clear. The outcome is clear. The regime of Saddam Hussein is gone. It's over. It will not be there in a relatively reasonably predictable period of time. And the people in Iraq need to know that: that it will not be long before they will be liberated." - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN March 23 "This will be no war -- there will be a fairly brief and ruthless military intervention. The president will give an order. [The attack] will be rapid, accurate and dazzling ... It will be greeted by the majority of the Iraqi people as an emancipation. And I say, bring it on." - Christopher Hitchens, Vanity Fair writer and fat drunken slob, in a debate Jan. 28, 2003 (all quotes from today's Salon) -Consider Arms 10:10:52 AM    comment []

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The US hilariously defies the UN to put an end to Saddam defying the UN. Anyone sense a certain level of Irony here? See what Rummy has to say about it here. Well, as an American abroad I see no reason to pretend to be otherwise. I mean at this point, because of my whiteness, people just assume I’m American. Maybe some Canadian flag patches would help? Has it gotten to the point where America is so hated that you shouldn’t even mention it anymore? Of course, thanks G.W.! We love ya! Bush Legs? That’s the kind of comedy you just can’t find on TV. At least others can now get in on the food renaming! - Little Joey Murder, Foreign Correspondent/Sex Machine 9:19:54 AM    comment []

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