Thursday, April 03, 2003

TODAY'S TOP FIVE More posts, more opinions, more outrage. Let's do this. How About if They Just Give Up Chocolate for the Duration? Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) has actually suggested that it is the moral duty of New York City cops and firefighters to work overtime without pay. Quoth the Senator: "Those people overseas in the desert - they're not getting paid overtime . . . I don't know why the people working for the cities and counties ought to be paid overtime when they're responding to matters of national security." It is hard to believe that the Republican Party's hatred of decent benefits for working people extends to such pathological limits, but there it is. Ted says this is needed "to find some way to convince the people that there ought to be some volunteerism at home," so I have a suggestion: How about the US Senate work without pay for the duration of the war? Any takers? Three More US Agents Die In Colombian "Quiet War" Hey, who the hell is keeping track of our wars? We've got the big one in Iraq with little ones simmering in Afghanistan, Colombia, and the Phillipines. When did we become the ADD-afflicted super power? Can we just settle down and fight one GD war at a time? It's Like Getting Banned from the Mall, But So Much Worse for Your Immortal Soul The Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, which tradition locates as being built on the spot where Jesus Christ was born, has issued lifetime bans on George Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, Tony Blair, and Jack Straw. The group of Orthodox churches that runs the site calls them "war criminals and murderers of children." Man, if this keeps up, these people are going to drive our poor president back to eating candy! Senator Wants Treason Trial for Arnett Also note the phrase "useful idiot": It is now becoming a commonplace on America's right wing. I think somebody at the RNC must have sent out a memo or something. Add Pearl Jam to the List of Bands I Have a Newfound Respect For At a recent Colorado concert, Eddie Vedder mistreated a rubber mask of our chocolate-shunning president, which caused some squeamish, 1950s-style teens to walk out. This is not as great as the unconfirmed story I heard about Mike Ness, the singer for one of my favorite bands of all time, Social Distortion. Mike was saying at a recent concert that the world has to change, and that a good place to start would be with "this fuck-up of a president we have now." Some dude in the crowd took the microphone and something to the effect of, "Mike, I like your music, but if you ever say something about our president again, I'll light you up." If you're not familiar with Social Distortion or their singer, let me just say that threatening to beat up Mike Ness on his stage is just not advisable if you don't want a ride in an ambulance. So Mike Ness beat the hell out of this dude and has been slapped with a lawsuit. Like I said, this is unconfirmed, but for future generations of Americans, we must believe it's true. -Consider Arms 2:56:19 PM    comment []

Wing-Nut of the Day: Our Unhinged President "Bush believes he was called by God to lead the nation at this time, says Commerce Secretary Don Evans, a close friend who talks with Bush every day." Well, God or the right wing Supreme Court, anyway. This article is a treasure chest of both unintentional humor ("He's being hard on himself; he gave up sweets just before the war began.") and sinister hints ("Bush doesn't keep a diary or other personal record of the events that will form his legacy. Aides take notes, but there's no stenographer in most meetings, nor are they videotaped or recorded"). Either way, it confirms my suspicion that this man is, in fact, the greatest leader in US history. -Consider Arms 10:29:40 AM    comment []

Here are two good Boston Globe Op-Eds on Richard Perle: Perle’s New World Order and the "Decay of Democracy" After the carpet bombing we'll be sending in the carpetbaggers.  Halliburton has announced that it will not bid on the State Department's lucrative Iraqi reconstruction contract, but before you congratulate Dick Cheney on avoiding a blinding conflict of interest, keep in mind that this doesn't mean that one of company's subsidiaries won't. Actually, it's already doing business in Iraq under a previous State Department contract. Favorite quote from this piece from Andrew Natsios, the USAID administrator, "We want to quickly show the world, especially Muslim countries, that we care about the Iraqi people and are ready to use our tax dollars to improve their lives." Israeli advice to US re: Baghdad: Send in the bulldozers and then get out as fast as you can. This is a very interesting article concerning urban warfare tactics that the US has been learning from their Israeli counterparts. Hit pick of this article comes from Israeli military strategist Martin van Creveld, "The Palestinians are empty handed compared to the weaponry the Iraqis have. The Americans can expect heavier casualties. Baghdad will be really brutal." They better pray to God that PETA doesn't find out about this one. (NOTE: this report, while pretty damn funny, has not been substantiated) RABAT, D.C., Morocco, March 24 (UPI) -- A Moroccan publication accused the government Monday of providing unusual assistance to U.S. troops fighting in Iraq by offering them 2,000 monkeys trained in detonating land mines. The weekly al-Usbu' al-Siyassi reported that Morocco offered the U.S. forces a large number of monkeys, some from Morocco's Atlas Mountains and others imported, to use them for detonating land mines planted by the Iraqis. The publication quoted a highly-informed source as saying, "that is not a scientific illusion but a well-known military tactic." - M.C. No Shame 10:11:25 AM    comment []

© Copyright 2003 Monster Limo Organization.