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Wednesday, April 23, 2003 |
A Plethora of Pious Posts!
MTA Officials to Be Crucified by New Yorkers Ok, I'm stretching it a bit with this one, but hopefully some divine retribution will be in store for the MTA. State Comptroller Alan Hevesi and his city counterpart William C. Thompson, Jr. allege that the MTA pulled an Enron by keeping two sets of books and exaggerating debts (which led to a $.50 fare hike to take effect May 4). Hevesi claims that through some creative accounting, the MTA's projected $537 million surplus for 2002 shrank to $24.6 million. The agency even used phoney deficit claims to block salary increases for transit workers last year. Here's your Metro Card to hell, dudes!
- M.C. No Shame
4:32:48 PM 
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TODAY'S TOP FIVE: More democratic than an Iraqi looter with a cart full of antiquities.
US Not Prepared for Strength of Iraqi Shiites Officials say they are now powerless to prevent the rise of a Muslim fundamentalist party and are "looking for allies" in the internal Iraqi power struggle. Shiites represent more than 60 percent of the population; the administration's admission would be like saying you underestimated the importance of Protestants in the Bible Belt. Incidentally, the reason we supported Saddam during the 1980s is because he put a lid on the Shiite fundamentalists; looks like the 21st Century way to spell "Saddam" is "Chalabi."
Fox News Engineer Charged with Smuggling Fair, balanced, and larcenous.
Powell: France to Be Punished for Opposing War Remember: Just because Newt Gingrich doesn't like him doesn't mean Powell's on the side of the angels. He bears just as much responsibility for this war as the rest of the rogues' gallery in the White House (and let's not even get into his role as facilitator of illegal weapons shipments to Saddam in the 1980s or in covering up the My Lai massacre).
Russian Official Warns of "Imminent Catastrophe" in North Korea Nuke Talks Are you still worrying about North Korea? Jesus, will you ever get past your September 10 outlook? It's on to Syria, where the real weapons of mass destruction are!
PETA Urges Hamburg, NY to change Name to Veggieburg I realize this might be seen as poaching in MC No Shame's domain, but I couldn't resist. It's like PETA is begging to be made an object of ridicule. On a side note: These poor deluded bastards in Hamburg think they invented the hamburger, when everyone knows that delicacy was minted at Louis Lunch in New Haven.
- Consider Arms
2:19:31 PM
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U.S. Once Again Ignores History, Culture, Geopolitics, Common Sense Could it be that the regime change happy administration failed to consider the culture, politics, and 1400 years of religious history in Iraq before sending in the Marines? But we've got Pizza Hut, contempt for Saddam, and a Shiite on our side, isn't that good enough to facilitate an explosion (no pun intended) of democracy in the Fertile Crescent? Apparently not. It is, however, a good recipe for a renewed wave of Shiite fundamentalism in the region. (p.s. I love how 12 years of sanctions against Iraq didn't topple Saddam, but they did destroy the educational system, thus allowing Islamic fundamentalism to fill the void)
Syria or N. Korea, Let's Flip a Coin Oh, so NOW we're going to start paying attention to N. Korea's saber rattling since they've announced a move towards reprocessing spent nuclear fuel rods. Well at least their WMD's won't be hard to find. Maybe we could even borrow some to "find" in Iraq.
If Arlen Specter Vouched for Him, It's All Good in My Book The latest in a series of high profile foot-in-mouth Congressional follies comes from Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania. Sen. Santorum (by the way, Metallica's "Sanitarium" plays in my head every time I read his name) feels that consensual gay sex leads to bigamy, polygamy, incest, and adultry. I think consensual gay sex leads to better sales of Madonna's new album, more fashion conscious hair cuts, and little dogs in sweaters.
- M.C. No Shame
1:57:16 PM
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Neocons Advocate Regime Change, in the State Department Not satisfied with pulling the plug on the UN and NATO, Neocons now have a new diplomatic institution they'd like to see abandoned, the US State Department. If you read this one very closely, I believe you'll see Mr. Gingrich called Sec. of State Powell "a broken instrument of diplomacy." And if the Neocons are so outraged at the prospect of Powell going to Damascus, how do they explain Rumsfeld going to Baghdad?
France To Be Picked Last in U.S. Dodge Ball Games Ok, not really, but the current administration's attitude towards France is just as juvenile. Looks like plans are in the works to marginalize French involvement in future strategic and policy making decisions as punishment for not rolling over on the issue of war with Iraq. I have a suggestion: now that there's an open spot in the Axis of Evil, let's fill it with France!
- M.C. No Shame
9:17:34 AM
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