The man even lies about writing "roses are red" poetry to his wife.
And the Winner Is... No One Here's the awards for the worst media coverage of the Bush gang and their splendid little war this year. As Bob Somerby might say, try to imagine that Katie Couric once said to a general, "I just want you to know, I think Navy SEALs rock." Well, by gum, there's that liberal bias the conservatives keep howling about.
We're Looking for Two Operatives, Possibly Code-Named "Poor Richard" and "Old Farmer" Hot new fear: People who know what the gross domestic product of Belize is. Yes, that's right: Your high-tech, terror-fighting, rights-violating FBI is now asking local police to be on the lookout for people carrying almanacs. Almanacs, you see, have a lot of information that can be useful in plotting terrorist attacks, such as when you should plant beets. Although the FBI grudgingly concedes that "the use of almanacs or maps may be the product of legitimate recreational or commercial activities," they especially want police to watch for people making notes in the margins of them, such as (presumably), writing "Kill those guys" next to the entry for "U.S. Congress." Says Kevin Seabrooke, senior editor of the World Almanac: "We're talking about information that's readily available from many other sources. The idea of using it for terrorism never even occurred to me. They certainly didn't need the Almanac to locate the twin towers."
Thank God There's No More Combat in Afghanistan Well, except for all the fighting. Yesterday, a Taliban suicide bomber killed six people, and the hardline militia (remember? The one that we destroyed back in 2002? You don't remember at all, do you?) says there are 60 more suicide bombers in Kabul. Hey, I know how we can handle this: Kill another bunch of Afghan kids by mistake.
Is "Iraqification" About to Get a Saucy Latin Makeover? Here's a fascinating article pointing out that the Bush strategy for Iraq doesn't match Vietnam, as some people keep insisting, but actually Central America in the 1980s. What was our strategy in countries like Guatamala, Honduras and El Salvador? Basically, it was that we realized we could break popular, broad-based guerrilla movements by supporting a local power structure in all its repulsiveness. The article points out that a lot of key Bush goons - Elliott Abrams, John Negroponte, Paul Bremer, Colin Powell, Dick Cheney - were first blooded in Central America, helping in the massacre of indigenous people and Catholic clergy. Hey, that sounds like good news for the people of Iraq! Uh, the people who do exactly what we say, I mean.
Overtime Stevens Does it Again Hey, remember Ted Stevens? He's that dipshit senator from Alaska who once said cops and firefighters shouldn't be paid overtime because they should be doing their jobs out of little more than a sense of "defending the homeland." Well, guess what? It turns out he's a crook! Yeah, I know, I'm totally shocked! According to this article, Overtime Ted has made a habit of doing exactly what might get Connecticut's Republican governor impeached: trading political favors for cash. So, he's going to be investigated, right? Right! Well, no, wrong, actually: "The Senate must not now look the other way simply because Mr. Stevens is among the most powerful of its members -- a man who dominates the appropriations process and makes no secret of his willingness to retaliate against senators who cross him," the article says. That's just the kind of thing that makes me so damn proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.
-Consider Arms
12:15:15 PM 
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