Why Has No One Noticed That Bush Is Running for Re-Election in the Year of the Monkey?
Howard Dean Needs Promo Advice from Ric Flair It's funny. When Howard Dean's nomination by the Democrats was being treated like a fait accompli by the meeja, I wasn't sold on the guy at all. It's more than that, really: I couldn't stand him. There was just something about a guy who would switch churches because of a bike path that I couldn't get behind. Now, when his third place finish in Iowa and crazed speech (which I insist is a page from the wheelin', dealin', kiss-stealin' playbook of the Nature Boy himself) have essentially sunk him like the Titanic, I find myself more likely to vote for him than before. This is why people like me never win anything.
Republican Staffers in "Total Bastards" Shocker! This is the country I live in: "Republican staff members of the US Senate Judiciary Commitee infiltrated opposition computer files for a year, monitoring secret strategy memos and periodically passing on copies to the media." Unsurprisingly, furry slug Bob Novak is up to his balls in this thing. This entire fracas just makes me want to take a shower and cry.
The John Rowland of Israel More and more people in Israel are calling on Ariel Sharon, their murderous gastropod prime minister, to resign in the wake of a bribery scandal. According to polls, about half the population wants him to resign while around 40 percent want him to stick around. If he's indicted, his hand will be forced, but until then he's hanging tough like the New Kids. Fans of world peace may despair to note that he insists he's staying on as Prime Minister and Likud chairman until 2007 "at least." 2007? Frankly, I don't think I'm prepared to put up with three more years of his crazy bullshit.
Too Bad George Creel Wasn't Available Charles Duelfer, the former number two man on the UN weapons inspections team, is said to be a likely choice to succeed no-luck David Kay in the colossal snipe hunt that has become our search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. The good news is that Duelfer apparently lives on the planet Earth: "The prospect of finding chemical weapons, biological weapons is close to nil at this point," he said in a recent TV interview. The bad news, for George Bush, is that this is what passes for a company man in Iraq these days.
Rush Limbaugh: Drug Scum The sky is black with chickens coming home to roost: "Palm Beach County prosecutors rejected an overture last month from Rush Limbaugh's attorneys that would have allowed the conservative commentator to enter drug rehabilitation rather than face criminal charges for prescription drug abuse." They think they have enough evidence to charge the portly, pill-popping commentator with 10 felonies. Maybe it's wrong to be delighted at the prospect of Rush Limbaugh's ass being churned like butter in prison, but if so, I don't wanna be right.
-Consider Arms (personal note: I'm taking a break from the car wash for a week, so I may be scarce around these parts until the dawn of February. Please know, though, that you are always in my heart)
1:50:42 PM 
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