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Wednesday, May 05, 2004

My Honor Student And Her Friends Can Kick The Shit Out Of Your Honor Student If They Can Get The Drop On Her I guess in Mount Vernon, Washington, a town about 50 miles north of here, they no longer celebrate their honor students with high tea at the country club.  Instead, they were given a special dance.  Sometime during the evening, an argument broke out, resulting in one of the uber-achievers being pummelled unconscious by three adversaries. School officials say they have no information on the subject of the disagreement, but Perils of Caffeine sources have discovered that the altercation started when one girl averred that another's brother was a "standard normal deviate".  The other girl responded that the first girl had asymptotes that were much too prominent, were perpendicular when all the popular girls' were parallel, and that as a result her love life would always be a discontinuous step function. Guidance counselors were still scoring the match when we went to press.   10:43:21 PM    Speak to me! []  TrackBack  []