Perils of Caffeine in the Evening

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Perils of Caffeine in the Evening
Ill-advised insomniac ruminations.

Last updated:
8/2/2005; 8:37:18 AM

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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Shock and Aw Shucks

I thought we might have gained some awareness of the limits of this sort of adventuring, but there we were again yesterday, bypassing the UN and launching a unilateral, unprovoked strike. Despite the vociferous protestations of Horton, the UN weapons inspector, the United States employed an unmanned drone weapon against the Whoville comet as it sped innocuously in its orbit between Mars and Jupiter. In a press conference to announce the attack, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld declined to provide an estimate of casualties, but described the unexpected magnitude of the blast with undisguised glee. Later this evening, CNN will relay a scratchy recording of what is believed to be an extremely distressed Mayor of Whoville, appealing for aid and a cessation of hostilities.

Horton, of African descent and suspected of ties to the fugitive terrorist Babar, is being held at Guantanamo until his threat to U. S. security can be evaluated.

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