We are pleased to announce the formation of a new, worldwide political party.
The new party will have no name, because names are misleading, ambiguous,
provocative, exclusive and inflexible.
The new party will have no platform, because platforms are transient and
opportunistic, and no policy, because honesty is the best policy and if we
were to be honest it would be so depressing we would never get elected.
The new party is opposed to war, but is also opposed to peace-in-our-time,
peace-at-any-cost, peace-that-surpasseth-understanding, and any other hyphenated-sort-of-peace.
The new party does not believe in 'semi-permeable' borders, military 'solutions',
'carrot-and-stick' diplomacy, 'sustainable' growth, emergency 'preparedness',
corporate 'self-regulation' or anything 'embedded' or 'pre-emptive', although
it appreciates the irony.
The new party's position on the political spectrum is represented by a quantum
equation. If asked by the media what this means, the correct explanation is
'probably'.
The new party will consist of an infinite number of ominous-sounding 'cells'.
Maximum membership in any cell will be one.
The new party will adopt as its logo the superimposition of the letter 'I'
and a question mark. The question mark represents the party's mandate to never
stop questioning, challenging, doubting and disbelieving. Accordingly, reporters
and compulsive viewers of FoxNews do not qualify for membership.
The letter 'I' represents the fundamental attributes required of members:
intelligent, informed, individual, independent-thinking, imaginative,
and intuitive. Cells may add additional I-words. However, the addition
of intransigent, incoherent, and inarticulate, while admirably
honest, is discouraged.
Because of the implicit plurality of the party, members of the party will
be encouraged to use the letter 'I' as a plural pronoun. Following
is an illustration:
All of I are in favour of free speech. but I are of the
opinion that trade should not be 'free', but instead should be kept in Guantanamo
for further questioning without the aid of lawyers.
Thank you for your attention. You may now resume your regular ranting, anxious
reading, and fruitless screaming into the darkness.
.
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MADE IN CANADA
trust your
instincts 
