If stories are all we are, and if we see everything through frames,
then we should be able to figure out how others think and feel, and
understand why we don't understand them, by first trying to appreciate
their favourite stories. Some of us liked The Rogues, and others liked Walker Texas Ranger. These series used diametrically opposite frames and approaches. The Rogues lasted less than two seasons, while Walker lasted eight. What does that tell us?
This will probably be a work in process. As I've previously admitted I
don't understand the conservative mindset, so it's hard for me to
resist parodying the conservative stories. So I've tried to be equally
over-the-top in both directions. Here goes:
Liberal-Frame Script
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Conservative-Frame Script
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Action Story:
A country has been turned into a police state by a bunch of rich
overweight white guys. A brave resistance group forms, they have a lot
of discussions and plans, and they take back their country by simply
refusing to deal with the companies and groups aligned with the corrupt
state. Passive resistance and cleverness works, and the frustrated
baddies are outwitted and defeated by the sheer intelligence and
ingenuity of the resistance. No one is killed, and the baddies are
finally convinced by their wives, who have joined the resistance, of
the error of their ways, and decide to devote their lives to charity.
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Action Story:
A small-town sherriff has to deal with an influx of swarthy unshaven
bikers out on early parole who threaten and harrass the townspeople,
give out drugs to the kids until they're hooked, and finally kidnap,
molest and torture the sherriff's wife and daughter. The sherriff
rallies and deputizes the confused and frightened townspeople, and in
their SUVs with gunracks mounted on the back they storm the gang
hideout, where they disarm the uzi-toting swarthies (unfortunately, the
sole black townsman, originally opposed to taking the law into their
own hands but finally won over by the ruggedly handsome sherriff, is
killed by a barrage of bullets in the process), and rescue the
hostages. All of the bad guys die slow, painful gruesome deaths, except
the leader, who escapes to plan his revenge for the sequel.
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Drama:
Two women, abused and mistreated by their husbands, boyfriends and/or
bosses, quit their lives, meet each other by an amusing accident, and
travel across the country together looking for something. On the way,
they encounter people and have experiences that show the ignorance,
intolerance and unfairness of the world as it is. They happen to meet
two dysfunctional and unassuming but generous and caring guys and they
fall in love. A huge number of long, clever and passionate
conversations occur. They're all good for each other and end up living
in a quirky village doing something very artistic and/or humanitarian.
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Drama:
A family man's son falls in with the wrong crowd, seduced by an amoral
girl who has already had three abortions. Soon she is pregnant by the
boy, and both of them are addicted to heroin. The boy refuses to have
anything to do with his family. Thanks to the boy's former girlfriend,
the tenacious daughter of the local minister, the family decides to
rescue the boy from his life of sin. After a failed hold-up to feed
their drug habit, the amoral girl frames the boy, the minister's
daughter and the boy's father together confront the amoral girl, save
her life when she's accosted by her dealer, and she repents, takes
responsibility for her sins, and decides to have the baby. The
cleaned-up son is torn over his responsibility to the unwed mother and
his newly-realized love for the minister's daughter. Dealer kills unwed
mother in drive-by shooting as she's on the way to church for the
baptism. Son and minister's daughter wed and adopt the baby.
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Horror: A
virus turns all the women and children of a liberal eastern suburb into
cult followers of a deranged bible-thumping minister. While the men
turn to the local scientific research lab for rational answers, the
women all quit their jobs, go off the pill, murder the local abortion
doctor, burn down the liberal churches, television and radio stations.
They stop reading and discussing, and talk only in passages from the
bible. The children start wearing suits and ties or long dresses and
address their fathers as 'sir'. The women chide their husbands for not
being dominant and aggressive, and say that if their husbands won't be
man enough to keep them in line, they'll have to get the minister to do
so, proudly showing off the whip marks he has inflicted on them.
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Horror:
Horned devil appears in liberal eastern vacation town during summer
vacation. The parents of all the teen-agers both work and are always
flying all over the world on business, so they're never around. The
unsupervised kids have wild drug orgies every night in which a lot of
expensive things are thoughtlessly broken and set on fire. The devil
slays the kids in bloody and excruciating ways right before or right
after they have lurid sex.
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Comedy:
A bumbling, dictatorial boss tries to keep his free-spirited employees
in line. His company plans various actions to exploit the workers and
ravage the environment, but the quick-witted and creative employees,
who engage in constant clever banter, foil all his plans in ways that
actually make the lives of workers, the community and the environment
better. But they still make lots of money for the shareholders, so the
boss has no basis for firing the employees, and has no alternative but
to take credit for the generous, fair and egalitarian actions of the
company.
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Comedy:
A group of dysfunctional yuppies representing every type of minority
group struggle to get by in a decadent liberal urban wasteland. The
unmarried professional woman, the gay guys, the mouthy maid, and the
lazy rich woman, vie with each other to see which can be stupidest,
meanest, and ruin each other's lives the most. The audience laughs to
see these liberal stereotypes portrayed as completely irresponsible,
moronic, emotional wrecks. Hey, that sounds familiar. Let me start
again. Two incredibly rich girls, one white, one black, with no family
values are forced to live and work with a southern farm family...
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What do you think? What other genres do we need? What's the archetypal liberal-frame and conservative-frame children's story script?
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