 What
would happen if a single corporate consortium -- let's call it
'GlobalCorp' -- achieved its ultimate goal: a 'corner' on every
business (including the underground economy) everywhere in the world?
This would be totally consistent with the mandate of public
corporations to 'maximize shareholder value'. Each year public
companies must produce a document called their 'MD&A' -- their
assessment of how well they've done in the past year, and what they
plan to do next to increase profits further. Here's what GlobalCorp's
MD&A might look like. I've used mostly wording similar to that in
real corporate reports.
Latin American Operations:
The continued political and labour strife in our Latin American region
was a mixed blessing for GlobalCorp this year. Because of labour
unreliability, we have had to bring millions of people from our Asian
region operations to manage and staff much of our Latin American
business this past year. Fortunately there remains a large inventory of
Asian workers requesting such placements, which we can draw upon. Our
security & incarceration division did great business this year,
partly as a result, with revenues from security operations up 17%, and
defense sales to Latin American governments up 23%. As these
governments no longer have the financial resources to pay for these
purchases, we received in lieu of payment 3.6 million square miles of
lands, bringing our total holdings in the area to 37%, which under our
contracts are tax free in perpetuity. Our mineral and petroleum
revenues rose 16% this year, thanks to strife in our African and Middle
Eastern region reducing supply from that part of our world, and the
insatiable demand from our Asian region. Revenues from pharmaceutical
operations rose 28%, boosted mainly by a 116% rise in recreational
pharmaceutical sales, the majority of which continues to be exported to
our North American region. Tourist services division revenues rose 12%
thanks to continued demand worldwide to see our Last AmazonLand theme
park and zoo.
European Operations:
This region continues to provide stable but unexciting growth. Our
agricultural revenues grew 3% thanks to an increase in subsidies, which
now exceed $200B per year. Labour costs in the region remain
unacceptably high, but the consumers in this region seem prepared to
pay that back to us in premium prices for products manufactured in the
region. This does allow us to minimize labour transfer costs, and
turnover between our companies is low. The product quality of
manufactured goods is exceptional, which allows us limited opportunity
to sell replacement goods to consumers in this region. Furthermore,
these consumers continue to have small families, below replacement
levels, so the number of new consumers is unacceptably low. Our
political leverage (discussed below) in the region is the lowest in our
world, so we have been unable to persuade governments to import more
new consumers to stimulate growth. Overall, a disappointing and
frustrating year for our operations in this region.
African and Middle Eastern Operations: It
was another sensational year of double-digit growth for our operations
in this region. War remains the world's number one industry, and its
most profitable, and this region accounts for over half of war-related
business sales. Sales of defense equipment and supplies to governments
in this region rose 33%, while sales to opponents of these governments
rose 19%. Now that the governments are paying us with land, the
opponents of governments just cannot compete with the governments to
pay the annual double-digit price increases we have been able to put
through on our full defense equipment and supplies line in recent
years. While governments in the region are pleased that their opponents
are finding it increasingly difficult to pay our prices, some of our
shareholders are concerned that without armed opposition, demand for
GlobalCorp's defense products may soon decline. But we assure our
shareholders that, because balkanization in the region has resulted in
twice as many countries (and hence governments) in the region as there
were before, we see almost unlimited growth potential for the defense
division as these countries begin focusing more on 'defense' from each
other. We are pleased to report that as payment for defense revenues,
we have now acquired over half of all the land in the region. Our theme
parks in the region, especially the religious theme parks, are doing
record business, up 128% over last year. Recreational pharmaceutical
sales from the region are up 44%, with most of the product going to our
consumers in the European and Asian regions. Since most non-government
consumers in the region have neither money nor land to offer us, we
continue to focus away from supplying this high-risk consumer segment,
as governments there have been unwilling to provide subsidies that
would provide us with a satisfactory ROI to re-enter this market.
Asian and Pacific Operations: In
contrast, non-government consumers in our Asian and Pacific region have
been an excellent growth market. We are delighted to see that consumers
in this region appear to be emulating the buying behaviours of North
American consumers, especially acceptance of the premium value of brand
name labels, and of high levels of personal indebtedness -- and there
are eight times as many of them. Since we acquired the last of the
major Asian coal operations and have introduced our new discount
nuclear power plant models, energy product division sales to the region
have doubled for the third year in a row. And while land acquisition in
payment for these purchases has not been as quick as in the rest of the
third world, we are pleased to report that this year we acquired Tibet
from the government of China, in payment for our construction of the
fifth and sixth Chinese mega-dam projects. We welcome all Tibetans to
the happy family of GlobalCorp 'corporate citizens'.
North American Operations: It
is hard to separate our reports on North American and Asian/Pacific
operations because the two regions have developed such strong consumer
emulation and economic co-dependence. We continue our policy of
operating manufacturing facilities in North America only if they are
staffed by no less than 75% imported workers. This has enabled us to
keep costs low and productivity high for these few remaining North
American plants. The situation for North-American-born consumers is
problematic for several reasons. Their work ethic is poor. They expect
high wages. They are over-educated but under-skilled. Because they have
had access to inexpensive Asian-made goods, they have been unwilling to
pay a premium for domestically-made products, and as a result the
European high wages/high prices model simply will not work in North
America. In fact, many North Americans from Europe have started
returning to Europe, and we are beginning to see a similar
'reverse-immigration' to Asia as well. But there simply is no need for
a lot of managers, or workers as a whole, in our North American
operations. As a result, we are now considering focusing away from the
individual North American consumer, except as a market for our Asian
consumer goods manufactured products and our Latin American
recreational pharmaceutical products. These consumers are already at
their debt limits, and their income prospects are not exceptional.
These concerns do not apply to the North American governments,
however, who continue to be wonderful customers and supporters. We are
pleased to report that these governments recently eliminated the last
corporate and other taxes on GlobalCorp activities, have been extremely
generous selling us very valuable land at reasonable prices and
eliminating and under-enforcing regulations affecting our operations.
In addition, they continue to provide our North American agricultural
division over $200B per year in subsidies. They are also, of course,
our number one customer for our number one industry, defense, and their
appetite and willingness to pay annual price increases remains
substantial. And as a significant part of the consumer population of
North America is becoming increasingly violent as their value as both
producers and consumers declines, our security and incarceration
division is also generating double-digit increases in revenues, as the
number of North Americans housed involuntarily in various
GlobalCorp-run public facilities approaches three million.
Government and Public Relations: As
we have explained in previous MD&A reports, our objective is to
establish a true 'fulfillment' relationship model with governments the
word over: They buy from us, they pay us with money, land or other
commodities we find of value, they impose no taxes or regulations on us
of any kind. This is a true 'free-market' model, one which our
shareholders demand and which governments are increasingly providing to
us. But it is a continuing struggle, as some consumers continue to try
to get governments to impose restrictions on us. And although we are
currently unchallenged by competition of any kind, this does not mean
it is not a free market. If consumers are not happy with the wage
freezes in place in all our facilities world-wide, they are free to set
up their own companies (which, thanks to us, are for the most part now
tax-free). If they are not happy with the price increases we put
through each year on all our products, which we must do to meet
shareholder expectations, they are free to look for someone else to buy
from, or not buy at all. We are able to take advantage of our global
reach, access to the cheapest commodities and labour markets, and
economies of scale to produce and offer products at a price that is
lower than small producers could match, yet high enough to provide our
shareholders with an excellent ROI. To sustain this, we are continually
looking for cheaper sources and processes, further reductions to taxes
and regulations, and additional government subsidies, but all of these
are becoming harder and harder to find, which is why we have started
raising prices. We are responsible to our shareholders, and cannot do
otherwise. We are not
responsible to consumers -- it is not our job to provide them with
high-paying, interesting employment, or employment at all. That is the
job of the government and society through the education system. It is
not our job to protect the environment, or the quality of life in all
the communities in which we operate. That too is the government's job.
The anti-globalization protesters, unions and eco-terrorists don't seem
to appreciate that their beef should not be with us, it should be with
their governments. They can try to persuade governments to regulate the
economy more, while we will, as we must, try to persuade them to
regulate less. They can use consumer lobbies and their votes, while we
will use corporate lobbies and campaign support. Whichever side is more
persuasive will win. That's what freedom is all about.
Image from article in The Economist on Joel Bakan's The Corporation
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MADE IN CANADA
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