Recently
a couple of people have written me that they're feeling defeated, and
about ready to give up, and asked what keeps me going. I'm less
depressed now than I have been in years, and I think it's largely
because I've learned to be good to myself. If we're going to save the
world and stuff we need to be at the top of
our game, and that means being good to ourselves and to others fighting
the good fight.
Here are ten ways to do so. Some of them are difficult, but they're all worth trying:
- Stop comparing yourself and competing with others:
Maybe I've just been lucky, but I don't understand envy. I know so many
people who are eaten up because they don't think they have the looks,
the smarts, the possessions or the power of some other people they
(think they) know. I see people whose whole life seems to be about
getting attention and approval and appreciation from others. This is
insane, consigning yourself to slavery to others' judgements. How do we
get this way? Is low self-esteem something that is bred into us to keep
us in line, acquisitive, dissatisfied with what we have? Whatever the
cause, we need to get over it. The only standard that counts is whether
you're doing what you love, what you're good at (in your own
assessment), and whether, in the process, you're happy. Popularity,
wealth, power, and awards mostly measure good fortune and fads, nothing
more.
- Get things done:
There are few things better for you than a sense of accomplishment. The
keys to getting things done are not over-promising, making your GTD
list achievable, doing what's important not what's urgent (and training others not to give you urgent unimportant tasks), and breaking big tasks down into small, manageable ones.
- Let-yourself-change: Stop trying to change the world. Adapt yourself to the world instead. Let yourself change.
Become resilient. The model you represent to others is more likely to
bring about sustained change than big, impossible projects.
- Stop worrying about what you can't do anything about: Easy to say, hard to do, I know. I wrote about this yesterday. Whenever you catch yourself getting stressed, practice letting go - you'll get better at it in time.
- Learn something new (useful or fun) every day: It's the best way to cope with sadness and feelings of helplessness. Learn things that will make you more self-sufficient - learn skills and capacities, not about unactionable events and facts.
- Be good to others: Acts of kindness tend to pay unexpected and compound dividends, and they make you feel good about yourself too.
- Centre yourself: To
be more in control of yourself, pay attention to what you feel, what
your senses and instincts and body tell you, turn off the noises in
your house and your head. Learn to meditate or otherwise relax. Give
yourself more time by realizing your time is worth more than what
you're paid for it, and then spend and take that time, in nature, in
peaceful places, just taking stock and being in the moment.
- Look after your body: Exercise, eat and drink well, and get lots of sleep and rest.
- Surround yourself with loving people:
People you love and who love you. Animals and children. People who give
a damn. People who are happy and respectful of others. Avoid miserable
and angry people. Spend some time alone, but not too much.
- Do some spontaneous, playful things: Create something bold. Travel on the spur of the moment. Entertain. Run. Indulge. Dance. Get a massage. You get the idea.
What else? How are you good to yourself?
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MADE IN CANADA
trust your
instincts 
