Dave Pollard's environmental philosophy, creative works, business papers and essays.
In search of a better way to live and make a living, and a better understanding of how the world really works.

	August 25, 2008

The Space Between Despair and Hope Einstein said that in his experience, the more people know about what happening in the world, the more pessimistic they become. I've become more pessimistic, but less depressed, as I've learned and studied and talked about the state of our fragile little planet and all its creatures. But I've also become less of an activist, more inclined to think and read and write and do things locally in my own communities (including my online ones), and less inclined to actually do anything physically. I've been content to let-myself-change and encourage others to do likewise. Content, or some might say, paralyzed. When I was younger, ignorant and driven by hormones, I vacillated between ecstasy and misery, spending long stretches of my life in blissful denial of the grim realities of our world, and equally long stretches in black, suicidal depression. Both extremes were largely disconnected from reality. These days I'm less prone to either extreme, and I've learned to navigate my way through good news and bad, rarely getting euphoric even at times when everything seemed positive (because my unbearable grief for Gaia is with me, always), and rarely getting despondent even at times when everything seemed to be falling apart (because what's the point of that, really?) But I am an incorrigible idealist, and my expectations are often high. I think this is because I have such a vivid imagination. I can see opportunities, envision possibilities. I am convinced we could, under ideal circumstances, live lives of astonishing joy, ease, and peace. I am persuaded by recent anthropological research that suggests that, prior to the ice ages, we lived such a life, and that most creatures live such a life even today, engrossed in the wonder of Now Time, intimately and utterly and blissfully connected with all-life-on-Earth. When I study concepts like polyamorism and intentional community I can imagine these concepts realized, if only we could overcome our prejudices, fears and inequality. "If only" -- the idealist's siren song. So I navigate the narrow channel between hope and despair, steering clear of both unwarranted optimism and useless pessimism. With practice, I've learned to be good at this, adept and flexible to changes and challenges that once would have got the better of me. But this keeps me busy. I aspire to becoming a realist, to gain a little more room for error, more room to maneuver emotionally. Like idealists, realists navigate the channel between foolish optimism and useless pessimism, but in their case the channel is wider, more forgiving. Their expectations and hopes are lower than the idealist's, so the point at which they founder into euphoria (and then return from it, disillusioned) is further from the point of despair. Realists therefore have more freedom to be activists than we idealists -- we idealists furiously processing exuberant ideas and dreadful news and steering ourselves through the rocky and narrow passage between hope and despair. It's a survival skill that allows us no time or energy for more altruistic and generous activities, and too little time for reflection. Maybe that's why idealists are often also procrastinators, and often tired: "Just give me a sec to catch my breath before I face the next set of rapids." Or perhaps that's just a rationalization for inaction. Can an idealist become a realist? Not sure. Perhaps meditation will help. Dreaming impossible dreams is a hard habit to break. More strange ideas tomorrow. Category: Being Human 11:53:55 PM  trackback []  comment []

© Copyright 2008 Dave Pollard. Last update: 01/09/2008; 10:25:59 PM.