 It's about time I stop pretending there's nothing wrong. If you're a regular reader of How to Save the World you've certainly sensed from my writing that something's amiss -- my
writing is shorter, disjointed, unfocused, just not all there. I'm behind in everything I want to do, even though I love what I'm doing. Those I love are not getting enough attention from me. And some of the therapeutic daily and
weekly routines I'd trained myself to do diligently lie undone.
I have no stamina. I get interested in
things and get wrapped up in them for awhile and then my interest flags
and I do something else for awhile. I don't abandon things (though
that's probably how others see it), I just put them aside, and usually
take them up again later with just as much intensity. When I wrote the article about the importance of Doing One or Two Things Really Well, I was trying to provoke and teach myself
that very valuable advice, but I often do not take my own advice... Just because you know just what to do, doesn't mean you're
going to do it.
If
the paragraphs above sound familiar it's because I wrote them in July
2005, in an article entitled Apology. I seem to be back there again.
Back then I wrote:
"You're
like a cluster fly", a girlfriend told me many years ago, "you know,
those high-energy flies that come indoors in the spring and the fall
that crash into walls, ceilings, lights, windows, like crazed dive
bombers, and then spin around noisily on their backs when they hurt
themselves. That's you -- no grounding, no focus, just running full
tilt at everything until you knock yourself out." She was right.
I'm
happier than I've ever been in my life. But I can't say the same for
the people I touch. Although few are saying it, it's clear they feel
short-changed for my time and attention. That's why several of my
recent 'thinking out loud' articles have been about the scarcity of
time and attention.
I don't know what to do. Ideally I should be able to do everything on my Intentions list,
and I will, but even though I know how to do them and I'm working on
them it's not happening nearly as quickly or directly as I want, for a
number of reasons:
- I'm spreading myself too thin, not
allotting enough time or attention to anything. Trying to do too many
things too quickly and at once.
- I'm not as efficient at doing things, spending my time productively, as I'd like to be.
- The
people I love and work with and network with are also not efficient at
'using' my time and attention. They want more time and attention from
me than should (I rationalize) strictly be necessary. I can't blame
them for that. I can't and won't say 'no' to them, because what they
want from me is important. That's why I'm here.
- I need time off, to relax, reflect, write, exercise, sleep, and I'm not taking it.
I know some people who seem to get so much
done, but when I ask, they don't seem to know how they do it. I
observe, and admire their energy, but I just can't seem to figure out
the secret.
Advice welcome. Especially if you (unlike myself) have taken your own advice, and found it to work.
|
MADE IN CANADA
trust your
instincts 
